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#1
Oct 26, 2013, 08:34 AM
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I'm wondering.... Do you view your online friends as much more disposable than your IRL friends?
I feel like I've been used a few times (not by anyone here  )Maybe sometimes I messed up enough to "deserve" to be dumped.... but other times not. and I was left wondering if those ever cared, as they said they did  Is it easy for you to "move on" and discard those people from your heart, as well as from your life? I won't ever contact any former "friends" again... But I still miss some of them. Am I just nuts and a horrible person? (dxd with bpd, Anxiety, Depression, c-PTSD etc. etc. ) 
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 allme, Anonymous327401, atomicc, happy 2 b here, kindachaotic, technigal
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#2
Oct 26, 2013, 09:15 AM
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I actually find that my online friends are less disposable than real life ones. Although I don't have great friends irl. I care for my online friends and want to help them so much. Love you fuzzy, no one deserves to be dumped!
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Allie Diagnosed: Generalized Anxiety Disorder & Obsessive Compulsive Disoder. Previous: Borderline Personality Disorder. I no longer qualify for a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, but there will always be my borderline traits that I struggle with especially during times of great stress. I've been working passionately as a therapist since December 2016
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| Fuzzybear, happy 2 b here
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 Fuzzybear
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#3
Oct 26, 2013, 09:17 AM
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It's really hard for me to discard anyone I really care about, whether it's online or IRL. Whether they messed up or they didn't. I have a pretty forgiving nature.
I feel like it's easier for people to let me go than it is for me to let them go. I'm still struggling with missing an online friend really badly, but I think it will be a cold day in hell before that person gives me a second chance, and gets to know the sober me. It's a real shame and it hurts me to the core. and as I told you privately I'm mad at myself that I can't just stop caring about this person, even with the relazation that I was likely never cared about by them. So you're not alone, and you're not nuts in my opinion. Us BPD's (at least some of us anyway) feel and care for others very deeply. |
| Fuzzybear, happy 2 b here
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| Fuzzybear
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#4
Oct 26, 2013, 09:19 AM
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(((Fuzzy)))
I rarely go out to make friends just don't like socializing also the friends I did have I pushed them all away  I would rather come online and talk here, It feels safer for me, I have been hurt by people online, I do miss certain people in my life but some of the were toxic for me 
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| allme, Fuzzybear, happy 2 b here
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| Fuzzybear
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#5
Oct 26, 2013, 11:03 AM
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I personally would fine it harder losing some ppl on here than what I would some ppl IRL. I also find it safer here....
No you're not nuts or a horrible person at all! 
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’’In the end, it’s not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away’’ |
| Fuzzybear
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| Fuzzybear
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#6
Oct 26, 2013, 03:24 PM
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My online friends are as real and valuable as the RL ones. I mean blind ppl can't see their friends but nobody doubts the value they place on their relationships!
I have very close relationships with some people I've met here. Friends like you fuzzy who've been a source of strength and support when I had nothing left of myself to give me. Friends like a guy I met here whom I've lost sleep over due to my offer to stay awake through out a triggering Labour Day weekend, because his relationship was too new at the time to involve his gf. Friends who I stay in contact with daily, that when my phone was giving trouble I had a massive meltdown the other day at the thought of not being able to interact with them. Real friends, people who I've come to recognize as family and in no way easy to discard... So my answer is no I don't find it easier to turn my back on my cyber friends... Love you muchness Furrypaws
__________________
 DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD  "The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
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| Fuzzybear
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| Fuzzybear
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#7
Oct 26, 2013, 03:32 PM
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I care about my online friends in the same manner that I do my RL friends. A lot of my RL friends don't live anywhere near me, so I really only get to communicate with them online too... so... it's all the same to me.
__________________
"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
| Fuzzybear
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| Fuzzybear
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#8
Oct 26, 2013, 03:48 PM
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Friends IRL don't know as much about me as you guys do. You all mean a lot, and losing online friends impacts me a lot!!
I had one who committed suicide 2 years ago this week, that hit me hard and she lived the other side of the world! Couldn't go to her funeral but at the same time as the funeral I made sure to light a candle for her. I still think of her now. There have been other online friends that I've lost over the years that I still think about, they definitely impact on my life. |
| Fuzzybear
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| Fuzzybear
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#9
Oct 26, 2013, 03:53 PM
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I have been dumped by both kinds of people (and I'm sure there are those of both kinds that feel I dumped them) and the only things I have learned is that it hurts to be dumped or to be left, whatever but we all are moving at different rates and, as Tears for Fears put it:
It's my own design It's my own remorse Help me to decide Help me make the most Of freedom and of pleasure Nothing ever lasts forever Everybody wants to rule the world
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
| Fuzzybear
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| Fuzzybear
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#10
Oct 26, 2013, 05:19 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Mags Depression diagnosed March 1996 PTSD diagnosed January 2000 BPD diagnosed September 2013 |
| Fuzzybear
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| Fuzzybear
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#11
Oct 26, 2013, 06:12 PM
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
It's much more difficult with people online for a couple reasons, I don't do well with change, and often people online know more of the real me than people irl so I have more of an emotional connection to them. I've tried to reconnect with people online and more often than not it's unsuccessful. Quote:
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| Fuzzybear
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| Fuzzybear
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#12
Oct 26, 2013, 06:33 PM
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Fuzzy I hope you feel better now. It seems that the majority of people here feel more attached to and comfortable with their online friends. I'd have to say the same, I've got a few online friends I've known for 10 years. I've met a few IRL.
It seems like most people here try to work through any issues that come up in the friendship, because dumping the friend is so hard. but of course there are exceptions sadly. I'm sorry you've been dumped by friends, as you know I'm stil ldealing with the emotional pain of that happening to me. but I think you're a great friend who is very considerate of others. I really appareciate that you didn't know me, yet noticed that I have been feeling really depressed lately and you reached out to me with support. The friends you still have are lucky to call you "friend" |
| Fuzzybear
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| Fuzzybear
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#13
Oct 26, 2013, 09:21 PM
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I think it just depends on the person.
__________________
 "All The World's a Stage" Patterning your life around other's opinions is nothing more than slavery~Lawana Blackwell |
| Fuzzybear
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| Fuzzybear
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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