[ThunderGoddess]

I've been digging into my past and remembered in 5th grade I started to speak in a "baby" voice, I can't remember if I knew if I was doing it or not but a girl said something about it in front of a bunch of classmates which is why I remember it when it was.
Anyway I now have many different voices in my collection. I change them with different people I interact with, it's not that I purposely do it, it just happens but I when I notice it I try to stop.
Just curious if anyone else has this experience or knows the cause or coping skill to stop and also wondering if I should tell my therapist.

[sideblinded]

Hi ThunderGoddess

I certainly don't know why you do this but I think it would be worth going to a therapist and asking them what they think. I don't know if there is an OCD component to this or maybe you just found a way to entertain yourself. You mentioned that you try to stop this so that is why I think of OCD. Of course there could be more to it. I would check into this for sure.

Best wishes!

[Frankbtl]

Hi ThunderGoddess, if it's bothering you definitely tell your T. Doesn't matter how "big", "small", "embarrassing", "uncomfortable" anything is.........if it's bothering you, it matters!!
But just to throw a few thoughts your way.........I'd be asking for causes too. I mean sometimes we do interact differently with different people............some may make us feel more positive/motivated in general.........some may make us feel comfortable in being vulnerable or open.............some may make us feel more relaxed.............some may make us feel like we need to be in control..........some may make us feel like we need to please them or prove ourselves...........and there'll be different things we've shared or experienced with different people..........so our whole attitude/what we put across can sometimes be different with different people including tones of voice, body language, level/manner/pace of conversation and what we talk about.
Maybe you're worried though about not "being your true self"/or being "split off" sometimes??? And maybe that's something you might want to talk to your T about............but otherwise I'd say that sometimes different aspects/sides of us come out with different people. And maybe the different voices aren't too different from each other to allow it be be more a reflection of how you're feeling/your relationships with those people, do you think???
And maybe if it's not more than that.............sometimes you might want to just allow yourself to just be the "you" that comes out when talking to some of those different people, but if you don't..........
Then perhaps have a think about the way some of those people make you feel, challenge those feelings if they aren't as positive or think about how you can change the way you feel with them.
Think about how you'd actually like the levels of interactions to go with some of those people..........and that might involve thinking about your true/real feelings, who you are/what you want deep down, in a sense. Then perhaps rehearse bits of conversation or imagine talking to them on a different level.
And as you're conscious that you're doing it that might help a lot in some self-monitoring when you're with different people............so perhaps some extra focus when you're talking to people and when you're finding yourself switching/falling into voices maybe you can try pulling back?? It might sometimes take a lot to do it, as it sounds like a habit (??) but maybe with practice...........??
And at those times maybe try to remember how you might interact with someone else, and try to bring that more into the approach you're using with the person you're with???
Even use breaks in the conversation/or times they're talking to "take a breathe" and try to come back at them differently???
So just some thoughts...............but definitely talk to your T if you think you need to.

Alison

[Crazy Hitch]

Hi ThunderGoddess

Definitely one for the T. I'm not sure what's causing it. From what I understand, this appears to be happening on a more frequent basis than you'd like.

The only time I can think of when I put on my "ultra sweet" voice is when I'm dealing with female clients for my business ... but that's probably somewhat different ... customer is king!

[ThunderGoddess]

