wanna make a Youtube video?

ThunderGoddess · 02:26 PM

Hey everyone I am trying to make a bpd video for youtube I'm feeling creative and I'm out of art supplies. I am going to write down my struggles and hopes having bpd and display text on slides with music playing. Inspired by books, I was thinking I could make a long video with chapters and each chapter be a different persons struggles with bpd and hopefully also a song of their choice. If anyone is interested in this project please give me your ideas and such. OHh and maybe we could do like a common goal at the end. one of my goals is freedom!!!

Sorry I'm just trying to explain this better so lets say you pick a song
You can take pictures, write text, use art, whatever you want in that time span of your one song and that is your chapter of your life with bpd.

The images will look something like this
wanna make a Youtube video?

And this video is similar but not exactly what I wanted to do I want to make sure we put our hopes in this video too

cryingontheinside · Oct 16, 2015, 12:53 PM

What do we have to do? What is it for? To make people aware of BPD ? Or to help others with BPD ?

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ThunderGoddess · Oct 16, 2015, 12:56 PM

I just want to add that a friend of mine I met inpatient is also going to join in on this, she isn't on these forums but she struggles with bpd so that is 2 of us for the book/video!! everyone is welcome to participate

cryingontheinside · Oct 16, 2015, 12:58 PM

I want to help

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ThunderGoddess · Oct 16, 2015, 12:59 PM

The video is for us to be able to speak out and let our voices be heard that this world is hard for us to live in but we are trying and we need help sometimes. It's just a fun creative way to express our feelings you can pick your pictures and write your own story in your own words however you like the struggles you go through and the hopes and dreams you have.

ThunderGoddess · 01:54 PM

here I will post mine even though it is in super rough form !! This is just sort of an outline I'd say we should keep our songs to like 8 mins max ?? Throw idea's at me if you'd like

These will be separated into slides I may cut some I may add some this is just my idea in the making.

I'm going to use the song Wolf by First Aid Kit

Every couple hours or less my mood changes with dbt I am learning how to cope with these sudden changes in mood I often have suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts because this world is not equipped for someone with bpd every day life is a struggle to keep up with people who do not have or understand my mental illness
I have extremely unstable relationships with human beings, I lack regular friendships and usually stay away from people because of my lack of regualting my emotions
my mental illness is not guaranteed to be cured but you can try to reduce some symptoms by going to dbt therapy and taking medicationI dropped out of high school before my 16th birthday, I got in many physical and verbal altercations in school with teachers and students, At 15 I was secretly diagnosed with borderline personality disorder but I was told it was bipolar disorder and bpd was never spoken of again until I was 27 years old
I haven't worked in 5 months I do not know when I will be able to get back to work but I will be in therapy for at least 4 years until I may cure some of my symptoms preventing me from being an acceptable employee
Since I have not worked I do not make an income, my mother and boyfriend support me financially even though they struggle with their own financial lives, I feel horrible about that and wish I could take care of myself right now but I am going to therapy to learn how to take care of myself

I have been denied for food stamps and temporary disability insurance, for over 2 years now, in the past 2 years I have made about $12,000, It is a fact people with bpd have interrupted education; sudden shifts in vocational aspirations; recurrent job losses, but my illness is not seen as a disability

cryingontheinside · Oct 16, 2015, 01:21 PM

My story

I was abused as a child and tried to block it out by day dream. I day dreamed in class at school never learning much and barely interacting with others especially adults.

When I was about 15 I knew there was something seriously wrong with me and that I did not know how to be happy.

Interaction with others was painful. I was more than shy. I was afraid. As a result I was bullied.

Bullied at college but I got top grades. Bullied at work. Once when a girl had me pinned up against a wall and was spitting at my I lost control of my anger and kept punching her till she ran out of the room.

I stopped eating and talking and cried everyday wishing to disappear and die.

I was almost sectioned at 16. I tried to be normal I worked and had two beautiful children but I couldn't cope well as a human being . I was always bullied at work and couldn't sleep at night with worry and anxiety.

I chose abusive partners who were violent and controlling .

I tried to seek help from doctors but they treated me like I was wasting their time when they could be seeing patients with real problems.

With no help and support and being bullied and beaten I turned to alcahol and drugs and lost custody of my children.

I wasn't diagnosed with BPD till a few years ago. I am now 34 but I have struggled all my life.

I am a recluse. I hide away from the world. It feels like there is no hope for me and my life is already older. I can't work any more . I have too many phobias and wouldn't be able to work well with people or control my emotions around them.

I feel I have gotten much worse because I didn't get help from the beginning when it all started.

My life is worse than being in a prison sell locked up. I am lonely and in emotional pain that I don't feel is socially exceptable to talk about with others.

