[Angel of Bedlam]

Sometimes, the things I find out about people hit me so hard they literally take my breath away. People pretend to be there for you, pretend to care about you, when behind your back they're telling your boyfriend to leave you and that you're controlling and completely FAKE. I'm shaking I'm so pissed off. I feel like she's trying to create an in for herself, even if it's online.

How DARE she?

[Fuzzybear]

I know that feeling Sending hugs

[Angel of Bedlam]

People hide things from you, they deliberately keep you from things, and when you find out and freak out, they say, "See this is why I didn't tell you I was talking to them!"

I was never given the chance to react normally because it was hidden from me. How the f*** do you react when things are kept from you?!

And then she, (condescending as ever), says things about you talking to others and using some place to vent as if it's a bad thing.

This is my only place to vent, and the only way I know how to purge myself of the s*** in my head. If I can't. Be honest here, then I'd like for that b**** to take a step off her high horse and show me where the f*** I'm supposed to do that.

She has no idea who the f*** I am, and yet she feels herself qualified to offer advice in my relationship that would lead my boyfriend to break up with me?

How DARE you? No one gave you the right to talk about me this way. Funny thing is, all the while she's talking all this s*** about me, she's pretending to be a friend to me online. The whole thing is vile.

I'm so f***ing angry. I feel betrayed.

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[atomicc]

I'm so sorry that happened to you. I've experienced similar things in real life, people can be really really cruel. I think you should cut this person off because they're clearly not a true friend to you.

[Fuzzybear]

I think that's what we have to hold onto. They (these IRL "friends") have no idea who the **** we are. It's their freakin issues they aren't owning. I agree. It is vile. I don't blame you for being angry.. I think it's "normal" in a situation like this. We may feel it more intensely but we don't choose to be angry because of being mistreated, it's a natural reaction. This is a safe place to vent I'm sorry you've been betrayed in this way.

sorry to hear that you are upset (rightly so)......

It is my hope that your friend simply did something stupid, and that your friendship can recover.

[doyoutrustme]

Your "friend" was wrong to betray you, but getting angry does not have to equate "freaking out." Just some food for thought.

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[Angel of Bedlam]

Originally Posted by Useless Me

sorry to hear that you are upset (rightly so)......

It is my hope that your friend simply did something stupid, and that your friendship can recover.

Nope. We were never that close to begin with. What's done is done. I am just so angry at her.

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Sorry to hear it Angel.............. HER loss.

Hugs to you.

[lynn808]

So sorry angel,
Its hard when people disappoint you...but worse when you feel they have an agenda....hope you know that not everyone is like this....anger is often taken as freaking out...also misunderstood....I am hoping you and your boyfriend are stronger and smarter than to let someone insignificant come between you...keep the lines of communication between you and your boyfriend open...have a hand holding conversation about why he feels he cant tell you everything and decide if you do the same....hold hands the whole time and talk...just talk about it hun....you can come out of this stronger and with more respect for each other...take care now hun!!!!

[Angel of Bedlam]

Originally Posted by lynn808

So sorry angel,
Its hard when people disappoint you...but worse when you feel they have an agenda....hope you know that not everyone is like this....anger is often taken as freaking out...also misunderstood....I am hoping you and your boyfriend are stronger and smarter than to let someone insignificant come between you...keep the lines of communication between you and your boyfriend open...have a hand holding conversation about why he feels he cant tell you everything and decide if you do the same....hold hands the whole time and talk...just talk about it hun....you can come out of this stronger and with more respect for each other...take care now hun!!!!

Well we talked it out fairly calmly. That was a big step for me. He is a wonderful man, and I understand why he reached out to this person. She also has BPD, and so he wanted perspective from her on a tough situation for us. My main issue was HER. Telling him to leave, all the while never saying anything to me when I thought we had forged a nice relationship online. People with BPD tend to idolize and my fear is she was doing that with him to gain attention that she's not getting. It's wrong and one of the worst parts of BPD. I am grateful that I have the guy that I do. He would never stoop as low as she did.

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I have been on both sides of something like this. I definetly understand and empathize with that physical reaction. Clamby hands, gross feeling in the pit of your stomach, heart pounding, ETC.
However, I happen to believe that if you think about it in a more calm state, you'll come to realize that someone online who lives so far away likely isn't trying to "create an in" for herself with your bf.
Of course you're gonna be upset by, and not agree with her saying your bf should leave you. Abandonment is every BPD person's worst enimy, especially by a loved one.
but did you consider that maybe she gave him this advice based on something he told her?
I'd really like to help you settle this internal conflict, feel free to PM me if you would like to talk about it.

[Verity81]

Blimey, telling your boyfriend to leave you is way out of order.

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[ginaaa22]

hope things get better for you