[deelooted]

I have read the symptoms of BPD and got chills...this could be me.

I have been to five different pdocs in the last two months, and they are all over the place with my diagnosis... just look in my signature I quit my meds and blow them off within 2 weeks, maybe three.

The last one I went to see last week did not tell me what her diagnosis is, and just gave me meds and instructions on titrating up with a call to her first. So far so good...but now I wonder about the diagnosis she has.

From eighteen up to twenty-nine I had close to 80 different sex partners. I have been fired from every job because I got sick of my coworkers rather quickly... and the customers... and the job.

I self-medicated with pot, pills, and alcohol for over 20 years. Oh the havoc I have caused!

I join groups when elated, cut them off when I am down. UP and down, UP and down goes my life. And if I cannot get out for whatever reasons, I freak out. And then regret getting out a little while later.

I think I will ask my pdoc at my next appointment... she is a psych nurse, too, with over 30 years experience and the best I have been to so far.

Wow, what a ride

[deelooted]

HA! I just took the BPD test here at Psych Central and scored 36 Definitely going to talk with my pdoc about this at my next appt. Sheesh!

Start thinking about bipolar as well. The ups and down and ups agsin

Sent from my C5170 using Tapatalk 2

[deelooted]

Originally Posted by jeffro1972

Start thinking about bipolar as well. The ups and down and ups agsin

Sent from my C5170 using Tapatalk 2

Thank you for the insight, jeffro. Just got off the phone with my pdoc... it is confirmed- Bipolar I and Borderline Personality Disorder. But feeling better

[UnderTheRose]

axis 1 bipolar, axis 2 bpd -- my official, HOWEVER they didnt tell me that, i found out be asking for a copy of my psych report.
It is a hard diagnosis in many cases because as my psych said when we talked about it, i could be at the low spectrum of Bipolar2 and my BPD causes my hyper-happy over reactions when feeling hypomanic and causes my angry over reactions when im dysphoric, he actually said that one day its likely that there will be an official link to the two, with bpd as a --cyclothymic or dysphoric variant of bipolar or vice versa (oh god dont quote me on that, lol.. we talked alot and that was the general sense i got of it)

taking Divalproex now, and hoping to stick with it and see how it goes. He wanted to use only one med at a time to be sure that we were treating me and not side effects.

Seems that those two are very comorbid bipolar and bpd.. CANT be just a coincidence can it?

[deelooted]

Originally Posted by UnderTheRose

axis 1 bipolar, axis 2 bpd -- my official, HOWEVER they didnt tell me that, i found out be asking for a copy of my psych report.
It is a hard diagnosis in many cases because as my psych said when we talked about it, i could be at the low spectrum of Bipolar2 and my BPD causes my hyper-happy over reactions when feeling hypomanic and causes my angry over reactions when im dysphoric, he actually said that one day its likely that there will be an official link to the two, with bpd as a --cyclothymic or dysphoric variant of bipolar or vice versa (oh god dont quote me on that, lol.. we talked alot and that was the general sense i got of it)

taking Divalproex now, and hoping to stick with it and see how it goes. He wanted to use only one med at a time to be sure that we were treating me and not side effects.

Seems that those two are very comorbid bipolar and bpd.. CANT be just a coincidence can it?

Not much is a coincidence in my book

Very cool you sharing, thank you so much... I hope the Divalproex works for you. My pdoc said last night the same- these two are very commonly comorbid (after I asked for her diagnosis of me!). My brother has the same diagnosis, as well. Lithium and Seroquel worked for him, but not for me.

I am finding the Zyprexa to be a God-send, really. I have not felt this relaxed since my pot-smoking days...and all without the exacerbation of my psychosis

Blessings to you and I hope you can get some relief of your symptoms, as well

[UnderTheRose]

i might try something else in the future but meds are sooo hard for me to take. i am sure that everything i take will cause me to have every single side effect. took me months just to get up to taking the divalproex. i used to love pot. a LOT but the panic attacks were insane!!! Glad that you are getting some answers

[deelooted]

Originally Posted by UnderTheRose

i might try something else in the future but meds are sooo hard for me to take. i am sure that everything i take will cause me to have every single side effect. took me months just to get up to taking the divalproex. i used to love pot. a LOT but the panic attacks were insane!!! Glad that you are getting some answers

Oh wow, you are telling me! I used to smoke so much pot/hash to cope, but all it did was drive my mania through the solar system and beyond!! Totally bonkers

Glad to hear you are at least giving a med a try, you never know, could be the one

[UnderTheRose]

Hi! Just bumping this up hoping you'll see it.. how are things going for you with the new meds/diagnosis?

