Really fighting the loneliness bug today. But the stupid thing is that I had options to go out tonight--two of them, actually--and I talked myself out of going to both of them. To be fair to myself, I woke up with a horrible headache which has been hanging on all day and hasn't really responded to any medication, so I don't really feel well enough to go out, but still. I am lonely, lamenting the fact that no one ever calls or checks up on me, that I haven't done much of anything this summer but work, that currently the people I have the most contact with are all online and barely even know my real name, and yet I bailed on the two options I had to be social with friends--albeit not very close friends at all, but still friends--tonight.

Anyone else ever do this? Do you ever find yourself so entrenched in your depression/stuck in your ways that it's almost just easier and more comfortable to be alone, no matter how desperately you want to be with other people?

[Poppy Princess]

I often do this kind of thing. I don't really have opportunities to socialize anymore though. I just lived in an isolated shell. It get kind of sad and lonely. I have a wife but sometimes I'd like friends too. She doesn't really have friends either but she never seems to care.

Originally Posted by Poppy Princess

I often do this kind of thing. I don't really have opportunities to socialize anymore though. I just lived in an isolated shell. It get kind of sad and lonely. I have a wife but sometimes I'd like friends too. She doesn't really have friends either but she never seems to care.

I'm pretty isolated too. I have three friends but I'm getting to the point where I rarely see them; they don't really contact me, I have to contact them if I want to see them. If it wasn't for work, I would probably never speak to anyone other than my T and pdoc, which is why I can never ever be on disability for my illness. My life would quickly disintegrate; it would make me exponentially worse very quickly.

I was always a very social person, involved in lots of activities and things. I think of how my life used to be even just five years ago--I had places to go and people to go with. I always had to be doing something. The desire to do things and be active hasn't changed but I don't really have people to do things with. I know I'm probably contradicting what I said in my original post, that I had opportunities just tonight, but going out with acquaintances from Meetup.com isn't the same as having a core group of people you can call up when you want to go to a ballgame, the beach, to a concert, or just out to dinner. It just makes me so sad to think about what my life has become and how lonely it is compared to how it used to be.

[TheRealFDeal]

I would absolutely talk myself out of going to a meetup.com event. Anyplace where there's a lot of people I don't know, I would talk myself out of going. I hate being alone without any options. The only time I am regularly with people is at work, like you, but your work demands that you be social, while I can easily stay in my office all day with little contact except email. It's very sad.

[AnnaBegins]

I feel this way all the time. My friends will invite me to go someplace and most of the time I get into a complete panic thinking about how I won't fit in or how my act will slip and they'll see the real me and end up talking myself out of it. Then I'll stay home and feel isolated and lonely and wonder why none of my friends are there for me. But, instead of picking up the phone and calling them, I'll tell myself that it's not right to bother them with my junk and that it's not fair of me to expect them to put up with me when I can barely put up with myself. Which makes me feel even more isolated and lonely.

Lather, rinse, repeat...

[Ultra Darkness]

I'm a remarkably social person if I can get past the anxiety and awkwardness. But I make little effort to be with people, and usually don't want to socialize. Then I see people having a good time and I'll be lonely and depressed for days...