[booklover101]

In the past five years I have been diagnosed with ADHD and Trichatillomania. I also show signs if compulsive eating and compulsive lying. The compulsive lying has burned bridges with all the members of my family, and even though my mother is a psychiatrist she hates me and will not help in any way or refer me to her colleagues. Even though I know I brought this upon myself, it still hurts to have the members of my family say I'm "self-centered" and "have no conscience". I am sick of being a dishonest,
untrustworthy person. I have low self-esteem as well, and often hate myself. I would go out on a limb and say I had Borderline Personality Disorder, but I'm under eighteen so I can't be officially diagnosed. I show many of the symptoms including the feeling of emptiness and extreme mood swings. What do you say?

[3xjj]

Hi there, booklover. I am in my forties and have a personality disorder myself. My heart goes out to you. One of my first thoughts is that you didn't totally bring this upon yourself. It is important to accept responsibility for your choices and behaviors, but you have to realize you are very wounded. A child or teen who has the conditions and behaviors you do is hurting. If your mother is a psychiatrist, healthy, and without blame, you would likely not be in the emotional pain you are in. It is important for her not to enable bad choices, but what you've experienced definitely indicates bad parenting. She is not emotionally well herself.

My advice... recognize that you are not responsible for your fear, hurt, sadness, etc. Recognize that you are responsible for how you choose to react to those feelings. As you mentioned, constant lying is only going to make you feel worse about yourself. Have you dug down into why you lie? Are you trying to make others think more highly of you in the moment? It might work in the short term, like alcohol or drugs do for some, but it won't work in the long term.

I am sorry you are in so much pain! Try to take baby steps in the direction you want to go. Also, if your mom won't help you, is there any adult who might?

[JanLeiden]

Hi,

how are you bookiebook?

I am always fascinated with the idea that people read books as i find them so incredibly boring. I will listen to an audiobook, i just listened to crime and punishement the other day(s) and enjoyed it quite a lot. It's laziness i am sure, there is nothing wrong with reading, i rather admire it i suppose.

Sorry to hear about your issues. (see i am a compulsive liar too!) (that's a joke)

I am really interested in your post. What are they types of things you lie about? Do you really lie more than the average teenager?

Why does your family think you have no conscience? Are these exaggerations or things they say in the heat of arguments? Do you feel like you are lacking a conscience?

You mention you have low self-esteem. Is it possible you aren't as bad as people tell you but because you have low self-esteem you are too easily willing to believe these bad things about yourself?

Sorry if i am asking too many questions. You seem like a rather thoughtful person and i wouldn't mind listening to more of your thoughts.

That's my advice really. Keep working on working it out in your head. Find help where you can get it and don't bottle things up too much.