been having a lot of anxiety issues lately (last few weeks).

i have "home work" that my therapist gives me plus the home work from group therapy, I am struggling with it and it is raising my anxiety even more.

I feel like I want to FLEE (but I do not know where I would go). So i turn to self harm to regulate.

i really just want to cease......... i am tired. I am tired of life. but i do not (apparently) have the balls to just freaking DO IT already.

sorry - just had to rage a bit.

xxx please don't hurt urself!!
I know how u feel tho. I get those urges too. Usually I step out to the gym or go for a run? Xx

[gayleggg]

I'm sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed. Maybe you could break it down to pieces and just work on one piece at a time. Take it slow. Just do the best you can, but try not to self-harm yourself. You will only be setting yourself back.

[FlowerChild67]

Try being disabled and unable to work or do much with your body or mind, completely alone with no support system or friends and hating life and wish you were never born. The only thing I am glad for is I don't really do any self harm unless binge eating is considered harmful. I really don't know where to go and how to help myself. I am very sorry if I sound like I am ranting or upsetting, but I am at a solid brick wall and don't know where the door is to a better life.

[technigal]

Sorry you are having a rough time. Wish there was something I could do or say that would help.

[Fuzzybear]

Please don't hurt self

[SeekerOfLife]

Originally Posted by Useless Me

been having a lot of anxiety issues lately (last few weeks).

i have "home work" that my therapist gives me plus the home work from group therapy, I am struggling with it and it is raising my anxiety even more.

I feel like I want to FLEE (but I do not know where I would go). So i turn to self harm to regulate.

i really just want to cease......... i am tired. I am tired of life. but i do not (apparently) have the balls to just freaking DO IT already.

sorry - just had to rage a bit.

Hi to you UM. I wish my therapist would give me "homework". It would help to keep me occupied in a positive way. I can totally relate to the wanting to flee idea. I call it wanting to ESCAPE. So many things I do I have come to realize are efforts at escaping my existence. This forum is a form of escape for me. Yes, I go to my therapy. I try to be positive. But sometimes the only answer is to escape.

[Frankbtl]

Hi UM, it sounds like everything's just piling up on you. And all this "homework" is kind of defeating the purpose of the benefits of either seeing your therapist or group therapy. BUT maybe if you explain to your therapist and whoever sets "homework" in group therapy how you're feeling there may be some room for negotiation/lightening the load a bit.
I mean, progress IS progress really!! So if you aren't keeping up with their "timescale" what does that matter/what should that matter!! Each step ahead IS a massive thing!! And it needs to work for YOU!!
And perhaps if you ask your therapist to spend a little time in your sessions reviewing where you are with your group therapy inc. some of the "homework" you've done for them, your therapist can actually see where you're going/the progress you're making and give you smaller amounts of more suitable "homework" based on that.
I know there are probably going to be times when things take a step back/get harder for you but what's really important is/are your achievements and using those to help you through darker times. And your achievements really need to be recognized and nurtured.
So all at your own pace UM, and if you don't make "schedules" then if you can just take a little away with you from with you from what you have managed to do then THAT is the main thing.
So, got me? It's all about YOU and what's going to really help YOU, what's right for YOU. Don't lose sight of that and don't let anyone else lose sight of that either!!
Best wishes
Alison

Thanks to each of you.

I am okay today. Yesterday was bordering on scary - and the drive home from work was "concerning"

[gayleggg]

Glad you are feeling better today. We all have bad days. We just have to get through them one step at a time.

[Verity81]

Hope you are still feeling a little better?

Take the homework one bit at a time, discuss with your therapist the anxiety around the homework.

I can relate to wanting to flee, sometimes I want to just run, but where would I run to? I think we get so overwhelmed we want to escape our lives.

Can you replace the self harm with something else? like exercise or even punching a pillow or writing it out?

Thanks for the idea....

unfortunately my anxiety usually spikes when I am at work. so i can not really do a lot of the ideas (exercise, punch a pillow, go for a walk).

In fact, I realized a short while back - that nearly half my suicide attempts happened while I was sitting in this chair.

[Verity81]

Is there something specific about your work that spikes your anxiety so much? and if so is there anything that can be done to help resolve it?