I miss all you guys here at the BPD forum! I feel bad and like I should check in more often. Love you all

[atomicc]

Well. I had a breakdown today. I made my boyfriend brownies as a surprise because they're his favorite, but well there's two kinds..cakey and fudgey I know which one he likes. I guess my idiot brain just messed it up. So he took one bite and told me I did them wrong and he doesn't like this.
Immediately I became enraged and cried hysterically because I did it just to make him happy and all he did was criticize. When he messes up something little I never ever say anything. I take it and tell him he's amazing.
It hurt me a lot so I cried for twenty minutes and the voice in my head kept saying I mess up every little thing and should just kill myself. He eventually apologized but I had to take a xanax and a two hour nap to calm down.:/

I'm sorry the brownies didn't go down well i hate being criticised for stuff too and it makes me feel pathetic. It was mean of him though to say he didn't like them when you did them just for him!

You'll be ok though, you are strong

[Blue_velvet09]

I'm in hell right now. I am splitting hardcore from my boyfriend right now. Why am I in a relationship? I can't handle this, I can't be in a normal stable relationship. I'm too selfish, too moody. I'm just waiting for the day he gets sick of me and leaves me. I'm just so tempted to tell him to gtfo and down a bottle of vodka but I'm on lexpro and abilify so I can't numb the pain right now. Why can't I fill this empty hole...

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[Withered-Rose79]

Doing the best I can, but my kids deserve so much better. Feeling ashamed right now...

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[atomicc]

And the icing on the cake, Columbia rejected me for grad school. Now I have no faith I'll get into my other school. Cried for a full hour and cut myself.
Wish I wasn't stupid and going no where. I'm nothing. I am contemplating suicide.

[Verity81]

Originally Posted by atomicc

And the icing on the cake, Columbia rejected me for grad school. Now I have no faith I'll get into my other school. Cried for a full hour and cut myself.
Wish I wasn't stupid and going no where. I'm nothing. I am contemplating suicide.

Do something to distract yourself from these intense feelings now. Do you have a distress tolerance list of specific skills that help?

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Originally Posted by atomicc

And the icing on the cake, Columbia rejected me for grad school. Now I have no faith I'll get into my other school. Cried for a full hour and cut myself.
Wish I wasn't stupid and going no where. I'm nothing. I am contemplating suicide.

Don't lose hope. Just because one school didn't accept you doesn't mean the other one won't. You really aren't nothing. You're a beautiful young woman with so much life ahead of you. You can get through this.

[trying2survive]

another breakdown last night, i think my ex hates me, i hate me. i don't know why i even bothered to wake up this morning. she acts like she doesn't care anymore, i got super drunk last night, passed out and almost set my kitchen on fire trying to cook while drunk, maybe i should have died last night, at least i wouldn't be hurting anymore, i feel like giving up..

[trying2survive]

so i talked to my ex this morning and i feel all better, like nothing happened.
d*mn i hate these mood swings, they're so intense and i can't control it.
one little thing sets me off, this really sucks..now i feel great & feel like an idiot for my prior post

[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by shezbut

I feel as though I have been through 50 intense moods today... it's crazy! The intensity is what drives me mad, really. And how my mind is entirely stuck in that moment. UGH! It's a significant understatement ~ but you can get the gist, I am sure. My feeling at this moment is frustration with myself for being so doggone intense. Jeeeez!

absolutely, i'm going through it now. and it seems like that one moment will never end!

[Withered-Rose79]

Originally Posted by trying2survive

so i talked to my ex this morning and i feel all better, like nothing happened.

d*mn i hate these mood swings, they're so intense and i can't control it.

one little thing sets me off, this really sucks..now i feel great & feel like an idiot for my prior post

Glad you're feeling better. The uncontrollable mood swings often get the best of me as well. No need to feel like an idiot, we've all experienced similar feelings and understand.

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[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by Withered-Rose79

Glad you're feeling better. The uncontrollable mood swings often get the best of me as well. No need to feel like an idiot, we've all experienced similar feelings and understand.

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thank you so much, i needed that.sure would be nice if i could control it though

[Espresso]

I almost had a major issue yesterday, but thankfully it was worked out.

[snarkydaddy]

That massive sinking feeling that what you believed was mistaken.

In fact the relaxation that deceived you yourself into believing something that was not true

Ugh

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[waggiedog]

Why are you feeling disgusted with yourself hun? xx

Originally Posted by Espresso

I'm disgusted with myself.

[waggiedog]

Hay, snap. I've watched ''My mad fat diart'' and had the farrier to the horses!!!! We have things in common and BPD maybe. xxx

Originally Posted by Britneigh

Feeling pretty good today. I holed up in my room for a day and watched My Mad Fat Diary for a while, finished both seasons....oops.

But today I'm feeling pretty good. Have some running around to do, and the farrier is coming to do the horses feet. But i'm actually feeling some what happy. I like it haha.

[waggiedog]

Originally Posted by Verity81

Going to my second DBT group today. Am still a bit nervous so going to finish painting the bathroom to loud rock music before I go!

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Hello. I'm BPD and doing a STEPPS/DBT one to one and group each weeks. I am def finding it helpful, though difficult to get myself there when suicidally depressed ~ I'm pushing forward. HUGS. xx

[snarkydaddy]

Meh what a messed up morning

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new thread is here http://forums.psychcentral.com/borde...hread-4-a.html

[Verity81]

Originally Posted by trying2survive

so i talked to my ex this morning and i feel all better, like nothing happened.

d*mn i hate these mood swings, they're so intense and i can't control it.

one little thing sets me off, this really sucks..now i feel great & feel like an idiot for my prior post

Glad you feel better, are you able to have an emergency list of skills you keep with you at all times that you can go to when the waves hit?

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[Verity81]

Good day out with family, feel so tired and going swimming tomorrow morning with sister in law as well as cooking Sunday dinner phew!

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[leomama]

Originally Posted by snarkydaddy

Meh what a messed up morning

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It wasn't all bad, c'mon now.

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[leomama]

Originally Posted by snarkydaddy

That massive sinking feeling that what you believed was mistaken.

In fact the relaxation that deceived you yourself into believing something that was not true

Ugh

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That's some serious business. What are you talking about?

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[snarkydaddy]

Originally Posted by leomama

It wasn't all bad, c'mon now.

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I was only speaking for myself of course...it was not a good morning

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