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Old Mar 26, 2014, 10:07 AM
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JadeAmethyst JadeAmethyst is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2012
Location: gone
Posts: 2,224
Dear friends,
Living in the river of denial has caused lots of tiresome issues for me of late....least of all alienation, frustration, and inability to deal with the underlying rage, that seems to make such a lot of turmoil, and distrust.

I get a double dose of punishment, and have been at a crossroads lately.
It seems that I'm in need, yet push away (?)

My "sources" of support were and are fed up with it (my attitude, and behavior, and so am I).

IRW, social interactions have actually become physically painful body sensations, but dealing with this now is easier.

All I would like today, is a huge hug, a warm smile, and welcoming arms to hold me....., some quiet companionship (which I actually do have from my dogs) well I meant of human contact. LOL

Admitting my truth here is liberating, and the source of support I need at the moment. Feeling very heavy hearted most times isn't an endearing trait I'm fond. Just a venting and airing out my "stuff".

Jade
Hugs from:
bataviabard, Fuzzybear, Reneee, trying2survive

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  #2  
Old Mar 26, 2014, 10:25 AM
trying2survive's Avatar
trying2survive trying2survive is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: northeast ohio
Posts: 1,085
Quote:
Originally Posted by JadeAmethyst View Post
Dear friends,
Living in the river of denial has caused lots of tiresome issues for me of late....least of all alienation, frustration, and inability to deal with the underlying rage, that seems to make such a lot of turmoil, and distrust.

I get a double dose of punishment, and have been at a crossroads lately.
It seems that I'm in need, yet push away (?)

My "sources" of support were and are fed up with it (my attitude, and behavior, and so am I).

IRW, social interactions have actually become physically painful body sensations, but dealing with this now is easier.

All I would like today, is a huge hug, a warm smile, and welcoming arms to hold me....., some quiet companionship (which I actually do have from my dogs) well I meant of human contact. LOL

Admitting my truth here is liberating, and the source of support I need at the moment. Feeling very heavy hearted most times isn't an endearing trait I'm fond. Just a venting and airing out my "stuff".

Jade
i have to agree with you there, just getting these thing out feels so much better, the more i type the better i feel, i felt just awful this morning and now as i continue to type i can feel my mood stabilizing, im going to have to change my mood icon soon!
__________________







I have learned that i and i alone am responsible for my happiness, most people these days are as reliable as wet toilet paper!
Thanks for this!
JadeAmethyst
  #3  
Old Mar 26, 2014, 10:35 AM
Anonymous100108
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Posts: n/a
**Opens arms wide** for you to walk into a hug anytime you need it.
Thanks for this!
JadeAmethyst
  #4  
Old Mar 26, 2014, 10:14 PM
trying2survive's Avatar
trying2survive trying2survive is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: northeast ohio
Posts: 1,085
Quote:
Originally Posted by JadeAmethyst View Post
Dear friends,
Living in the river of denial has caused lots of tiresome issues for me of late....least of all alienation, frustration, and inability to deal with the underlying rage, that seems to make such a lot of turmoil, and distrust.

I get a double dose of punishment, and have been at a crossroads lately.
It seems that I'm in need, yet push away (?)

My "sources" of support were and are fed up with it (my attitude, and behavior, and so am I).

IRW, social interactions have actually become physically painful body sensations, but dealing with this now is easier.

All I would like today, is a huge hug, a warm smile, and welcoming arms to hold me....., some quiet companionship (which I actually do have from my dogs) well I meant of human contact. LOL

Admitting my truth here is liberating, and the source of support I need at the moment. Feeling very heavy hearted most times isn't an endearing trait I'm fond. Just a venting and airing out my "stuff".

Jade
feels so good to get it out doesn't it! it can be so very rough at times, but it gets better
__________________







I have learned that i and i alone am responsible for my happiness, most people these days are as reliable as wet toilet paper!
Thanks for this!
JadeAmethyst
  #5  
Old Mar 27, 2014, 07:45 PM
JadeAmethyst's Avatar
JadeAmethyst JadeAmethyst is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Jul 2012
Location: gone
Posts: 2,224
Yes, today I actually experienced some true motivation and inspiration and actually enjoyed my day and felt physically better today.
Thank you Useless Me for those wide open arms, gosh that felt soooooo good!!!!
Trying2Survive, yes holy sheep, it does feel good getting it out in the air so to speak....yep rough times, yet here we are...a better day.

Jade
  #6  
Old Mar 28, 2014, 11:30 AM
trying2survive's Avatar
trying2survive trying2survive is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: northeast ohio
Posts: 1,085
Quote:
Originally Posted by JadeAmethyst View Post
Yes, today I actually experienced some true motivation and inspiration and actually enjoyed my day and felt physically better today.
Thank you Useless Me for those wide open arms, gosh that felt soooooo good!!!!
Trying2Survive, yes holy sheep, it does feel good getting it out in the air so to speak....yep rough times, yet here we are...a better day.

Jade
glad you feel better, the good days are nice(never enough of them)
i was feeling so good yesterday,then i screwed up.went to the bar to watch a basketball game,when i got there they had 2 dollar drinks and i lost all self controlmad at myself right now, fortunately i didn't do anything stupid!
__________________







I have learned that i and i alone am responsible for my happiness, most people these days are as reliable as wet toilet paper!
  #7  
Old Mar 31, 2014, 02:12 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,641
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