[Aventurine]

Hey,

This might be a touchy question to put out there, but I was listening to a podcast today (Mental Illness Happy Hour - with Natasha L. 4/4/14) and she was talking about her mother being apparently, according to Natasha L's diagnosis, BPD.

The guest on the podcast found her mother's diaries after her death that expressed several times how her mother hates her children and wishes they would die of cancer. There was also discussion about both the host's and the guest's mothers' being possible BPD's because of the intense hatred and guilt and "martyrdom" they put upon their children...

This also included an apparent trait of BPD as "pitting people against eachother" Serious?

Now, I am a mother of a 16 year old boy and sometimes I feel the burden of being a mother since I was 20 and how I do look forward to freedom in a few years, but I cannot for the life of me relate to such hideous attempts to barrage children with guilt and insults and claim this as symptomatic of BPD...

And what about pathological lying??? I know there are desperate attempts to avoid abandonment and they can range from person to person.. but pathological lying??

Im am hurt and confused by this and was wondering if surely this isn't the case... I am the most loving, compassionate and caring person, I do it so much so that I am often left vulnerable and hurt, sure I get angry but the anger that I feel outwardly toward someone.. immediately turns inwards and I begin feeling uncontrollable anger at myself for feeling anger over something stupid in the first place and the cycle begins.. That's BPD right?

If you guys can give me an honest account of what this might be all about that would be great...

Or have I just come across the material that we are warned to avoid on the interwebs...?

[Aventurine]

Ahh...don't mind me.. I was just having a WTF moment.. Its ok.. I don't know why I am freaking out.. I just am atm.. Im going to go have a big glass of water...

[skyxblue]

I have never heard of that. Of course I have just been looking more into BPD and my symptoms. I have a 8 year old andI can't relate either. I struggle being a mom but it's more my own issues and struggles with my emotions. Nothing like in the podcast. And what you describe about yourself...that is me also. Nothing that the person described in the podcast. Not sure if I helped but I really think she was guessing about her mother.

[Aventurine]

Originally Posted by skyxblue

I have never heard of that. Of course I have just been looking more into BPD and my symptoms. I have a 8 year old andI can't relate either. I struggle being a mom but it's more my own issues and struggles with my emotions. Nothing like in the podcast. And what you describe about yourself...that is me also. Nothing that the person described in the podcast. Not sure if I helped but I really think she was guessing about her mother.

Thank you! I was beginning to think maybe I was delusional as well!!

Yeah I have been listening to this podcast for a while now and this is the first time I experienced stigma like this..

The host, Paul Gilmartin is usually very good although he did say that having BPD is like being set on fire and then having someone tell you to quit moving around... I could relate to that..haha

[Trippin2.0]

Such bullshyt!

I doubt that person actually knew anything about BPD. Probably just read some questionable material on how hateful we all must be and decided "OMG that's my mom!"

I have my own struggles with motherhood, but none of it includes wishing my child died of cancer or treating her like absolute shyt

She's my life, my real live guardian angel, and even though I have to work exceptionally hard at being a good mother for her, she is absolutely worth the effort.

[Verity81]

Oh wow that its clearly a load of crap! I have two step daughters and although they are not my natural children despite it getting quite stressful at times all I want for them is happiness and to grow up healthy! My mother was critical and such a liar but was not bpd. It sounds like the only mental illness that mother they were talking about had was ***** syndrome! I sooo wish they wouldn't go on like all bpd people are assholes, it just adds to the pile of stigma out there!

BPD does seem to be the run to diagnosis when someone is less than pleasant these days.

It used to be socio/pyschopathy but with awareness of BPD growing so too are the arm chair psychiatrists with their diagnoses.

[atomicc]

I myself find it so infuriating when people claim this and that is a trait of BPD when it is quite clear what the traits are by reading the DSM. People can't just add on these different things not sanctioned because it makes them feel better about discriminating against someone.
I'm sorry you had to listen to this, I would find it very triggering as well. I wish they wouldn't let uneducated and uninformed people go on and say all these awful things. It just pushes us further and further back into the depths of stigma.

This sounds more narcissist than BPD in my opinion.

[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by Aventurine

Hey,

This might be a touchy question to put out there, but I was listening to a podcast today (Mental Illness Happy Hour - with Natasha L. 4/4/14) and she was talking about her mother being apparently, according to Natasha L's diagnosis, BPD.

