[June155]

Hey everyone,

I was just wondering something, I often read that most people with BPD can't controle their anger and suddenly hate people for something really small... I don't have that. I have the opposite. I am not capable of being angry at someone.
At rare times I really feel angry inside, and I can vow never to talk to them again and I don't want to be their friend anymore, but as soon as that person talks to me again, or does something nice I immediately forgive everything. Even if they truly don't deserve it: I'm the biggest pushover EVER.
(Except when I have a serious relationship, then I can be a monster...)

Also, whenever someone reacts a bit harsh or rude to me, I always think I've done something wrong and it's my fault and I should never talk to hem again because they obviously don't like me. I just turn really silent or I completely hide how much their reaction hurt me. No angry outbursts, just me being sure I'm not worthy of their time and I should just leave everyone alone, because why would they want to be friends with me?

Can anyone relate to this?

[Elektra_]

hi. ever heard of a book that characterizes bpd? "i hate u, dont leave me". i dont think is actually hate... is frustration, anger, disappointment, sometimes manipulation.... then ur self-worth comes to play. bpd has to do with abuse or neglect so we always think its our fault, people dont like us, so on... this is linked with being passive, not expressing our needs before others. tc

[isntlifewonderful]

I can relate somehow. And it sounds to me like you just described my best friend who's also got BPD. She'll get mad at ME when she's scared of me doing drugs or trying to kill myself, but she rarely ever gets mad at anyone else. Except in relationships with really abusive people, at least after she's realized that it's not her fault. We blame ourselves and that's part of our disorder. We find ourselves worthless and that WE are what's wrong...

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