[MechaZombie]

I was involved with a woman and we fell in love. Unfortunately I had dropped out of therapy and wasn't using any of the skills I learned there (why would I have done that when I was on top of the world?), so my symptoms got the best of me and my behavior went out of control.

I ruined the relationship. I have been brooding over her ever since (a few months ago). Even though in my high times I have been with other women.

Well, on another website (that we both visit), I mentioned her in a post. I mentioned how horrible I felt about everything, how since getting back into therapy and getting my meds readjusted I could clearly see how horrible I was, and how miserable I was knowing that she'd never speak to me again.

However, she messaged me today. Just to let me know that she doesn't hate me. Also to let me know that she has found someone else that she is in love with.

I can't do the sober thing today. Maybe next week.

[atomicc]

I wish there was more I could say to help, but I know the pain you are feeling. I hope that since you're back in therapy and on medication you can learn from what happened. Feel better

[MechaZombie]

Thank you. I'm definitely not doing too well tonight.

[live2ski66]

Did you ask her or did she volunteer the information? If she told you out of the blue, I don't think that was an appropriate and decent thing to do. It's like rubbing salt on your wounds.

If this is the case, "forget about her!" When I find myself in situations like that, I create my own little rituals around the problem. I might write a letter about how I feel, find a photo, put them in a steel container and burn it. As it burns visualize yourself getting rid of her negative energy and allowing yourself to be cleansed from all things hers so you can be open and pure for tour next relationship.

Good luck!

[MechaZombie]

Originally Posted by live2ski66

Did you ask her or did she volunteer the information? If she told you out of the blue, I don't think that was an appropriate and decent thing to do. It's like rubbing salt on your wounds.

If this is the case, "forget about her!" When I find myself in situations like that, I create my own little rituals around the problem. I might write a letter about how I feel, find a photo, put them in a steel container and burn it. As it burns visualize yourself getting rid of her negative energy and allowing yourself to be cleansed from all things hers so you can be open and pure for tour next relationship.

Good luck!

She saw a post on a website we both visit where I mentioned how horrible I felt about what I'd done and how I knew she hates me and how I knew I'd never hear from her again. I was speaking about people that leave forever (since I have the whole abandonment issue). That was last week. I guess she saw it yesterday. She wanted to let me know that she doesn't hate me.

The thing I'm struggling with today is that we did message each other back and forth a bit. I told her I was devastated to learn she was with someone else, especially since it has only been less than two months since we split. She said she was "trying" to make things work with this new guy but she didn't want me to get my hopes up. Then she kept apologizing. Her last message was "And you know..... I do... love you..."

So here I am today, heartbroken and wanting to text her like a million times and call her and ask her why she could just leave forever like that if she didn't hate me or why she would be with someone else if she loves me. I did try to call at 6am but she didn't answer (of course).

I'm so freaking upset. I know I need to leave her alone, but... I do still love her so much.

Ugh.

I want the world to go away.

[waiting4]

This may sound cold, but I think at this point she is just trying to leave her 'options' open...and I'm pretty certain the new guy doesn't know she's 'trying to make it work' which gives all the intimation that it's NOT working and therefore she's 'trying'. I'm willing to bet, he hasn't got a clue she's even messaging you.

That said, she might be, in the back of her mind, reconsidering. But that would be conjecture and borderline mind reading, which I don't do, and I doubt you do. I know you still have feelings for her. I do think, however, for YOUR good...you should at least try to step back....give YOURSELF the breathing room, not her.

With BPD we tend to wrap everything up in what's best for OTHER people, and then if we fail, or succeed but then get emotionally trashed by the person we've struggled so hard to support, we're lost. Which is why, the step-back, should be about you....not her.

Time will-out eventually. It always does. Take care of you, for now. If there is to be a 'both' then you'll have a better idea of what will make it work, if you go into it more complete within yourself than you are now.