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#1
May 28, 2013, 06:25 PM
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Feel like disappearing. I'm just wanting to go away. Triggered I think. I was made to feel like I don't belong anywhere. I'm feeling like crap. I just needed to get it out.
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PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin  |
 Amireallyasleep, Atypical_Disaster, sans
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#2
May 28, 2013, 06:26 PM
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I'm sorry. I understand how you feel.
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 tigersassy
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#3
May 28, 2013, 07:30 PM
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Definitely feel where you're coming from but you're worthy. I know it doesn't mean much often times I despise the word but I try and say it everyday to remind myself because for some reason it keeps my head above water for a second longer so that I'm able to calm down a bit and breathe
Maybe it'll help sorry if it doesn't |
| tigersassy
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#4
May 29, 2013, 02:45 PM
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I want to go away too.
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| tigersassy
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#5
May 29, 2013, 02:47 PM
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The reason I never really feel like going away is because I can go into my own world anytime I want and it's the same as going away. I get lost in myself in my art, and in my gaming. It's as though everyone and everything just falls away the leaves on a tree...I can do that for hours.
Maybe if you can find something that's a true escape for you it will help. its the way I cope. |
| tigersassy
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#6
May 29, 2013, 07:32 PM
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Still feel it today but not as bad. Wish this Med would kick in got a while yet based on what nurse said. I'm just wanting to be happy again.
__________________
PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin |
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#7
May 29, 2013, 08:10 PM
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Life works in cycles...you will be happy again...then sad...then ok...then...on and on. I know the feeling of wanting to disappear....and have tried several times to make that happen. If I did I would have missed out on some really cool stuff, painful stuff, surprising stuff... I never would have seen Game of Thrones on HBO....no would I have seen the recent photos from the international space station. i found that I am frequently in pain....but life can still have joy (an the whole range of emotions) even when I am in pain. Thinking of you....
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"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” - Carl Rogers ___________________________________________ "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anais Nin |
| tigersassy
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#8
May 30, 2013, 07:15 AM
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Feel more bpd today than ever. Black and white thinking because of a situation at work that has me questioning whether I should turn it in higher or explain my concerns. Its also making me feel like management just wants me to half @$$ my job or they don't think I'm doing it right and instead of telling me they are having the other people cover it up. Feel like crap so much and am wondering if I should tell my therapist that I really think this is what is wrong with me but I don't want to sound like I'm trying to diagnose myself, but I just want to be better. So frustrated and its all coming back to me.
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PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin |
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#9
May 30, 2013, 11:38 PM
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I've been wanting to disappear for a very long time now, as in going away somewhere where nobody knows me. I've even told my boyfriend about it, but sense I don't have the resources, I can't really do much.
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| tigersassy
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| tigersassy
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#10
Jun 01, 2013, 01:07 AM
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I am so sorry you feel this way. I feel it a lot too. I tried drawing and it calmed me down for a bit but as soon as I stopped it all came back. I often think about being in the hospital so I can escape life for a while and people won't hold it against me for skipping out. This overwhelms me to think about being a mother some day, a responsibility that I can not escape.
Remember though, that you feel this way because of your mood. Hang in there. It goes away. 
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| tigersassy
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