I have read it/heard it here and there lately, from various sources that people with BPD are often attracted to or find themselves in a relationship with a narcissist. Mirroring it; the BPD person is said to be an easy target the narcissist can prey on.

I would be interested in your thoughts and some potential resources.

The thing is... I have become very suspicious that some of my partners whom I saw as solid, loving and caring people might have been narcissists, who NEEDED my ultimate adoration yet didn't hesitate to heartlessly cut me off with no mercy, no empathy whatsoever, the very second I became unable to feed their ego.

Any thoughts?

I dont' have any resources to speak of for you but I have thoughts.

I think the dynamic is there and is a very easy one to get trapped in. With one needing the blind devotion and almost idolatry and the other needing to put someone on a pedestal, so to speak, I just dont' think it's an uncommon thing. I, myself have not ended up in a romantic relationship such as this but I can see it happening.

I do, indeed sometimes end up with friends that are somewhat narcissistic though and it seems to work at first but for me at least, after awhile I tire of their endless self focus and self praise. I think it's what attracts me to these people at first but after the "new car smell" wears off, you start to see the real person and how they may not be really so great as they tout themselves to be.

As for easy prey. referring back to the beginning, I wouldn't necessarily call it that. I mean that kind of implies that a narcissist by nature is a predator and I don't think of them that way. The other thing is, the same as a narcissist needing one's adoration and unrelenting praise, the bpd also needs someone that will give them that focus so it's not really like the Narc. is preying on them but that it's a dynamic that works in both directions --- albeit only at first.

Idk if I'm being helpful or not but this is a good post... good to think about.

I've had one partner who without a doubt was a narcissist, another who I'm guessing was too, and friends who were/are.

[Phreak]

I'm currently in a relationship with somebody who has provisionally been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. She can be incredibly verbally abusive and used to be physically so.

No relationship is ideal.

There are a lot of simmilarities between my mother/sister and my gf also. Unfortunately baring further evidence to the freudian school of thought!

I just think that there are "professional loon magnets"... People who repeatedly end up with BPD partners... it IS a fact...
There's GOT to be a reason!
I don't think that we are some sort of a disease on the world - some people do choose us because we are brilliant and loving and easy to please and able to adore someone to the extent a non-BPD person isn't capable of.

My suggestion is that we might be a natural match for a narcissists...?

Please note... I believe that whatever crap (personality traits) we carry we are all ABLE to learn to develop proper, satisfying, devoted relationships.

[shortandcute]

Originally Posted by ashpile

I just think that there are "professional loon magnets"... People who repeatedly end up with BPD partners... it IS a fact...
There's GOT to be a reason!
I don't think that we are some sort of a disease on the world - some people do choose us because we are brilliant and loving and easy to please and able to adore someone to the extent a non-BPD person isn't capable of.

My suggestion is that we might be a natural match for a narcissists...?

Please note... I believe that whatever crap (personality traits) we carry we are all ABLE to learn to develop proper, satisfying, devoted relationships.

I can totally see what you're saying! Of course, I'm not an expert, but I can see how what you're saying could be right on. Some people seem to attract other certain people. I know for me, I'm not really 100% sure if anyone I was dating was narcisstic in particular, but just about all of them were real "needy" in some way or another--and they all needed their egos stroked. Of course, I was a perfect target because I would've done anything to have a man "love" (?) me. But then the other borderline part of me would come out--and make life hell for them. Unfortunatly, some of my friendships have been that way, also.