Ways I've been Invalidated Include....

I KNOW RIGHT!!?!!? OMG... just reading that is actually triggering me. And I'm at work... Not a good place to go all BPD -.-

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I never really knew why I used to get angry when I did the dishes and my mom would come right at the end and help with like the last two. It used to make me soooo mad! And I even tried to get her to understand (even when I barely did myself) that it made it feel like she did half when really I did 99% but she never understood. She'd then tell me that I was just acting out because I had to do the dishes (chores) - I CHOSE TO DO THEM OUT OF MY FREE WILL, NOT BECAUSE THEY WERE PART OF MY CHORES OR ANYTHING. No thankyou, no that's so sweet of you, no even just ignoring me...she had to interfere!!! And even thinking about it just makes me so ANGRY. I HATE IT WHEN SHE DOES THAT. GAH!

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When I talk with my bf about struggles I'm having, not looking for advice, and he continuously interrupts me to give advice. Then he says that he doesn't know what to say. In which I respond, "You don't have to say anything. Please, I'm just trying to talk and get this off my mind!!" He then rolls his eyes. Drives me bananas!!!

Totally a guy thing, they are wired to fix problems, my husband does it too.

Whenever I had an issue abojt something with H he would just zah "WHATEVER". 33 years of that just wanted to deck him everytime he said that word. After leavein him finally 6 years ago i still cringe like nails on a chalkboard when i hear that word.

I could go on forever, but I won't lol. Recently my mother who believes that she can tell me what I need to do for my own life. She never asks me what I would like to do for myself, she tells me what I need to do (that will make her happy I guess) and then what the consequences will be if I don't. Also, her thinking she has any semblance of an idea of what I do everyday and how hard it is for me to get it all done just because we're both single mothers.

Most recently, she jokingly said she was moving to Hawaii and I told her that she couldn't leave without me. She told me that I had to get a job before I moved with her. I told her that I was still looking to work from home, she just said that hasn't worked out for you so far (that was so nice )That kinda threw me off since she said that at a time when things were light and supposed to be funny, and she knows how hard It's been for me to find work since I lost my most steady work since 2012. Anyway, I told her that I was recently hired somewhere and she just said that she hopes it works out, but unfortunately I just found out that they actually won't be taking me after all. Well anyway it's back to the same old, also it's really hard when I feel likie everything is how it's supposed to be because this is what I deserve. I don't really have any friends, nobody asks to make sure I'm doing ok, how I'm feeling, I just feel like everybody resents me except for my kids and the one friend that I have now. I don't really feel like a real person and it's so hard for me to feel connected to anyone.

Also, most recently I remembered another job prospect yesterday. I sent them a message on Skype asking if they were still hiring. I think they removed for their contact list, they could have answered the question at least but what can you do? Everyone has their own issues right? lol

Sorry, I didn't mean for that to be so long but I could really go on lol.

I always feel really invalidated when I'm trying to talk to someone about something that's worrying me - usually involving something I have to do or a worry over someone being upset with me for something minor. And while I talk, the person says something along the lines of "everyone goes through that, it's easy. just deal with it". Or things like that.

If it was EASY for me I wouldn't be talking about it!

It's especially invalidating when the other person has mental health issues of their own.. and they seem to think that just because they don't have an issue with X that I shouldn't have an issue with X either.

I've been invalidated (and continue to be invalidated) by my mother. Many times we'll get in an argument and I'll try explaining how I feel and she'll flat out tell me that she doesn't care and is ignoring me.

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My Mom told me that she knows she was depressed when she was younger, but she had some therapy and 'got over it'. Everyone thinks I'm just going to 'get over' my mental illness. She constantly questions the fact that I take medication and thinks I don't need it.

I made a joke about being mentally ill (because I have dark humor), and my Dad told me I'm not mentally ill in a tone that, to me, said that he was disgusted. No one in my family knows of the BPD diagnosis, but my Dad is the only one that knows about my SI. I told him about it and he hasn't said a word about it since. That's a little invalidating. I wish I hadn't told him.

Boo to invalidation!!

This is all so right on !!!!!!

Omg ! Ive been told everything from:
I‘m manipulative, i like attention, I'm sneaky, I'm crazy and need to be on medication, I'm selfish, not stable, not trustworthy, i don't even know myself so how can he even trust me, I'm content with the way i am and that's why i haven't changed, if i know im so useless then why don't i just go ahead and kill myself (that one was to prove that i say these things just for attention not because i really am serious about suicide), that i dont care about anyone except myself and that when I'm seeing "red" i will do anything in anger to hurt him because I'm selfish..............

There was no understanding, still after being told that i believe im BPD there has been no looking into it.

Hes actually pretty wonderful now but theres so much in our past, theres so many of my own demons that just ruin so much, but.....so goes life

I had two "friends" with the same illnesses as I have, they both had a habit of telling me to "get over it" and they had no issues with blowing off steam at me.. we don't have contact anymore though.

My ex fiancé's favorite reply to anything I said was "You don't know what you're talking about." Good reason of many why we didn't get married.

Everything is always my fault and only my fault. Apparently, I'm married to the only perfect, faultless person on the earth.

I need to add my two cents here. Even though I am not BPD as far as I know (and no Ts have ever suggested it), invalidation is real and it happens to a lot of people. Asking someone to do something and then redoing it as if your way is plain wrong is bona fide invalidation imo. Another thing I have never liked is being reminded to do something when I am right in the middle of actually doing it! (I can blame my procrastination habit on that I suppose).

The worst for me is getting upset over something I feel passionate about (BIG stuff like violent abuse for example) and other people implying I am overreacting because the world is just like that, as if visible upset is not permissible and my feelings are incomprehensible / stupid. MAJOR meltdown trigger for me!!!

What about being told... "you love drama" or. "you love playing the victim role".......uuuggghh. i have so many triggers its ridiculous.

Having something redone that I had put energy into would SOOOO tick me off. Message sent: "You didn't do it right. I had to go in behind you and correct it."

I hate having it assumed before I even try, that I'm probably going to screw up. I hate it when people are too quick to offer "helpful" suggestions, like I can't figure it out on my own. I hate it when people question what I said because I said it, and therefore it must be wrong, because everybody knows I'm nuts. I hate being ordered to do something I was just on my way to do, as if I didn't have the intelligence to know it needs doing, and the initiative to do it. But mostly, I hate being told some basic elementary fact any four-year-old of normal intelligence would know. I actually had a co-worker tell me once that helium balloons float away if they're not weighted down. Oh, excuse me, do I have "stupid" tattooed on my forehead?

This is true. They just don't understand, not everything we talk about is a problem we want them to solve for us.

When I was a teenager and both parents worked, it was my job to get supper together for the family. I didn't mind that at all. It was only right that I contribute my fair share in running the household. What I did mind was, if my mother had cooked, my siblings were expected to eat what was put in front of them and be glad they have it. That was the rule. But on the nights that I cooked, they didn't have to eat if they didn't want to. It's not about making kids eat, which some people don't believe in anyway, but it's about the inconsistency. I did the same work but didn't get the same respect. There was nothing wrong with my cooking. My parents were able to eat it. So could I. My sister usually did. But my brothers left their plates untouched because it was "only" me who cooked it, and they didn't have to respect me.