[lifelies]

I can't handle this anymore.
I just can't.
I want to kill everybody this is horrible.
I can't get help.
My mother is schizophrenic.
My father is bipolar.
I am DID and BPD and Bipolar.
And I can't get treatment.
I can't get help.

My mother doesn't let me live.
She is spying me.
She controls me.
She asks people to follow me.
She sees everything I do.
She makes me do bad things so she can punish me later
She makes me hate my father so she can keep punishing me.

I just need to get help
I want to kill her
I want to cut my whole body and go to the ER to get help.

Nobody cares about us.

You need to tell someone about your urges asap!! You need help

[pegasus]

((((((( lifelies ))))))) Do you have a mental health professional you can talk to? Cutting yourself is not a good idea but going to ER anyway would be a good idea and you can tell them how you feel.

[IGotThis]

Originally Posted by lifelies

I can't handle this anymore.
I just can't.
I want to kill everybody this is horrible.
I can't get help.
My mother is schizophrenic.
My father is bipolar.
I am DID and BPD and Bipolar.
And I can't get treatment.
I can't get help.

My mother doesn't let me live.
She is spying me.
She controls me.
She asks people to follow me.
She sees everything I do.
She makes me do bad things so she can punish me later
She makes me hate my father so she can keep punishing me.

I just need to get help
I want to kill her
I want to cut my whole body and go to the ER to get help.

Nobody cares about us.

I am so terribly sorry you are feeling this way.. Can you just go to the ER without cutting yourself first? I am glad to see you are at least posting on here for help, but I'm sorry to say that I don't know that we can offer the kind of help you may need... I know I don't know you, but for what it's worth, I love you, and I am praying that you will get through this and come out stronger... You can do this!!

[lifelies]

I felt really bad a few hours ago that I couldn't even come here to post.

I constanly have identity problems. I can't recognize if this is me or I'm another alter. The differences between an alter or I being in control are now gone. I can't realize if I'm writing this or it's another alter.

Perhaps I don't have any alters at all and I just have another thing... Only thinking about alters make me feel overwhelmed and tired.

I could listen two people/alters talking to me last night. I don't know if this is starting to borderline psychosis or I may be schizophrenic, because my mother definitely has schizophrenia or some other psychotic disorder and my father has bipolar disorder. Both disorders are likely to be inherited so...

I can't see a psychiatrist. I'm not allowed to. Remember I'm underage, and here you need your parents to see a doctor.
Since Spain became a poor country, they fired all the psychiatrists from ERs. Now there are only psychiatrist at hospitals. And they closed the hospital in my town. So my only chance is to really harm myself and go to the ER to later be sent to an hospital and see a psychiatrist.

If you go to an ER talking about suicidal thoughts but you don't have any physical damnage, they will refer you to the hospital's (it's ~30 min. by car from here) psychiatrist, hence I will need my parents.

But if it's a physical emergency, I wouldn't need them...

I hope you understood.
Hugs,
Toim

Can you catch a train to the other hospital? I understand it must be really hard for you but there must be some other way to get help other than hurting yourself. Can you phone the hospital and talk to the psychiatrist and let them know whats going on and that you really need some help?

[allme]

Do you have a friend that could take you?

[IGotThis]

I can see where you would have trouble with the underage thing, but your parents would probably end up more involved if you hurt yourself bad enough to have to go... Trust me, I know how it is to avoid your parents, as when I went in, my dance teacher took me.... That being said, if you go in in the mental state you are in, and tell them exactly what you said here, they will more than likely take you seriously enough to admit you the same way as if you had hurt yourself and gone in that way... I would definitely see if a close friend would be willing to take you, and more importantly, sit through it with you if you need it... It's tough going through all of this, but I know you can get through it!!

[Russhell]

I have DID and BPD. Plus other junk. I wrote my suicide note tonight to my kids and cut and burned today, cried most the day so I know where you are at but I just read on this web sight --wait another day to die.

[Edda]

Originally Posted by lifelies

I felt really bad a few hours ago that I couldn't even come here to post.

I constanly have identity problems. I can't recognize if this is me or I'm another alter. The differences between an alter or I being in control are now gone. I can't realize if I'm writing this or it's another alter.

Perhaps I don't have any alters at all and I just have another thing... Only thinking about alters make me feel overwhelmed and tired.

I could listen two people/alters talking to me last night. I don't know if this is starting to borderline psychosis or I may be schizophrenic, because my mother definitely has schizophrenia or some other psychotic disorder and my father has bipolar disorder. Both disorders are likely to be inherited so...

I can't see a psychiatrist. I'm not allowed to. Remember I'm underage, and here you need your parents to see a doctor.
Since Spain became a poor country, they fired all the psychiatrists from ERs. Now there are only psychiatrist at hospitals. And they closed the hospital in my town. So my only chance is to really harm myself and go to the ER to later be sent to an hospital and see a psychiatrist.

If you go to an ER talking about suicidal thoughts but you don't have any physical damnage, they will refer you to the hospital's (it's ~30 min. by car from here) psychiatrist, hence I will need my parents.

But if it's a physical emergency, I wouldn't need them...

I hope you understood.
Hugs,
Toim

I am aware that this is a late response and I sincerely hope that you are safe.

I understand the predicament you are in and that you probably don't want to go against your parents but if you are suicidal and your parents refuse to ensure that you get the help you need, then call a child-line or whatever is available for you. It would be extremely tragic if you had to harm yourself just to be seen by the right kind of doctor.

It is very sad indeed that your parents don't seem to cooperate.