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#1
Oct 28, 2013, 03:53 PM
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Ever have a day where you wake up and for absolutely no reason, you just hate yourself? You haven't fought with a significant other, had a friend blow you off or had anything happen to make you feel that way, but you just do?
That is today. I feel so unfulfilled and empty. I feel like I have nothing and am worthless. My boyfriend tried to be there for me, and I just pushed him away. I don't want to be touched or looked at and feel like I could just fade into the wall and become invisible forever. I know moods are transient and this will pass... but it is not making the now feel any better Sent from my SPH-D710 using Tapatalk
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 Am I the only one I know, waging my wars behind my face and above my throat? Diagnosed: BPD PTSD |
 Gingersnapsmom
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#2
Oct 28, 2013, 03:58 PM
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Yes I have days like this. No matter if things go great, I'm still worthless. nothing anyone says makes me feel better. I Just go to sleep and hope tomorrow is different. I hope it is for you! sending my love
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Allie Diagnosed: Generalized Anxiety Disorder & Obsessive Compulsive Disoder. Previous: Borderline Personality Disorder. I no longer qualify for a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, but there will always be my borderline traits that I struggle with especially during times of great stress. I've been working passionately as a therapist since December 2016
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#3
Oct 28, 2013, 04:02 PM
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I do have days like those and today is one of them.
 . Hope this passes soon for you  Hugs to you 
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#4
Oct 28, 2013, 04:12 PM
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Yes, I have those days all the time. Hope it gets better soon
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 "All The World's a Stage" Patterning your life around other's opinions is nothing more than slavery~Lawana Blackwell |
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#5
Oct 28, 2013, 04:23 PM
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Thanks atomicc and fuzzybear... I'm trying to just push ahead and do my like daily routine but it's not going the best... I mean I cleaned and got my son off to daycare and am at work right now, but I feel disgusting (appearance is such a huge thing for me and I've recently put on like 15 pounds). I just caught a glance of myself getting out of the shower this morning and I could not believe how gross I looked. I wanted to lunge at the mirror and destroy it, instead I just immediately covered up my body and did my best to look presentable. Maybe that's what set the rest of the day off... who knows.
Sent from my SPH-D710 using Tapatalk
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Am I the only one I know, waging my wars behind my face and above my throat? Diagnosed: BPD PTSD |
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#6
Oct 28, 2013, 04:27 PM
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((((( Hugs )))))) I know how you feel about looking in the mirror(?) (except I feel I'm too thin and look ugly mostly because of that)
I've lost so much weight in the past year that I look scrawny and disgusting to self...I'm just not a proper bear these days. I felt safer somehow when I was "big"  
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#7
Oct 28, 2013, 05:08 PM
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Well I have lost a bunch of weight and lately have put over half back on. I feel so disgusting and like a failure all at once. And I just feel so un-accomplished and just- I just feel like today is such a ****** day. I wonder how long it'll take to snap out of it.
Sent from my SPH-D710 using Tapatalk
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Am I the only one I know, waging my wars behind my face and above my throat? Diagnosed: BPD PTSD |
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#8
Oct 28, 2013, 05:45 PM
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I know for me, I wake up very often with a downright UGLY feeling inside about me in general and it seems for no reason . . . . I can dress nice, put on my make up, look at me and go eh, why try? It is at those times also when I am bitter with what seems like the whole world n everything in it. And yes, it passes, just never soon enough. But it will come
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#9
Oct 28, 2013, 05:51 PM
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It used to be a lot worse, that's for sure. DBT, CBT, and meds have helped... I just hate feeling so blind-sided by it.
Sent from my SPH-D710 using Tapatalk
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Am I the only one I know, waging my wars behind my face and above my throat? Diagnosed: BPD PTSD |
 hawaii04
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#10
Oct 29, 2013, 09:28 AM
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That is every day for me, in that I hate myself every day.
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Dx: BPD, OCD, Anxiety, Depression, AvPD, DePD, OCPD. Meds: Sertraline 200mg, quetiapine 200mg, diazepam 4-8mg, codeine 60mg, statins(high cholesterol triggered by venlafaxine), vit C&D, B12, Iron, domperidone 30mg, omeprazole, mebeverine, gabapentin 400mg, naproxen 1000mg Sanity score: 233 One of my favourite quotes: 'sometimes life breaks in mysterious ways' |
| atomicc
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| atomicc
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#11
Oct 29, 2013, 09:31 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Allie Diagnosed: Generalized Anxiety Disorder & Obsessive Compulsive Disoder. Previous: Borderline Personality Disorder. I no longer qualify for a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, but there will always be my borderline traits that I struggle with especially during times of great stress. I've been working passionately as a therapist since December 2016
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| Morgansangel
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#12
Oct 29, 2013, 10:39 AM
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Quote:
Sent from my SPH-D710 using Tapatalk
__________________
Am I the only one I know, waging my wars behind my face and above my throat? Diagnosed: BPD PTSD |
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