What do you do to self-soothe?

I've been feeling a lot of stress and anxiety lately (some of which I mentioned in a previous post entitled "Worried"). My T and I talked about how I needed to take care of myself when I feel anxious and, I'll admit, I'm bad at it. I tend to shut down when I'm anxious. I know that I need to run errands, clean, pay bills, and do things but instead of maybe breaking things down into doable bits I shut down and don't do anything, thus making anxiety and stress worse. And I don't self-soothe effectively. I sometimes make myself some tea which helps but a lot of the time I will just sit and watch TV for distraction, or take a nap because I'm bored and stressed. But a "nap" should only be a half hour to 45 minutes but for me tends to be a few hours long which my T explained isn't good for my overall sleep patterns, contributing to stress even more.

Self-soothing is an important skill for us to have, so I'm wondering what you guys do to self-soothe and how effective it is for you?

Trying putting on some relaxing music, lowering down the lights, lighting a candle or two, and taking a warm bath. I take the bath part almost every night. Most of the time, it helps me sleep better. You can even take your phone or tablet in the bathroom with you and do a short guided meditation while in the tub.

I'm tall and my bathtub is too short for me to take a bath in. But I like the idea of relaxing music and candles. I do that sometimes, just sit and listen to music and relax. It's sometimes difficult for me to settle down and actually get myself to relax enough to do it, if that makes sense. It's like the more active my brain is the more active it wants to stay.

taking a bubble bath, drinking some tea, reading poetry or writing it, BPD forum/chat, cuddles with my green blanket, listening to some music

What a great question! I'm terrible at self-soothing. I eat ice cream. I'm afraid of things that are "relaxing" because I don't trust my mind to shut down. It seems I need the tv on all the time because it's the only thing that distracts me. I'm even afraid to turn off the tv when I'm on the computer because I just don't want to think about stuff. I keep meaning to try the guided meditation that Maranara suggests, though, to see if I can just concentrate on the voice and shut everything else out.

I eat sweet things (preferably chocolate ) and listen to music. Weirdly, I don't do "soothing" music. I listen to Linkin Park or Sonata Arctica, both of which are more metal/rock bands. It works for me, though!

A lot of them are short...only 2 or 3 minutes long...so they're not that bad, and you can increase the time and do longer ones as you train your mind to shut up.

I'm the same way sometimes.

E A T .....

i have an imaginary world that i escape to. im the center of it. im cared about there.

I do that too. When I'm upset I talk to my alter ego in my imaginary world, and he gives me advice. It's kinda weird when I think about it later, because it's just me discussing my problems. I guess all the answers are in me, I just need some time to cool down.

I'm not very good ay sensory self-soothing, but I find taking a warm shower helps. So does rigorous exercise.

Another, slightly strange, coping technique I use is to listen to the pre-recorded sound of a hairdryer while meditating.

When I was young, I'd lie on my mom's bed while she blow-dried her hair, so it elicits a strong sense of well-being.

PErhaps you could find a sound that soothes you, and meditate while listening to it.

That used to be my mechanism as well, now I'm trying to undo the effects of years of that self-soothing mechanism.

Me too.....

I take baths.. I like to splash water on my face. I also have a swimming class and love going to the beach.. can't wait till it warms up enough to go to the beach. I also like sitting in the sunshine. Oh and I also like to light incense, candles, and lay around naked while listening to the Beach Fossils or Calla.

Interestingly enough I was just introduced to Capacitar. You might want to try a few of this suggestions: Capacitar International: Home

I've been doing the fingerholds and that seems to take my mind off of whatever is bothering me. So far so good. Peace

i play my games, it's about the only thing that really takes all my concentration to let me escape from it all.

Meditation just. doesn't work. Tried too many times and I can't do it.

I like the tv on but only watch it late at night fully. I like it on when I'm on the computer for the ambiance although I dont' have the sound off, since I'm getting deafer by the day, I'd have to have it up too loud to hear it which would wake the neighborhood.

Take my phone or tablet to the bath? I would never try to use an electronic device of any kind near my bath. I mean I use it in the bathroom and have it with me but not while in the bath! o.O

I like drinking Tension Tamer tea and hanging out on here, or watching Netflix. I also will light a candle and listen to jazz. Or have a glass of wine and a piece of dark chocolate (while doing whatever). Sometimes I'll re-watch one of my favorite feel-good movies (though I haven't done that in a while...need to do that again!) or read a good, but not necessarily intellectual, book.

This one costs money, but I keep meaning to schedule a massage. It would be really nice to be touched by caring, safe hands.

I need to do that as well. I actually pulled a muscle in my lower back just reaching for something on my kitchen counter because my muscles are so tense all the time.