4) You know you are Borderline when...

You impulsively move 2,600 miles from home to escape your problems and then wonder why you're alone. A decision I will regret the rest of my life.

Hold grudges for Yonks !

Everybody around you is getting depressed and you blame yourself for their suffering.

When you feel like a burden on everybody.

When you fall in and out of love over night and wonder what happened to your strong feelings.

You find yourself trying to explain that sometimes your overwhelming need to be loved over rides your awareness of the fact you don't deserve to be.

You invite your friend for lunch, but because it's a bit expensive she's unsure and then decides of her own accord to eat elsewhere. The rest of your day is ruined and you hate her for it.

When you've never been especially shy....yet when you come into chat and see someone you've wanted to talk to because they seemed really insightful....and you stare at their screen name....for moments that seem like elongated torture....until you just shrug and figure they wouldn't want to talk to you anyway....leave the chat 'lobby'.....then berate yourself for hours for not just SAYING something.

When you're still crying, embarrassed over that dumb thing you said months ago... they must all think you're stupid!

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you live in Ohio with your girlfriend ,you break up and she moves back in with her parents in Oregon 3000+ miles away, you keep in contact cause you're not good at that "letting go thing" you decide after a year to get back together, fly all the way out to Oregon to get her, pay for everything including a 3 day cross country drive, you're back together for 2 months. you get mad because she's talking mean to you (now mind you she's bi polar and you know this) you break up again.
she goes back to Oregon again, you swear you hate her now ( but still talk to her, of course) you find a new girlfriend, move her in in less than a month, you swear you love her & are going to marry her, it lasts a week, you ask her to leave, you go back to the first girlfriend begging and pleading for forgiveness and you can't understand why she's in no hurry to return...

I do this all the time! Thank you!

Trying2survive did you read my mind other then both of us are in Oregon. Your story sound just like my life and yes I am still waiting to get back with her after 2 year no stocking I am just waiting for her to come back to me

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When you finally work up the nerve to tell your bf he needs to find somewhere else to live and you feel relieved when he shows no signs of doing it.

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hee hee, i don't know if i read your mind, but i sure made a mess of things!
it's been about 4 months and i don't think she's coming back, i'm having a hell of a time letting go, but i'm starting to accept that it is over, i will get to see her for about 5 days next month, for her birthday, but i blew it, i'm sure

On the phone I can't quota people but its been over a year and I still can't let go it been a little easier but I still cry my self to sleep every night for the last two years

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When no matter what others do to you or how they hurt you the only person you ever really hate is you.

i cried pretty hard the first couple months, almost daily
its intermittent now, i guess part of it is she still talks to me on the phone daily
i don't know what i'm going to do after the 23rd, its probably going to be bad,
i wish i could just shut my emotions down completely altogether and never feel any pain again

What will happens after the 23? Your lucky she calls you everyday. I think we al wish we could just turn of are emotions.
I hope you can find a way to let go of her or maybe she will give you another chance us women do that many times.

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You completely devour your loved one with a tirade of vicious verbal vitriol, and the next minute you are fine, as if everything is just peachy and you feel like you can just take back everything you've just said! - No big deal, right???

the trip will be over and i'll have to fly back to ohio, i'll be in oregon for 5 days
trying my best to save the relationship i ruined .i do consider myself fortunate
that we talk everyday), she won't let me tell her i love her anymore and she doesn't tell me she loves me anymore and it hurts so bad, i wish i could get her to say it just once. she got mad at me for saying it everyday & told me to stop. i don't know what's going to happen, i tried to convince her to come visit me in ohio for a month in may & she says she doesn't know if she's ready for that.
i'm tired of being rejected, i'm tired of begging and i'm tired of being alone.
i just wish she would give me another chance, i hope you're right and she does, but right now it's not looking good
i may have to let go and that's really gonna hurt, if that happens i'm gonna be a wreck

ha ha ha, yeah and whatever they did to you somehow it must your fault and you deserved it, i know the feeling!

You cry over every little thing then wonder why people think you're too depressed to hang out

One little thing goes wrong and your entire week is completely ruined

Your sobbing whist hanging the washing out hating yourself and simultaneously thinking about painting the bathroom cupboard :/

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When you are so sure that you are a horrible pos monster that you hide in forums like this just reading and not posting because surely even people that are struggling with the same things as you are still going to hate you and reject you.
When you are so insecure and hate yourself so much that you can't believe that a person that has been with you for 4 years and constantly tells you that they will never leave and that they love you but yet you still feel used rejected conspired against etc. And everything everyone else said on here.

YEP everyday.

I do this a lot but I cycle between I raged yesterday or just this morning and it's like light years away from me OR I realize what I just did and I feel like I'm a total monster that should be locked away so I can't hurt anyone else. And the strangest part about this is that I will remember something I did like months or even several years ago and be so grief stricken it's as if I'm experiencing it for the first time.

I'm a firm believer everyone deserves love.