Male borderlines face extra challenges ?

I've gone over the top at times.. I know what you mean. There was a time when I would not tolerate any kind of disrespect, real or imagined.... But, now I look back at just how much power I gave people. It's like I was telling them "you have a lot of power over me... if you say the wrong thing, it will ruin my day". I suppose I turned the table on a few of them, and gave caused them to have a bad day... but, it just wasn't worth it.

It seems there's a pretty good guy at my core somewhere, and he's really not the spiteful type. I still feel like I have to protect myself from people. and if someone says the wrong thing, I may limit my exposure to them, until or unless they prove they are someone "safe".

"Trolls" exist in real life, too. They don't just inhabit the internet.

I still feel like I have to protect myself from people. and if someone says the wrong thing, I may limit my exposure to them, until or unless they prove they are someone "safe".

Yeah, I have to limit my exposure too. I do not make friends, although I do enjoy talking to people. And you are right about it not being worth it to take someone down in order to protect yourself because I think it collapses in on itself... in the end, for me, the ongoing conflict was more trouble/pain than to be silent or pretend congeniality - to illustrate to someone how easy it is to be mean when they never get it in the end and you become the villain somehow? Heh...

I wish I would have learned earlier in my life that the conflict hurt me more than them even if it looked like I was ok, and winning I was losing still.

I agree.
I look around me, and the people I admire are the people who handle difficult people and difficult situations with poise. They are the people I want to get to know. and I want to be one of those people.

Please note the question mark in my title. I'm initiating an open-ended discussion in which everyone is entitled to their opinion; I am not stating it as though it were a fact.

There are several reasons I'm asking this question, and this is my opinion (feel free to correct me if you think I'm wrong):

- Men are not "allowed" to be expressive with emotions (e.g. crying, pouting), simply because of society's wonderful scripts, while women faced with the same situation may be able to seek potential help with an expression of their emotions. This is probably my biggest gripe with the world.
- Literature for men: Hahahahahahahhahahah ... I've spent the last 3 years of my life looking for a book that focuses on the unique challenges faced by male borderlines. I'm still looking. Yes, I know that 75% of borderlines are women, bla bla blue. I guess the remaining 25% should find a black hole to live in ?
- Related to the first point, male borderlines may be labeled as being "soft", "too nice", or even "gay" (nothing against gay folks, just saying it's not necessarily an accurate label), or whatever the heck else we don't deserve to be called, just because we express ourselves more than male nons.

Am I the only guy who feels this way ? Please tell me I'm not.

Gals, I'd love to hear your take on this as well.

Nons, sorry, I won't listen to a word you say.

on the other hand, because men, as you say, are not allowed to show emotion the way women are, it could be a good thing for bpd. women get away with being crazy. were just the typical psycho girl. no biggie. some people even like that. it allows us to feed our bpd and not seek help for it as often as we should.

mm thats not entirely what i meant. sorry it wasnt clear. i just meant that because women are "allowed" to be more emotional, it could be worse for us because it feeds our bpd. men, on the other hand, are less able to show emotion. this might starve the bpd. just a weird way to put it all into a different light.