Why me?

Sometimes I just hate my life in every way.

Tonight is one of those times.

what's wrong?

I just feel like nothing I do is good enough, and when I try to explain why I feel like that, my explanations not good enough, and I feel stupid and more not good enough, and I just want someone in my life to be able to be there always, and not just when I'm having a good day, but as it stands, nobody is around always, so I'm stuck in this land of not knowing who I am or where to go or what to do or how to feel and I just hate it.

Aw (((((((((((((((IGotThis)))))))))))))))))

I so understand, I never feel good enough either. It's like everyone around me has it so sussed and 'seem' so confident. It just sucks feeling so inferior all the time and trying to live up to other's perceived expectations. All so tiring. I would just like once for someone to say 'hey you know what, you're ok and you ARE good enough and here's a hug' But that never happens so instead I manipulate ppl to try and get that reaction. All so childish but yes, deep down it's the child craving such love and recognition.

So you know what, you ARE good enough and you ARE ok, it's just you that can't see it

I have always said I feel like some strange combination of Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger... Emotional range of a teaspoon, yet somehow has the emotional range of a bottomless pit, but is also very controlled until I go all "oppugno" with tiny yellow birds because I just can't hold it all anymore.... I don't know if that made any sense...

(Ps- hugs are my favorite, because nobody can judge you for feeling like a four year old. Everybody hugs the same... Only kids do it better...)

I guess the only thing that helps me sometimes is to realize that the only person you're going to have at the end of the day is yourself. What makes you happy? Just try to do that to distract yourself. Personally animals and books make me happy. But I know the feeling. Sometimes the darkness just has you for the night and it's hard to pull yourself out of it.

Do you have anyone that you can just spend time with without judgment? Mother, father, a sibling, etc.?

You don't have to be good enough for anyone except yourself. So work on that first, that's my advice.

My problem is, I don't even feel good enough for myself... Dance and kids make me happy usually, but at random hours of the night, I can't really dance, and kids are in bed... I still live at home with my parents (I'm 19), so whatever I do to calm down has to be quiet in my bedroom... And they don't understand that when I say I want to do ____ when I freak out, it's not just because... They always just say "just don't freak out and you won't have that problem" (please refer to the picture above for how those conversations usually go)...

Usually I go to my dance teacher for those moments, but I can't after 9:30, so I kind of get stuck in this world of just feeling too much and being trapped with nowhere to go and nothing to do..

I know. Neither do I most of the time. But you have to try anyway.

If you're feeling like that at night perhaps just try going to sleep and do whatever it is you want to do the next day. The nights are the worst. I don't handle it very well but I am trying.

I am on 4 different medicines to help me sleep, because I get myself so worked up I can't relax enough to sleep until my body just gives up, but it often takes hours on end...

I also have problems sleeping, either to anxous and sad or too hyped. Or simply because I work at home and don't expel enough energy other than few minutes here and there on exercise bike!

SO my old faithful friend Zopiclone helps out

Nothing seems to be working for me on it, although things are so unstable with me anyways, they are trying not to rock the boat too much by continually changing them.

Sorry I can't help you then. Good luck.