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Originally Posted by deelooted

Thank you for the insight, jeffro. Just got off the phone with my pdoc... it is confirmed- Bipolar I and Borderline Personality Disorder. But feeling better

For me having the right diagnosis finally was like this ray of sunshine from heaven. I felt that I could finally get the right meds and the right treatment. I am so much better than I was 2 years ago it is hard to believe that I used to be "that person". Not that I don't have my moments, but not near as often and not near as bad. One thing I will say, you can't cure this issue by pouring alcohol on it (or abusing other substances). You just can't. I have been sober for 2 years and I believe that has played a huge roll in my recovery. An my AA group is a wonderful anchor for me. Praying that you will soon be better.

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413

For me having the right diagnosis finally was like this ray of sunshine from heaven. I felt that I could finally get the right meds and the right treatment. I am so much better than I was 2 years ago it is hard to believe that I used to be "that person". Not that I don't have my moments, but not near as often and not near as bad. One thing I will say, you can't cure this issue by pouring alcohol on it (or abusing other substances). You just can't. I have been sober for 2 years and I believe that has played a huge roll in my recovery. An my AA group is a wonderful anchor for me. Praying that you will soon be better.

I agree with finding the right Dx. I mean I don't have any treatment right now or meds currently. but.. even without all that it has helped me to understand the way that I am and I have grown from just that. I understand why and how I do things and even though I haven't totally mastered my behaviors, I have gotten better..

[UnderTheRose]

I'm still on the divalproex but had such a bad panic attack today-- i was SURE my liver was failing. My DBT group started up a few days ago so hoping that i can just go med free. Though my thoughts have def calmed since being on the medication.

Originally Posted by UnderTheRose

I'm still on the divalproex but had such a bad panic attack today-- i was SURE my liver was failing. My DBT group started up a few days ago so hoping that i can just go med free. Though my thoughts have def calmed since being on the medication.

Well the meds do help really. But for me it wasn't that they didn't work, it was that the trade off wasn't worth it. With Depakote, sure it helped but at the same time I felt less emotional and not in a good way. I mean kind of lacking in that way I felt halfway there all the time emotionally, like it wasn't me. I know this is not necessarily the case with everyone, so don't think I'm saying it's all bad... this is ONLY my personal experience and preference.

[deelooted]

Still adding pills by the week to try to find the right balance, pdoc confirmed the BPD and bipolar 1 diagnosis yesterday.

I am feeling a little depressed after taming the mania, and it has lingered for a week or so. Pdoc threw bupropion, prozac and ativan to help, and it is lifting me up a little...still able to fake the funk at work, but not too well.

I try taking short walks around the park, watch the little creek water go by and it soothes me for a little bit, but still feeling very dull and disconnected.

At least I am not manic, my pdoc said! yay. I want my life back.

Dee, I get a little depressed when I'm coming off of a mania too. I think it's just our brains trying to level out

Sent from my C5170 using Tapatalk 2

[poptart316]

Originally Posted by deelooted

I have read the symptoms of BPD and got chills...this could be me.

I have been to five different pdocs in the last two months, and they are all over the place with my diagnosis... just look in my signature I quit my meds and blow them off within 2 weeks, maybe three.

The last one I went to see last week did not tell me what her diagnosis is, and just gave me meds and instructions on titrating up with a call to her first. So far so good...but now I wonder about the diagnosis she has.

From eighteen up to twenty-nine I had close to 80 different sex partners. I have been fired from every job because I got sick of my coworkers rather quickly... and the customers... and the job.

I self-medicated with pot, pills, and alcohol for over 20 years. Oh the havoc I have caused!

I join groups when elated, cut them off when I am down. UP and down, UP and down goes my life. And if I cannot get out for whatever reasons, I freak out. And then regret getting out a little while later.

