[*zer0*]

So I'm relatively new to the whole BPD thing, and I was wondering if I should tell those close to me about my diagnosis. I'm sure it would help them to understand me better, but I'm also afraid of judgement (heck, I judged the heck outta myself when I was diagnosed). I fear my friends and family criticizing me and using my diagnosis as an excuse to put me down or not take me seriously.

Basically, should I tell other people about the diagnosis or should I keep it to myself?

[Aphrodites_Muse]

Personally, I have found that it is not always best to disclose your diagnoses with others. Maybe you could discuss this with your therapist and discuss the pros and cons of this situation.

[Wingnut13]

Originally Posted by Aphrodites_Muse

Personally, I have found that it is not always best to disclose your diagnoses with others. Maybe you could discuss this with your therapist and discuss the pros and cons of this situation.

I have to agree strongly with Aphrodites on this. I finally talked with my mom and sis last night about my bpd. I decided to tell them even after the majority of the advice I was given was to not tell them. I should have listened to the majority. It did not go well at all. They completely dismissed my diagnosis. Telling me they don't believe it. It was not at all what I was hoping for. I was hoping for their total support. And now that I did not get it I am completely crushed. She looked in my eyes and said "I don't see it". I was screaming "it's not something you can see". Even my T said don't do it cause more often than not it goes badly. Now it's out there and I can't take it back. Now my fear is they have told the rest of the family and I am already being talked about and judged.
So my advice is be extremely careful who you tell you have bpd. Once it's out there you can't take it back.

[walkerlady]

as far as telling family that you are bpd, proceed with caution. Mental illness has such a stigma attached that
nobody wants to talk about it, much less admit that a family member has it. I told my family and regret doing it. my sister has totally disowned me, I haven't spoken to her for a couple of years despite attempts to explain. my dad is in total denial. He's one of those 'pull yourself up by the bootstraps' kind of people. My bro is the most sympathetic but he still nas no inclination to learn anything about it. My family thinks if you don't talk about something it doesn't exist. I told them that if they learned a bit about it they would understand me better. No interest on that at all. That's been my experience with it. But good luck to you, you are the best to decide.

[shezbut]

In my opinion, it's a personal decision that everyone should take very cautiously.

It would be great if sharing the news with those close to you would help them understand things better and show support ~ but this diagnosis (along with other personality disorders) is rather complicated. Many people can't see it; or they refuse to see it and insist that you're just fine & you're blowing things out of proportion again; and then there are others who become all defensive and feel as though you're personally attacking them! It can be SO maddening!

I really dislike advising people to hold things inside, as my world became beyond horrible because I held everything inside all of my life & paid very hard for that tendency in my 20's!! My 30's improved a bit, until I reached later 30's & my world feel apart even worse than my 20's! My 40's are going better (so far, *knock on wood*) but I've already laid everything out there and paid for it in my 30's . So, I don't know.

Very best wishes to you!

[beloiseau]

I would say tell people who you think will definitely be supportive. I'm in the same situation as you...only a few close friends know. I already regret telling some people, because I don't think they'll ever understand. I would like to tell my family because I don't like keeping things from them, and I know they care, but I think it would complicate my recovery at this point. My T said that I need to be aware of whether or not it is the right time to tell people.

I too think that my family would end up criticizing me and not understand. I don't think at this point in time they can deal with it.

[allme]

I think it's better to keep it to yourself unless called for...for instance, if you are having trouble in relationships down to BPD, then sitting that person down and explaining why you have problems may help.

It's totally down to you and what you think it best

All the best

[ScarletPimpernel]

I have personally found that telling people about the BPD usually turns out bad. Most don't understand, and most who do understand will treat you as if you're only the diagnosis.

Telling people I have a "mental health" issue, usually turns out positive. Most people can relate to or understand depression or anxiety, so I don't usually get judged for opening up about that.