Originally Posted by Frankbtl

Hi ThunderGoddess, if it's bothering you definitely tell your T. Doesn't matter how "big", "small", "embarrassing", "uncomfortable" anything is.........if it's bothering you, it matters!!
But just to throw a few thoughts your way.........I'd be asking for causes too. I mean sometimes we do interact differently with different people............some may make us feel more positive/motivated in general.........some may make us feel comfortable in being vulnerable or open.............some may make us feel more relaxed.............some may make us feel like we need to be in control..........some may make us feel like we need to please them or prove ourselves...........and there'll be different things we've shared or experienced with different people..........so our whole attitude/what we put across can sometimes be different with different people including tones of voice, body language, level/manner/pace of conversation and what we talk about.
Maybe you're worried though about not "being your true self"/or being "split off" sometimes??? And maybe that's something you might want to talk to your T about............but otherwise I'd say that sometimes different aspects/sides of us come out with different people. And maybe the different voices aren't too different from each other to allow it be be more a reflection of how you're feeling/your relationships with those people, do you think???
And maybe if it's not more than that.............sometimes you might want to just allow yourself to just be the "you" that comes out when talking to some of those different people, but if you don't..........
Then perhaps have a think about the way some of those people make you feel, challenge those feelings if they aren't as positive or think about how you can change the way you feel with them.
Think about how you'd actually like the levels of interactions to go with some of those people..........and that might involve thinking about your true/real feelings, who you are/what you want deep down, in a sense. Then perhaps rehearse bits of conversation or imagine talking to them on a different level.
And as you're conscious that you're doing it that might help a lot in some self-monitoring when you're with different people............so perhaps some extra focus when you're talking to people and when you're finding yourself switching/falling into voices maybe you can try pulling back?? It might sometimes take a lot to do it, as it sounds like a habit (??) but maybe with practice...........??
And at those times maybe try to remember how you might interact with someone else, and try to bring that more into the approach you're using with the person you're with???
Even use breaks in the conversation/or times they're talking to "take a breathe" and try to come back at them differently???
So just some thoughts...............but definitely talk to your T if you think you need to.

Alison

Thank you for your response I really like what you had to say here and I think your tips will help me. I don't think my voices are that different from each other so it is unlikely people notice just my boyfriend because he's always with me so he did agree he could tell I do it. It makes sense because all the different voices are with people who make me feel certain ways, so thank you again for your detailed response it was very helpful

[ThunderGoddess]

Originally Posted by Hooligan

Hi ThunderGoddess

Definitely one for the T. I'm not sure what's causing it. From what I understand, this appears to be happening on a more frequent basis than you'd like.

The only time I can think of when I put on my "ultra sweet" voice is when I'm dealing with female clients for my business ... but that's probably somewhat different ... customer is king!

Haha idk if it's different for me because I do the same thing with clients it's what I like to call "perma smile" picked that up from the book Dorthoy Must Die. In that book oz is in turmoil so the munchkins and other oz people use this paste on their lips which gives them a fake smile when they have to pretend to be happy.

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by ThunderGoddess

Haha idk if it's different for me because I do the same thing with clients it's what I like to call "perma smile" picked that up from the book Dorthoy Must Die. In that book oz is in turmoil so the munchkins and other oz people use this paste on their lips which gives them a fake smile when they have to pretend to be happy.

"Pretend to be happy" .....

Story of my life!

I think 1 Direction wrote a song with that title. Not that I'm a fan of them but my 11 year old daughter sure is!

[HD7970GHZ]

I definitely relate to this!

Just happened a month or so ago when I saw my old friend for the first time in years. I had a high pitched voice - I definitely knew I was doing it and I tried to lower the town of my voice to a more manly level - but I just couldn't stop talking like a younger child. I even had discomfort in my throat / vocal cords by trying to shift... It was horrible!

I also notice this happens with people randomly. It's both with males and females, any age really.

My theory is that I'm struggling to fight back emotions - and my subconscious wants to desperately leap forward and hug the other person tight. I feel this come in waves - it can come and go while in the presence of someone who I feel safe around.

[ThunderGoddess]

Originally Posted by HD7970GHZ

I definitely relate to this!

Just happened a month or so ago when I saw my old friend for the first time in years. I had a high pitched voice - I definitely knew I was doing it and I tried to lower the town of my voice to a more manly level - but I just couldn't stop talking like a younger child. I even had discomfort in my throat / vocal cords by trying to shift... It was horrible!

I also notice this happens with people randomly. It's both with males and females, any age really.

My theory is that I'm struggling to fight back emotions - and my subconscious wants to desperately leap forward and hug the other person tight. I feel this come in waves - it can come and go while in the presence of someone who I feel safe around.

Oh my gosh yeah I know how you feel it is horrible but for me it's mainly because I feel like they know I'm doing it and know when I stop and I get embarrassed.
It's random for me as well. That theory makes sense I often have the urge to hug people that make me feel safe but I usually fight it and don't end up doing it. I wonder if that is something like disorganized attachment, My therapist suggested that is my attachment style I just read some info she sent me on the subject.