I think I will ask my pdoc at my next appointment... she is a psych nurse, too, with over 30 years experience and the best I have been to so far.

Wow, what a ride

I'm confused about my diagnoses as well.. I've been diagnosed with bi polar, social anxiety, substance abuse problems to marijuana (which is complete bs, I barely smoke, like maybe 3 times a year)) I was also diagnosed with borderline personality disorder but my last therapist said she didn't think I had it and the only diagnoses from that place was social anxiety and the substance abuse problem, again not ****ing true.. but I wasn't diagnosed with bi polar or bpd. I'm going to talk about it with my next doctor.. lay out ALL my diagnoses on the table and ask them to decide what it is and isn't.

[deelooted]

I totally feel you, Jeffro, as this is very much the same with me. I am just hoping for it to clear sooner than later, as depression is not conducive to my work. But the mania is! lol

Poptart- I feel ya, too... I just wish it was clearly laid out and the plan to help was obvious... guess not, in this field of work I think, however, no matter the diagnosis, the symptoms are very close for scizoaffective-bipolar-BPD... almost the same in many ways, so I think it is hard for the pdocs to get it right in the beginning of treatment. You would think that after some months, thought, that they could pin-point it a little bit better.

Update - Had some good days last week, but a trigger pushed me back in to depression. Been stuck there for nearly a week. My ADs must still need more time, or it is time to try something different. Have another week before my next appointment, I cannot wait, as I trust my pdoc so much, she is the best!

[allme]

Originally Posted by deelooted

I totally feel you, Jeffro, as this is very much the same with me. I am just hoping for it to clear sooner than later, as depression is not conducive to my work. But the mania is! lol

Poptart- I feel ya, too... I just wish it was clearly laid out and the plan to help was obvious... guess not, in this field of work I think, however, no matter the diagnosis, the symptoms are very close for scizoaffective-bipolar-BPD... almost the same in many ways, so I think it is hard for the pdocs to get it right in the beginning of treatment. You would think that after some months, thought, that they could pin-point it a little bit better.

Update - Had some good days last week, but a trigger pushed me back in to depression. Been stuck there for nearly a week. My ADs must still need more time, or it is time to try something different. Have another week before my next appointment, I cannot wait, as I trust my pdoc so much, she is the best!

Hiya! Glad you had some god days! Just sucks how easily we can be thrown the other way Sorry you are in a depression at the minute, you already know this, but it will lift ....sending hugs until then

[deelooted]

Originally Posted by allme

Hiya! Glad you had some god days! Just sucks how easily we can be thrown the other way Sorry you are in a depression at the minute, you already know this, but it will lift ....sending hugs until then

Thank you so much for the encouragement, AllME, much appreciated. Boy, you said it- how easily we can be thrown the other way indeed!

Today has been a little bit better, as I upped my day-time dose of Trazodone a bit and that seemed to help now up to 50mg 3x in the day, and 200mg at night for the best sleep I guess I am lucky because the 50mg dose does not zonk me out, it mellows me out nicely with little to no anxiety.

Less stressful at work, too, as I am done pretty soon. Too much for me to handle

My boss told me yesterday that if I was not quitting in 3 weeks like I am, she would have gotten rid of me a long time ago! We have an amazing relationship- business and personal mixed together, and we made it work I think because we are both extremely honest people. And it is a non-profit serving the homeless and low-income, so we already have pretty open hearts.

So, here's to flipping the other way again, and hopefully sooner than later!

[deelooted]

Originally Posted by poptart316

I'm confused about my diagnoses as well.. I've been diagnosed with bi polar, social anxiety, substance abuse problems to marijuana (which is complete bs, I barely smoke, like maybe 3 times a year)) I was also diagnosed with borderline personality disorder but my last therapist said she didn't think I had it and the only diagnoses from that place was social anxiety and the substance abuse problem, again not ****ing true.. but I wasn't diagnosed with bi polar or bpd. I'm going to talk about it with my next doctor.. lay out ALL my diagnoses on the table and ask them to decide what it is and isn't.

Hugs to you PopTart, I think you have an excellent plan. I hope the next doctor is a great listener and hears you well