[Lene]

I look like a very calm person, on the outside, but I am often feeling anger and extreme tension.
Sometimes I am so angry I can barely breath, but I try not to make it show.
All kind of disturbing thoughts cross my mind, including self harm.
I try to calm down and I don't act on any of my plans.
However, I feel that suppressing these feelings, I harm myself and my mind.
Just now, I feel at the edge because of a phone call that brought bad news.
How do you manage anger?
I feel like I want to explode.

[JosephR]

I'm not sure it is the most healthy, But it gets me though the day to day.
I just mentally step outside of myself and don't attach to anything.
As for the feelings, Yea I feel them, But thats over there and not important to me.

[lavendersage]

Breath. Sounds r.i.d.i.c.u.l.o.u.s. but...it works. Focus, think, concentrate ONLY on drawing your breath in slowly....then exhaling it slowly. Do it several times, at least until you begin to feel calmer. Which - promise - you will.

Then, find images on your computer/phone that make you feel better/calmer/laugh. Oceans, mountains, surfboarding, Chris Rock, Louis C.K. - whatever makes you feel GOOD. Look at that them for a bit.

get up - walk around - get a drink of water. If you can, watch/listen to a funny TV show/movie/comedienne that you like.

Check in to DBT - it's supposed to be "the thing" for BPD emotional dysregulation.

Sorry for your bad news.

[Luctor]

Originally Posted by lavendersage

Breath. Sounds r.i.d.i.c.u.l.o.u.s. but...it works. Focus, think, concentrate ONLY on drawing your breath in slowly....then exhaling it slowly. Do it several times, at least until you begin to feel calmer. Which - promise - you will.

Then, find images on your computer/phone that make you feel better/calmer/laugh. Oceans, mountains, surfboarding, Chris Rock, Louis C.K. - whatever makes you feel GOOD. Look at that them for a bit.

get up - walk around - get a drink of water. If you can, watch/listen to a funny TV show/movie/comedienne that you like.

Check in to DBT - it's supposed to be "the thing" for BPD emotional dysregulation.

Sorry for your bad news.

This.

Look into DBT, specifically mindfulness. A difficult skill to master, but one that can have life changing results.

And although definitely not the first line of treatment, there are also medication options to explore - if you haven't already. I'm medicated to abate agitation and aggression. It helps only up until a certain point, thereafter, you have to learn the skills to deal with anger yourself.

Sorry about the bad news. I hope you feel better soon.

[SillyKitty]

Look into ACT, too. It calms me way down. I'm a SIer, but I've mostly quit using the ACT method (and tons of therapy).

[CopperStar]

My bipolar medication helps a ton with anger and agitation. I have both bipolar disorder and BPD traits. I'm currently on Zyprexa 10mg as-needed, and I've gone from spending hours daily so angry I was getting homicidal ideation (no meds), to only experience slight disgruntlement when things go amiss, but being able to deal with it and move on quickly. Don't rule out meds if you haven't tried them, they can work tiny miracles for some people.

[Lene]

Originally Posted by JosephR

I'm not sure it is the most healthy, But it gets me though the day to day.
I just mentally step outside of myself and don't attach to anything.
As for the feelings, Yea I feel them, But thats over there and not important to me.

Hi Joseph, I used to do that all the time. I detached and I wasn't there anymore.
But then, it became more pinful to do that over the years. Espcially now, I don't want to be detached from my family and children, so I get angry at the detachment, start thinking of self harming... Not healthy at all!
So I am looking into new strategies...

[Lene]

Originally Posted by lavendersage

Breath. Sounds r.i.d.i.c.u.l.o.u.s. but...it works. Focus, think, concentrate ONLY on drawing your breath in slowly....then exhaling it slowly. Do it several times, at least until you begin to feel calmer. Which - promise - you will.

Then, find images on your computer/phone that make you feel better/calmer/laugh. Oceans, mountains, surfboarding, Chris Rock, Louis C.K. - whatever makes you feel GOOD. Look at that them for a bit.

get up - walk around - get a drink of water. If you can, watch/listen to a funny TV show/movie/comedienne that you like.

Check in to DBT - it's supposed to be "the thing" for BPD emotional dysregulation.

Sorry for your bad news.

Thanks! Yes breathing helps a lot! I just have to remember how to do that more often.
I am quite addicted to Pinterest for inspirational images too!
I will check DBT too. I was looking into it before my diagnosis was changed from bipolar to borderline. I still have a book somewhere...

[Lene]

Originally Posted by Luctor

This.

Look into DBT, specifically mindfulness. A difficult skill to master, but one that can have life changing results.

And although definitely not the first line of treatment, there are also medication options to explore - if you haven't already. I'm medicated to abate agitation and aggression. It helps only up until a certain point, thereafter, you have to learn the skills to deal with anger yourself.

Sorry about the bad news. I hope you feel better soon.

Thanks I will look into it. Also mindfulness.
I take antidepressants and anxiety medication when needed, medication is great but I agree it is not enough.

I feel better, less angry, the bad news are still there but I am dealing with that...

[Lene]

Originally Posted by SillyKitty

Look into ACT, too. It calms me way down. I'm a SIer, but I've mostly quit using the ACT method (and tons of therapy).

ACT as Acceptance and commitment therapy?
I didn't know it, thanks, I will do some more research.
Yes, tons of therapy! It is hard but it works.

[Lene]

Originally Posted by CopperStar

My bipolar medication helps a ton with anger and agitation. I have both bipolar disorder and BPD traits. I'm currently on Zyprexa 10mg as-needed, and I've gone from spending hours daily so angry I was getting homicidal ideation (no meds), to only experience slight disgruntlement when things go amiss, but being able to deal with it and move on quickly. Don't rule out meds if you haven't tried them, they can work tiny miracles for some people.

I am on antidepresants and antianxiety medication when needed.
It helps a lot, it takes the edge off even if it is not a definitive cure.
When I get angry or upset of course I go to one extreme to the other, so I have very aggressive thoughts, then the aggressive thughts turn on myslef, and so on. Bad cycle, I need ot break it!

[Lene]

Thanks for all your replies.
Glad to know I am not alone

My therapist just said last week I really need to look into this anger thing because it is affecting me so much.
I don't express it in any external way, so it is eating at me on the inside.

I just don't want to go there because it relates so much to my past, and it hurts to remember.
But I guess there is no other way.