When did you first know you had BPD?

I used to hear comments similar to that when I was a teenager. They always made me feel worse. At the time I apparently had BPD because I was angry and suicidal (One would be angry too if they were severely bullied). I am certain Emergency Department staff were nasty to me because of that diagnosis. After hearing some nasty comments from helping professionals a few times, I decided to never ever visit the ER for psychiatric reasons. That was over fifteen years ago and I haven't been there since.

Ontario healthcare?????

That was the day I od'd ... didn't know my diagnosis until that time. I only dealt with my family doc in Ontario, no one in mental health although I needed it. Mind you mental health in Alberta is not much better

Well I knew something was wrong from 13, it really collapsed at 17 and from 17 to about 28 I spent the time constantly telling professionals that the depression/bipolar diagnosis wasn't right and didn't sit right with me. It was only when a psych told me I had BPD and to read up on it as knowledge was the best therapy for it when I was 28 that it finally clicked.

I'd never heard of BPD before and when I googled it I cried because it made so much sense and I didn't feel like a freak anymore. Other people had the same thing.

But then the way the NHS is I've had loads of different psychs since then & have to go through the whole 'diagnosis' thing again every time. Always end up with dx of BPD, OCD anxiety and depression, but also have random ones thrown at me from time to time like EED, HSP, GAD, separation anxiety, health anxiety, stress ……

I was "diagnosed" about 3 years ago...there are different types and different characteristics that are stronger in some than in others. I hope your therapist will allow you to understand and find which ones resonate with you. If possible, I also recommend NOT putting that diagnosis on any health insurance form...it is a red flag for people with biases against the diagnosis and also for insurance companies as they see that BPD patients use more resources and cost more than some other diagnosis....just use depression or MDD or whatever as your primary diagnosis... They are some really good books like Buddha and the Borderline...a firsthand account...and websites that discuss different types of BPD. Some you will relate to and some not. Use what works for you...best wishes..
WB

Yikes. There is no excuse for professionals making comments like that.

Mental healthcare is awful here. The only time psychiatry will pay attention to you is if you are psychotic or bipolar (if you present yourself in Emergency). They seem to think these are real illnesses that deserve attention. The psych ER is so useless that I refuse to use it or any other crisis service, even my psychiatrist's after hours number.

I have an appointment pretty soon, but I wasn't sure if the psychologist would be able to deal with bpd, so I asked have you dealt with bpd? Now I am worried that they would be predisposed to either proving me wrong or just slacking off and diagnosing it as bpd? do you guys have any advice for this?

I was diagnosed officially more than a decade ago, but it had been "suggested" to me several years before that, after an OD and inpatient treatment. As I wasn't 18 at the time, they didn't want to tell me anything definitive. I, like so many other people here, always knew something was "wrong", though. Now, at 32, I've been diagnosed repeatedly, but it wasn't until the last year that I started actively receiving help in the form of a DBT counsellor. While I didn't have trouble outwardly accepting my diagnosis, I fought it internally (using a lot of fast fixes that didn't work) for a long time. I honestly thought I could handle it myself if I could just find the right thing, place, person, whatever, that would fix me (for the record, I was pretty monumentally wrong on that).

For jackieboy and any others who might be wondering if you're doing the right thing by asking counsellors/psychiatrists if they've got any experience with BPD: absolutely! You should definitely know going in if the person you're about to see has any experience with your particular problem, especially because BPD has such a stigma attached to it. It's your right as both a person and a patient to know their credentials.
If they either slack off or spend their (your) time trying to "prove you wrong", you deserve a better therapist!

This is so me! I am constantly trying to use external forces to fix myself. I know people without BPD do that too, I think the BPD just makes it so much harder because we're in such turmoil inside.

And yes, I brought up my suspicions of BPD and was told right away that I was wrong because I don't fit the classic description. It is totally alright and expected to make sure that the healthcare provider you have is able to give you the proper care.

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I was 22 and a friend had a book on it. I read it and was like O.M.G. I wasn't diagnosed for another year. But I knew that was me after reading up on it.

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I was not 'officially' diagnosed with BPD until fall of 2007: I had checked myself into a 3 day 'Urgent Care Unit' in the 'government funded' mental health center in my hometown (the only option I had due to my insurance, which is also state funded); I had gotten into a serious fight with my Dad {me & my girls had been living with my parents for a year & 1/2 , so I could 'get back on my feet' while I worked at a factory- the fight happened 6 months after being laid off from my job}, & I had to get myself together: the old saying "you can never go home again" is even more true for those of us with BPD; all of the symptoms seem to increase 100% if not more... Getting back to the subject now... The 1st day I was in this UC Unit, I saw a printout about BPD laying on a table & picked it up to read it. It was like I had just read my life story! I finished reading it, & still in complete 'amazement' I found a nurse to talk to about this 'wonderful discovery'. A couple hours later there was a group with the other patients & nurses; during that group I could not quit talking about it-all the while I cried my eyes out, because after years & years of all the pain & suffering I had caused not only myself, but also to my family...I had just found out what had caused my behavior. The next day I talked to the doctor, & there was no doubt in her mind I had BPD.
And, I saw the movie GIRL, INTERRUPTED not long after it was released on DVD: just like you said, I instantly connected with it, & related to 'Susanna Clayton', but I never made the connection about BPD the way you said you did- I only knew there was something about that movie that made me want to watch it on DVD a million times.
Now, if I could only figure out how to get it under control... I go with what I know works best for me, which is relying on my spirituality... of course, this is what works best for me, I know everyone has their own way of dealing with it. I've tried going to therapists, but just like I've read about BPD- most therapists & doctors don't want to deal with patients with BPD, because of our 'dependance on them'...in other words- we annoy them. I'm not apologizing for seeking help for BPD, even if I do get on their nerves. It's their job to help me, you, & the thousands of others suffering (& causing others pain- & not on purpose... I must say). There needs to be more research on BPD, so that we can be helped...I want to stop causing myself & my family needless pain.