[sheiba]

I am newly diagnosed BPD high functioning, but my husband has some real issues with rage and anger where i am more passive hes so happy now because he says its been my fault hes that way even though he has no friends his kids couldnt wait to move away from him even camping he would yell at all of us we coward in the front room waiting for him to cool down kids never wanted to go with their dad he would say such means things to them so i was almost always there to stand up for them but he now turns it around and says its my BPD wanting to protect my kids so he would get mad at me.. ?????????????????????????? I am so confused now....what do I believe????

Are you also the cause of global warming and infant dying around the world??

He seems out of line (IMO).

[technigal]

I am newly diagnosed and high functioning as well (at least they tell me I am high functioning, I am not so sure).

I have to agree with useless me. He seems like a bully to me.

[GeorgiaGirl413]

I am high functioning BPD as well. Your husband sounds like a bully and an abuser. This guy needs some help as do you. Quite frankly, if I were you, I'd get away from him. But that's just me.

Absolutely, agree. Who do you believe? You believe the person who is cowering away from the one who's blaming you for everything. That would be you.

He's a bully.

[sheiba]

Thanks so much everyone...I guess I am learning that BPD"s(me) blame other people instead of taking resposibility, so i am confused am I just not taking responsibility.. but today i wrote 4 pages for my T it is like an epiphany,, but something really weird happened last week... I calmly packed a bag and told him I had to leave..I have never done this ever... we have been married over 30 years and I was so tired of being blamed for his depression and his unhappy life i just couldnt take it anymore,,, he was enraged!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean throwing stuff spitting in my face yelling so hard...I mean he has these uncontrollable outbursts and they are getting more and more intense. and more frequent this last year...he says I make him that way going to T next week

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Originally Posted by sheiba

Thanks so much everyone...I guess I am learning that BPD"s(me) blame other people instead of taking resposibility, so i am confused am I just not taking responsibility.. but today i wrote 4 pages for my T it is like an epiphany,, but something really weird happened last week... I calmly packed a bag and told him I had to leave..I have never done this ever... we have been married over 30 years and I was so tired of being blamed for his depression and his unhappy life i just couldnt take it anymore,,, he was enraged!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean throwing stuff spitting in my face yelling so hard...I mean he has these uncontrollable outbursts and they are getting more and more intense. and more frequent this last year...he says I make him that way going to T next week

You are right the BPD's may have a hard time taking responsibility for their own actions, or seeing there part in a disagreement, but...this man is his own kind of crazy. In fact, he may be BPD himself. You aren't making hime this way. In fact, HE is refusing to take responsibility for HIS actions. And what about the way he treated his children? Seriously, this is not your fault. As I said before, I would be so outta there. You, dear, are being abused.

[technigal]

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413

You are right the BPD's may have a hard time taking responsibility for their own actions, or seeing there part in a disagreement, but...this man is his own kind of crazy. In fact, he may be BPD himself. You aren't making hime this way. In fact, HE is refusing to take responsibility for HIS actions. And what about the way he treated his children? Seriously, this is not your fault. As I said before, I would be so outta there. You, dear, are being abused.

What GG said.

Originally Posted by technigal

What GG said.

Yep sure seems like a complicated issue. I think if you both really love one another you both can get through this and become better people, maybe you both go to T together if possible?? Get everything out in the open, clear the air.

[Beyond The Pale]

I have a lot of rage issues myself but I direct it inward. When I first read this I thought either he was and abuser or BPD himself. Now that he has someone else to blame it may get worse? I wish you all the best. If you have been married for 30 years though I assume you really care for him. Maybe talk him into going with you to therapy with you. Using the pretext of helping you more may get that ball rolling? Maybe if he sees that therapy is not that bad... I do know that for men, to be seen as weak is not a good thing. We have to keep appearances to even ourselves. My T says a lot of men just ignore the issues because of this...

[sheiba]

Thank you everyone! I spoked to my T yesterday and told him everything, , it is complicated but I am going to try and get him into T even if he thinks its just for me I felt such relief to tell my T Thank you all so much!!!!!!