[MichikoUsagi]

Things are developing rapidly and not in a good way. I have still been unable to find financial support and have literally exhausted every phone number, address and email address I could find.

I snapped and felt empty and was laughing and cackling at the thought of some serious violent things. Thank god I'm able to regain control.

And now it's happened a few times before where I'll feel empty and my pulse gets a bit slower and weaker and my body lightly trembles and there are times where it feels like my hands go numb and my mind is so foggy.

I don't think my body can keep up with my mind, is this even BPD anymore? I feel like I have no emotions toward anything that I should. I don't feel like I have the right emotional reactions that other people have.

[lynn808]

Michi
so sorry to hear you in pain and fighting....the different emotional feelings we experience, the quickly changing thoughts, the way we feel about ourselves, the constant thought that we will never fit, we don't belong here, how long will this last, will it be over soon.... I do know exactly how you feel...its good to know you are still here and fighting...thanks for checking in with us. please know we are here for you at any time...please pm me and I will chat with you. I read your blog and feel we experience a lot of the same things... should I say welcome to my world or may I come see yours??? know we all are there for ya!!! take care now
gentle hugs for you today, my friend...