[N.toto]

Hi,
I just recently realized that I have this disorder, well not completely recently, I always had the traits, but last friday I was on a second date with a guy that I liked, last minute he told me it's going to be double date, which I found odd since it's only our second date. then when i get there I find out that they're his friends who aren't dating and just happen to be a guy and a girl.

during this "double date" they were mostly kept speaking french, a language I don't speak. switching and translating every now and then. we finish our food and head to a bar, where it's apparently another friend's birthday and he kept ignoring me and hangging out with his friends in this mostly francophone bar (this is in montreal, where the city is mostly divided into anglophone and francophone areas). and at some point he comes up to me and tells me it doesn't seem like i'm having a good time, maybe I want to go home? so I asked him if he's asking me to leave, and in a polite way he confirms. I got upset because I was very busy this week and made the time to see him, while he now asks me to go home. and here's where my BPD shows : I told him in somewhat of high voice " I can't believe I f***ing wasted my night on you" and stormed out. I was drunk and exhausted (only had 5 hours of sleep in the last 2 days) I called my friend and was crying uncontrollably (I was very drunk) and caught a cab went home and kept having this high level of emotion, gave him two drunken calls that he didn't answer (for good reason). Next morning I text him an apology for what I said but also letting him know it's not okay to have taken me to a strictly french speaking event. he apologized as well but broke it off. I didn't object to his decision although it has highly upset me.

So because of this emotional instability, impulsivity and easy irritation I believe I have BPD. Who fights with someone they just met? granted I was drunk, but also shows that i was already emotionally invested at date #2. and the fact that i'm still upset about it 2 days later, a guy that i have just met last week is ridiculous. I'm 26 and these seem to be very immature reflexes. I also don't put myself out there and in constant fear of rejection. self-esteem issues, constantly bored although I'm super busy, paranoid, don't know what I want.

If you have read this (thank you!) would you agree it shows BPD traits and do you believe that CBT could help (if you have had experience on the matter)

Again, Thanks for reading
N

[allme]

Hi

Sorry but reading that doesn't show you have BPD, it is so little to go by. I hope for your sake that you are wrong. It is an evil thing to live with and would not wish it on my worst enemy.

Sometimes people are irrational and emotional, but that's normal, it doesn't always have to have an illness attached. Please do some research, and speak to a doctor.

No one here can dx you and neither can you dx yourself. You need to see someone qualified to do so.

Good luck

[ifst5]

You don't necessarily have BPD - the diagnostic criteria is pretty high and the difficulties are usually long held. Most people would be upset by what happened to you - the guy sounds like a total prat. Instead of just honestly saying he wasn't interested he pulled you along and made you feel a fool. You also said you had been drinking and were sleep deprived so no doubt your emotions were already heightened. By all means get your concerns validated by a professional but i wouldn't rush head long into therapy without good reason - DBT (the prescribed course of treatment for BPD), can take up to two years to complete and requires up to three weekly appointments. So it can't be entered into lightly.

You sound like any other 26 year old to me - confused by too much choice and high pressure, exasperated by a dating world that's increasingly fast paced and cut throat...though obviously you don't have to have anything officially 'wrong' with you to get therapy, a lot of people who are struggling turn to it for better ways to cope.

Look into it, note down the issues which seem to be concerning you most and discuss whether these are dealt with by whoever it is you manage to contact. 1-1 psychotherapy is usually advised if DBT can't be accessed.

Good luck.

[N.toto]

I understand what your saying, I've done research on it, I also have an MD myself. I've always seemed to have the minor traits. But I do appreciate your input. and there is more but I'm not allowed to mention suicide or anything like that, trying to respect the forum's law.

I'm sorry if it sounded like a teen crush thing that's happening here, but my relationship with people has always been on the extremes with nothing in between. it's just the unjustified flipping out here makes me think it's getting worse that I'm not capable of putting a face on anymore

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by N.toto

I understand what your saying, I've done research on it, I also have an MD myself. I've always seemed to have the minor traits. But I do appreciate your input. and there is more but I'm not allowed to mention suicide or anything like that, trying to respect the forum's law.

I'm sorry if it sounded like a teen crush thing that's happening here, but my relationship with people has always been on the extremes with nothing in between. it's just the unjustified flipping out here makes me think it's getting worse that I'm not capable of putting a face on anymore

I think you have received good input to those who have responded to your first post.

Take a deep breath and one step at a time.

If I went through what you went through with that guy I'd be peed off, BPD or no BPD so I don't think your feelings or emotions were irrational in comparison to the situation.

If you've been diagnosed as MD and you've indirectly hinted at sui attempts it could be due to that diagnosis.

If you're really concerned about this then you need to see a mental health practitioner. You may be. You may not be. One story of a wild night drinking and getting peeved over what seems like jerkish behavior isn't enough for me to comment on.