The guest on the podcast found her mother's diaries after her death that expressed several times how her mother hates her children and wishes they would die of cancer. There was also discussion about both the host's and the guest's mothers' being possible BPD's because of the intense hatred and guilt and "martyrdom" they put upon their children...

This also included an apparent trait of BPD as "pitting people against eachother" Serious?

Now, I am a mother of a 16 year old boy and sometimes I feel the burden of being a mother since I was 20 and how I do look forward to freedom in a few years, but I cannot for the life of me relate to such hideous attempts to barrage children with guilt and insults and claim this as symptomatic of BPD...

And what about pathological lying??? I know there are desperate attempts to avoid abandonment and they can range from person to person.. but pathological lying??

Im am hurt and confused by this and was wondering if surely this isn't the case... I am the most loving, compassionate and caring person, I do it so much so that I am often left vulnerable and hurt, sure I get angry but the anger that I feel outwardly toward someone.. immediately turns inwards and I begin feeling uncontrollable anger at myself for feeling anger over something stupid in the first place and the cycle begins.. That's BPD right?

If you guys can give me an honest account of what this might be all about that would be great...

Or have I just come across the material that we are warned to avoid on the interwebs...?

i don't think any of those are symptoms, more like misconceptions, i have never pitted anyone against anyone else. everybody lies, pathologically..not me. i think you may have come across some bad material IMHO

[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by BeteNoire

BPD does seem to be the run to diagnosis when someone is less than pleasant these days.

It used to be socio/pyschopathy but with awareness of BPD growing so too are the arm chair psychiatrists with their diagnoses.

hahaha i could agree with you more, all the sudden everybody is an expert on BPD! imagine that.

[technigal]

Originally Posted by Aventurine

If you guys can give me an honest account of what this might be all about that would be great...

Or have I just come across the material that we are warned to avoid on the interwebs...?

That podcast was definitely by uninformed, uneducated people. Nothing they said is part of BPD.

Originally Posted by Aventurine

Hey,

This might be a touchy question to put out there, but I was listening to a podcast today (Mental Illness Happy Hour - with Natasha L. 4/4/14) and she was talking about her mother being apparently, according to Natasha L's diagnosis, BPD.

The guest on the podcast found her mother's diaries after her death that expressed several times how her mother hates her children and wishes they would die of cancer. There was also discussion about both the host's and the guest's mothers' being possible BPD's because of the intense hatred and guilt and "martyrdom" they put upon their children...

This also included an apparent trait of BPD as "pitting people against eachother" Serious?

Now, I am a mother of a 16 year old boy and sometimes I feel the burden of being a mother since I was 20 and how I do look forward to freedom in a few years, but I cannot for the life of me relate to such hideous attempts to barrage children with guilt and insults and claim this as symptomatic of BPD...

And what about pathological lying??? I know there are desperate attempts to avoid abandonment and they can range from person to person.. but pathological lying??

Im am hurt and confused by this and was wondering if surely this isn't the case... I am the most loving, compassionate and caring person, I do it so much so that I am often left vulnerable and hurt, sure I get angry but the anger that I feel outwardly toward someone.. immediately turns inwards and I begin feeling uncontrollable anger at myself for feeling anger over something stupid in the first place and the cycle begins.. That's BPD right?

If you guys can give me an honest account of what this might be all about that would be great...

Or have I just come across the material that we are warned to avoid on the interwebs...?

I have never heard such crap in my whole life, My kids are my world they mean more to me than life it's self.

I have never pitted people against each other either.

I would of been furious if I had listened to that.

[Aventurine]

Phhhewww...

Thanks guys for your responses, I was so relieved to hear that such malevolence toward your children and toward others isn't a BPD trait especially pitting people against eachother, and no nothing is mentioned in the DSM about pathological lying.

I emailed the host (Gilmartin) a few weeks back saying how much I enjoyed the podcast as he has had other guests on who are actually diagnosed with BPD and I found it encouraging. I also touched on how I was feeling.. he gets a lot of emails, but he did personally reply to me and was rather encouraging. I did mention BPD.

I think I might email him again...

I think what was worse, and this goes with negative stigma, is that neither mothers were actually diagnosed with BPD, the host and guest just drew conclusions based on those horrible symptoms mentioned before... That was what got me really worked up..

I also read on the MIHH forum that he has had another guest on before and BPD was discussed and they deleted the podcast...wonder what that was about..?

It doesn't help stigma and its devastating to us who already feel like Sh!Tty about ourselves..

I think I might email him..