How did you realize you were borderline?

How did you come to learn what part of you was borderline and what wasn't?
I'm thinking about how a few years back I would take all the suspicion and paranoia I felt about a person seriously and all my feelings in my mind were valid and whatever I thought the person had done was really true.

Now I understand that some things in my mind are real and others are not and that they are based on some sort of insecurity I can't always control.
I figure that in order to really get help you have to understand that you and those thoughts are separate or else you will just see any person telling you otherwise as a person trying to attack and invalidate you.

So I figure if you're here you know that some of your thoughts and feelings are irrational and not always in your control.
How did you realize this?

my frequent visits to the ER and doctors saw it on many occasions

I noticed that people didn't see things that way I saw them, they didn't understand why little things they said would hurt me so much. Then I saw myself getting very upset when people would leave my house, I felt like they weren't coming back, like they were leaving ME. Part of me just knew this wasn't how the people around me would react. I would be SO mad for no reason at all, and I knew that it didn't happen to the people around me. When people didn't write me back right away I would panic, even though I knew they were just busy. I knew these thoughts were irrational, but I couldn't stop them. I was different, I didn't know how, but I knew I was. So I went to get help.

.... when my ex-pdoc diagnosed me

Serious issues with abandonment and perceived abandonment that (almost always) I have completely fabricated in my own head. My Dr's have still switched back and fourth between BPD and PTSD so I guess no one is entirely sure. I recently had 1.5 years of respite from either and after a past trauma was reopened through a different experience, I have regressed....which could be a symptom of either PTSD or BPD.

I still haven't really realized it. I was told it once when I was in my twenties and was told it again recently when i went to a psych for possible adhd diagnosis advised by fam dr.
I read it in front of me bit still haven't really 'realized' it.

I was diagnosed with it quite some time ago, but I didn't actually realize it was true until I started seriously reading books and stuff about it within the past year or so.

When I almost ODed and the exit report said BPD which I thought was bipolar..... Instead of BPD like my psych said......

I had never even heard of BPD until about 16 months ago. I'm not officially full blown BPD; my official Dx is "personality disorder,NOS, with borderline and dependent features." I had no idea what the bleep that meant, so I did a lot of research. When I read about BPD specifically, I was shocked that I wasn't Dx'ed with full blown BPD because it described me to a "T." I thought of alot of different things in my life that could be attributed to that, but I wouldn't know where to start if I were to post a "list."

Well, I guess I could think of a few things:
1. I've had some pretty "turbulent" relationships, including friendships and family relations.
2. I get really anxious about people leaving me, but I have no problem with dumping people (friends or otherwise) at the drop of a hat--simply because they are no longer conveniant.
3. I do tend to see things as black and white--if someone is upset with me, I think they hate me for life; its hard for me to realize that they can still love me even if they're mad at me. (One time I got into an argument with a friend of mine, and we were pretty mad at each other for a while. Even while she was still mad at me, she did tell me that she still cared about me and said, "If you can't be mad at your friends, who can you mad at?" I still thought she hated me for life--but later she told me still wanted to be friends and could we please make up/ )
4. I've gotten myself into some pretty risky behaviors, such as heavy drinking, heavy smoking (up to 5 pax a day b4 I quit), promisicuous sex, etc. I still have a bad habit of getting myself into debt.
The list could go on, but I'll stop there.