[detachedangst]

Im afraid I have built up being hospitalization as a miracle cure??? I am having so, so much anxiety it is pushing me over the edge. I cut on a daily basis. I am not seriously thinking about suicide, but I do think a lot about the relief it would bring (emptiness, nothingness). I have been hospitalized before and it did help. I want to go inpatient but am afraid of the burden on my husband. He just lost his gma Saturday. I have been telling my self for weeks when she gets better, after she passes, after the funeral, a after the H has time to greive. Now I'm wondering if it's the right thing, do I really need that, will it help. Ugh I'm just too big of a wimp.

[glok]

Hello, detachedangs. I do not think there is a bad time to start the process of getting better.

[ifst5]

Please be gentle with yourself - from a lot of your posts it sounds like you have more than enough on your plate and a dying family member hardly makes matters easier.

Ultimately you have to do what's best for you, increased self harm and suicidal ideation isn't an indicator you're coping well. How do you see things panning out? Is it maybe time for a discussion with your husband so that in any eventuality you're all a bit more prepared? If we were to look at this from a reverse angle, getting into hospital now might allow you to stabilise sooner and feel better able to cope with the difficult life events you're currently experiencing. It's not an easy decision, far from it, but I hope you come to some resolution soon. All the best to you.