4) You know you are Borderline when...

When I'm in a good, accepting mode and I think to myself of a certain situation, yea, I can do/handle that. In the end, I was wrong, I faileld and I begin to wonder if I'm really just testing myself to begin with or get too dreamy. I just think it's the mood and feeling a normalcy within. It feels good while I'm thinking it, but to manifest it successfully . . . another story. It's so disappointing when it doesn't work out, but when it seems a little hopeful.

When your friend compares you to the emotional equivalent of a teenager

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You try to kill yourself, fail and then when everyone around you disapproves this sends you off to try and kill yourself again.

when you hate the person you love because of one tiny thing they said. even though you know you've said all sorts of crap yourself.

When love is the only thing that matters and the only thing you can't hang on to

When you post on another board and no one replies and you figure it is because you are undeserving of an answer.

When people tell you that you overwhelm them and you go into panic mode and cut them off

When you work so hard to accomplish something, but on the eve of doing it you're paralyzed from fear and anxiety and want to just screw it all.

When your mother quotes the title of a book on BPD and doesn't know you have BPD when she's describing you: i feel like we're always walking on eggshells around you!

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LOL...my husband did that last week. I tried to get him to understand BPD, but according to him "anyone can have BPD depending on how you interpret the traits"...end of discussion. Wonderful way to be invalidated.

Go check your phobia thread. You will be surprised.

When the anxiety and fears keep you up at night 'playing detective' in others' lives because you know they must be lying to you...

you feel completely alone

oh dear...this does bring back memories...I just knew he was lying.... so "detective" I became...and opened up a Pandora's box...that led to all kinds of things....I do hate when the mind will not rest.... I do understand completely and how it affects everything.... Take care and please do something to relax the head and body....take care now...hugs

Hi bel -
I forgot to ask my T this week; I think my brain was frozen with the weather. Will do soon, though.

I've noticed that when I get into a particularly dramatic episode, I know it is masking something missing .... like it is a form of acting act to make it seem OK. I became aware of that happening right after I had a long phone convo with a family member, like everything was OK and all the stuff I was doing, but then I knew it was a cover up. I was lonely inside and trying to soothe my inner child. I suppose if I can follow the clues closely enough, I might find out what happened. I've never been bi-polar, just mildly depressed at times, but deff, most deff, of late, this BPD which I have to resume again in T.

Peace to you and breakthroughs for 2014,

help

... you post something dark online in an attempt to gain the attention of one of your friends.

I hate myself for seeking attention, especially in this way. but I can't seem to stop.

the quality of your day is completely based on external factors and your inability to control your internal feelings

You can convince yourself that something good is the worst thing in the world, and vice versa, in an instant.

When you make a thread on here, and nobody replies immediately and you swear that nobody cares!

That happens with me a lot....if I have an app't. with someone and I don't like the way things played out, I blame myself for even going. There were boundaries today I could have set, but didn't and the end result was the feeling that I did not control the externals, but could have. I was empowered in that I saw the warning signs of a potentially volatile situation.

You deliberately wait for a friend to contact *you* first, and feel more and more like they actually hate you because they don't contact you, even though you know if they contacted them they'd reply

You text a friend and don't hear from them but see their updates on FB/Twitter or someone else mentions talking to them and you feel like they secretly hate you/ are fed up with you but daren't tell you

When you know the logistics of your emotions, know its irrational to cry because its part of the job and has happened countless times before but you can't help but feel completely awful and attacked. Then you go home and try to sleep but wake up 2 hrs later thinking about how much of a failure you are.

Facebook/Twitter and texting...much of our high tech society is unhealthy for us. We expect or want and instant reply and don't get it and feel like we're unwanted or uncared for because of it. I won't become an active member of Facebook or Twitter largely because of that.

When a disappointed look or tone of voice of someone is enough to cause the self-hatred and guilt to build and send you in to a tailspin.....

When you seriously think about trying to go inpatient just so your MH issues will be thought of as a real issue.