I'd mentioned before that I had a coworker that seemed as though he ws noticing a bit too much about my behavior at the work place, as a quick reminder I'm talkign about the one that made the comment about the times I arrive at work and gave me the warning about being 15 min late and such.. anyway

My feelings have been further confirmed about this person of late. Ok so he helped me to get my license stuff out of the way and on that day I was able to get a permit for the car to drive it temporarily til I got the inspection and then i could get the plate. Well I haven't been able to just yet which is Friday when I'll be able to do allthat. but all this time been driving with the temporary permit.

I passed him this morning as he was walking to the building and I dreaded him noticing that my plate was still absent as you can guess I was worried about him further commenting on my life and behaviors and all. Well on the way to the bathroom he was walking by and paused but then didn not say anything. we just said hi and then he paused before walking on.. I could tell he had something he wanted to say.

Later, like an hour or so he hits me up on the chat in the office. out of the blue 'were you able to manage to get your inspection straightened out?' I was like "no that's friday i'll take care of it" The part that bothers me is it makes me feel further watched by this guy I mean if it were me it would be none of my business unless I was shared this information. he added "yah you don't want to be driving around without a plate for too long." Honestly it makes me feel very paranoid.

he's an older guy approaching 60. On the one hand he's very nice and has helped me but it just feels like he's the type of guy that is possibly controlling and dominating type person if you let him. I'm sure intentions are ok but it's just kind of intrusive. Really I mean I'm in my 40s and I do NOT NEED ANOTHER FATHER!

/done rant

[cboxpalace]

If I was in your situation I'd feel paranoid too, but i'm not so I'll give an opinion. Hoepfully, it will ease you. Had he not helped you get your license stuff out of the way he probably never would've noticed or paid attention to it. His statement, the way you write it, comes across more as if he's just making conversation and possibly looking out for your best interest.

[allme]

Yes I tend to agree with above post but on the other hand he could be a nosey old so and so. Have worked with plenty of them in the past! Ppl can get too familiar once they have been let into your life even if for a little bit.

Originally Posted by cboxpalace

If I was in your situation I'd feel paranoid too, but i'm not so I'll give an opinion. Hoepfully, it will ease you. Had he not helped you get your license stuff out of the way he probably never would've noticed or paid attention to it. His statement, the way you write it, comes across more as if he's just making conversation and possibly looking out for your best interest.

possibly but if not an isolated incident and mind you it wasn't a conversation starter. after that he said nothing more and other times does not come and chat with me so it's like it was a targeted comment if you know what I mean. I'm not making a big deal out of it, just mildly bothered me.

[IndieVisible]

Often try to employ humor in situations like that. Sometimes it goes over well, sometimes it back fires because it wasn't funny or didn't really apply. Stuff like that would bother me too and frankly would bother anyone! If your comfortable with humor, you can try that to defuse the situation.

[cboxpalace]

Gotcha! That makes sense.. That would irritate me as well... I've also worked with people like that in the past and they tend to be two faced. At least in my situations.

[GeorgiaGirl413]

don't overthink it and don't give him anymore info then needed. A simple "thanks" when he wants to give advice.,,

Originally Posted by cboxpalace

Gotcha! That makes sense.. That would irritate me as well... I've also worked with people like that in the past and they tend to be two faced. At least in my situations.

That's what I'm afraid of. the Two Faced thing.

[yellowfrog268]

I've had coworkers who behaved in similar fashion. Acting almost as though they had some sort of supervisory authority (like they have the right to comment on your habits or behaviours) but stopping just short of going too far.

All I can say is be ready with a polite but firm response should he cross that line.

[Edda]

Edda sighs...

I can strongly relate. I find that after performing a doubtlessly kind act or a favour, many "helpers" think themselves somewhat above you and feel they have the right to be nosey, patronizing and frankly, blatantly invading your privacy in rather insensitive ways.

My best guess is that helping you served a need in him; in other words, your worries about the guy being two-faced is probably rather well founded.

Edited to add; I would keep up clear boundaries.

Originally Posted by Edda

Edda sighs...

I can strongly relate. I find that after performing a doubtlessly kind act or a favour, many "helpers" think themselves somewhat above you and feel they have the right to be nosey, patronizing and frankly, blatantly invading your privacy in rather insensitive ways.

My best guess is that helping you served a need in him; in other words, your worries about the guy being two-faced is probably rather well founded.

Edited to add; I would keep up clear boundaries.

I completely agree with you with people that are overly helpful. In general it's been pretty consistent (not all but most) that I find those people that seem to act the most helpful use it as a means to meddle and lord it over you, but the sickening part of that is that they do it just short of being overt remaining just under the radar taht would set off alarms at the boundaries of being unacceptable.