[Ultra Darkness]

That's all there is to it. This is the only place where I get any replies. The Depression forum, Anxiety forum, Health forum, etc? Almost nothing. I've posted a few times in the Depression forum, but it doesn't matter. 50 views in the Health forum? Not even a hug, and I had hoped for something.

Why do people ignore me? As far as I'm concerned, it's simple. My problems are excessively mild compared to those of most people. They aren't worth bothering with.
I need to post something somewhere else. But I don't see the point if I'm just going to be ignored some more.

[pegasus]

Hugs ((((( Ultra Darkness )))))

So many threads and posts and I can't keep up, not ignoring you, just overwhelmed. Thinking of you.

[gayleggg]

Sorry you are having such a problem getting responses. Hopefully you will connect with someone here. I'm so depressed i rarely answer posts due to lack of knowing if my thoughts are sane or not. I don't have much in the way of support other than to tell you to keep trying. I would be glad to listen if you want to message me. I'm rather new here myself and tend to get lost. I do understand being in dark places.
Gayle

It is such a huge forum, I can't keep up with the forum most days and I don't visit all the forums, I can see why you feel no one cares Ultra, when no one replies to our posts it does make us feel this way, I do care about you

[greentires4me]

We all care...for you now you don't or can't say that we didn't respond to you...because we all took time out to answer you here...we wuv you here...and don't forget it..

I was talking to another member the other day who felt the same way, and I've felt that way before. We spill who we are out and it doesn't seem to matter to anyone.

I recently wrote a thread that was very hard for me to write. It was filled with emotion and I poured my soul in to it. I received only two replies. I bumped it back up, and it slid back down with no other notice. I get it. There is no answer. We partly feel the way we do due to BPD. We're crying for attention and don't get it.

Hang in there. People do hear you. People do care. We just don't always see that.

Hey Ultra, I'm really sorry that you are feeling ignored and hurting. You are doing the
right thing by posting your feelings about your situation: you are expressing your feelings in a healthy way and asking for what you need. That takes courage and I applaud you for doing this. Keep trying and you will connect with more people.

Sometimes, because I have depression, I get caught up in thinking about how I am feeling and have extreme difficulty breaking out of the cycle of worry about myself. I have found that if I try to find a way to help another person instead of worrying about myself that I will start to feel just a little bit better. Usually the person I am showing kindness to will surprise me by showing kindness right back to me.

I feel the exact same way. The thing is that I don't feel that I get many replies over here (in the BPD forum) either unless I post something really benign like "What do you do to self-soothe?" If I post something when I'm hurting and depressed, it's too negative and people don't want to read it and thus, don't reply. If I post something positive, people simply don't bother to reply because I'm not depressed so I must not need the reply.

I'm not saying I get no replies, but when there are like, 60 views and two replies that makes me feel kinda bad. But I tried cross-posting to other forums and I got zero replies so...yeah. That felt awesome. It makes my BPD brain get paranoid, like I'm being singled out. Like I've done something wrong and everyone is ignoring me, even though I know that that isn't reality. (Right??)

I care about you and about people who post on here, and do my best to reply in kind.

[wadingthruemotions]

I have noticed a mixture of replies and non to things I post. I try to look for or search for posts from those that have answered me or we are friends here so I can try to help if I can.

If nothing else I will listen. I have been in a funk myself a lot here lately. So in those times I try not to post too much in reply as it ends up looking like I am trying to turn it to be about me and that is not it at all.

I only relay my experiences so that the other person can truly see I do get it but it is not taken that way a lot so I have been holding back.

You are noticed. I like your posts cause I don't feel so alone or lonely myself.

I do care. And fyi I will be out of town for a few days (family wedding-joy). just in case no one sees me around or anything, I haven't disappeared as much as I may want to, lol.

Seriously you are cared about and I am sorry if I have not replied or hugged enough.

[TheRealFDeal]

I have felt the same way at times. Feeling ignored when you are trying to reach out just seems like a slap in the face sometimes and one wonders why one keeps coming back.

I feel bad when I see that I am one of the "60 views" and don't respond. Sometimes I don't resonate but often I'm afraid I will be too negative in my response so I err on the side of caution, which to me is to remain silent. I have a hard time thinking anybody will miss a post I don't write.

When we can't say anything, we should still let them know we're thinking about them. That's what's the "thanks" and "hugs" are for.

[Luctor]

Originally Posted by Ultra Darkness

That's all there is to it. This is the only place where I get any replies. The Depression forum, Anxiety forum, Health forum, etc? Almost nothing. I've posted a few times in the Depression forum, but it doesn't matter. 50 views in the Health forum? Not even a hug, and I had hoped for something.

Why do people ignore me? As far as I'm concerned, it's simple. My problems are excessively mild compared to those of most people. They aren't worth bothering with.
I need to post something somewhere else. But I don't see the point if I'm just going to be ignored some more.

I find that if I need consolation, turning to people I've connected with is the best option, in a one-on-one discussion, either in the visitor comments section or PMs. Creating a thread often doesn't deliver the kinds of responses or compassion you're looking for.

Just an observation I've made after a few years of being a member of online support groups.

[Ultra Darkness]

Originally Posted by Luctor

I find that if I need consolation, turning to people I've connected with is the best option, in a one-on-one discussion, either in the visitor comments section or PMs. Creating a thread often doesn't deliver the kinds of responses or compassion you're looking for.

Just an observation I've made after a few years of being a member of online support groups.

I never know how to start a conversation, with PMs or any other method.

Originally Posted by Ultra Darkness

I never know how to start a conversation, with PMs or any other method.

Do you feel like you can reach out to any specific people on here via PM? Personally, there are only two that I actually feel like I can PM, and I have like, 25 or so on my friends list...

[beautifulfreak]

Can relate to this…feel ignored a lot. Also, ignored in real life. I don't fit in anywhere I guess.

However, I guess I ignore others too, not intentionally of course, but as other members have said there is just so much going on, everything moves so fast on the forums. Plus, people may not be logged in for a time and when they do they may not know what's been happening.

That's just my opinion anyway.

[Ultra Darkness]

Originally Posted by misskeena

Do you feel like you can reach out to any specific people on here via PM? Personally, there are only two that I actually feel like I can PM, and I have like, 25 or so on my friends list...

Yeah, I'll PM almost anyone on my friends list, and some who aren't. But I still don't know how to start talking.

Originally Posted by Ultra Darkness

Yeah, I'll PM almost anyone on my friends list, and some who aren't. But I still don't know how to start talking.

I agree with you there.

[Fuzzybear]

I know... It's not easy..

[hannabee]

Sometimes I read a post and start to write a response and then think that it will not be helpful enough because I am not a professional. I imagine I'm not alone in that thinking.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I relate to this feeling.

I talked to some ppl at another board here, too. I have a thread called "Active Listening"; it's on the Survivors of Abuse board. I wish I could paste it on here, but I don't know how to do that.

Just feeling like ppl are listening and caring can really make a difference---and not just listening to the "cool" people or the "nons" (persons without bpd) or the "popular ones", etc.

thanks,

Carol

[poptart316]

I'm sorry that you're feeling ignored, I often feel that way too.. actually sometimes I think I'm annoying people with my posts/responses. I don't think I'm especially supportive on here (or in general) it's just something I'm not very good at.. but something that I'd like to work on and it might be easier to start here. I do read posts though and try to show support with hugs.. but sometimes I wont respond because I'm not sure what to say or someone else said what I wanted say and said it better than I ever could.

I'm also feel you on not being sure how to start a conversation.