I want to get better. I still have a tiny light of hope that people will one day understand us more and help us more freely and give us the strength to help ourselves

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ThunderGoddess · Oct 16, 2015, 01:33 PM

Thank you so much for sharing your story I have hope for all of us!
Do you want to choose a picture for each of your texts? And a song you would want to play during your chapter? So I see you have 14 entries so you can pick 14 pictures so go behind each of them or you can combine some of the entries and do less photos it is entirely up to you. And you can change anything you want up until the final texts are layed on the photos ! I will message you before I do this!

cryingontheinside · Oct 16, 2015, 01:36 PM

I would like mad world to be my song

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ThunderGoddess · Oct 16, 2015, 01:43 PM

okay do you want to name your chapter and do you want to put down a name for yourself? I personally am not using my real name I may use my forum name.

cryingontheinside · Oct 16, 2015, 01:48 PM

I think I'll use my forum name. I don't know what to name my chapter and I made some spelling and grammer errors that I need to fix . I hope more people will join in. It could be very positive to share our experiences .

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ThunderGoddess · Oct 16, 2015, 02:09 PM

That's okay because I have to retype everything to add it to the images which you can also choose just try to keep all images between 1080 x 720p you can add them to your profile on here or email them to me. Yeah I hope we get more people too!! This is going to take a while to make so we have plenty of time for others to jump in

Trippin2.0 · Oct 16, 2015, 04:32 PM

I want to join in too, I'm just stuck in some emotional fodder right now so can't think straight... Will try to provide my input asap.

ThunderGoddess · Oct 16, 2015, 05:15 PM

I'm glad to hear that you want to join in. I'm sorry your feeling stuck I feel that way too today I'm so emotional hopefully we will feel better soon!! There's no rush I think it's going to take some time to pick out all the details still.

WibblyWobbly · Oct 17, 2015, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cryingontheinside

My story

I was abused as a child and tried to block it out by day dream. I day dreamed in class at school never learning much and barely interacting with others especially adults.

When I was about 15 I knew there was something seriously wrong with me and that I did not know how to be happy.

Interaction with others was painful. I was more than shy. I was afraid. As a result I was bullied.

Bullied at college but I got top grades. Bullied at work. Once when a girl had me pinned up against a wall and was spitting at my I lost control of my anger and kept punching her till she ran out of the room.

I stopped eating and talking and cried everyday wishing to disappear and die.

I was almost sectioned at 16. I tried to be normal I worked and had two beautiful children but I couldn't cope well as a human being . I was always bullied at work and couldn't sleep at night with worry and anxiety.

I chose abusive partners who were violent and controlling .

I tried to seek help from doctors but they treated me like I was wasting their time when they could be seeing patients with real problems.

With no help and support and being bullied and beaten I turned to alcahol and drugs and lost custody of my children.

I wasn't diagnosed with BPD till a few years ago. I am now 34 but I have struggled all my life.

I am a recluse. I hide away from the world. It feels like there is no hope for me and my life is already older. I can't work any more . I have too many phobias and wouldn't be able to work well with people or control my emotions around them.

I feel I have gotten much worse because I didn't get help from the beginning when it all started.

My life is worse than being in a prison sell locked up. I am lonely and in emotional pain that I don't feel is socially exceptable to talk about with others.

I want to get better. I still have a tiny light of hope that people will one day understand us more and help us more freely and give us the strength to help ourselves

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Mine is also from abuse and btw I am ALSO 34!! That is such a coincidence as there are so few people who participate in this forum. Cool!!

WibblyWobbly · Oct 17, 2015, 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cryingontheinside

I would like mad world to be my song

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One of my favorites

WibblyWobbly · Oct 17, 2015, 01:11 PM

I'd like to participate as long as we have time to work on it... I'm trying to be more productive every day but I wouldn't want to let you down by holding things up though.

This is such a creative way to be creative without spending money! It seems like the personal goal would be therapeutic but the public goal would be to raise awareness about our struggles, yes? I would suggest ending each section with one positive slide... Our current treatment/progress/goals for recovery. I don't want anyone with BPD to feel hopeless at the end of watching it. Is that okay? We should show how it's beaten us but we are fighting!! Not trying to hijack your project though, just excited about it.

I'd be okay using my first name, or we could use a pseudonym. I actually would prefer not to use my forum name because I'm afraid people would find my posts on here and read more of my background. I know it's public anyway but YouTube has so much more visibility.

ThunderGoddess · Oct 17, 2015, 05:01 PM

WibblyWobbly I am 100% down with that idea I totally agree we should end on a positive because I also do not want people to feel hopeless I want it to show awareness but also show how hard we are trying and how far we can get! This will be a slow project but I think it's good to since that way we can all focus on it for a while I think that will help us for a distraction

I still have to figure out everything I want to do for my chapter!

ThunderGoddess · 06:19 PM

Also if anyone has used windows movie maker if you know how to add songs please let me know! I do not have itunes or anything downloaded on my computer I can get it I think but Idk if I need that! The last time I made one of these videos was in 2009 and I believe I had songs on my computer at the time. And I'm changing my song to Ghost Town by first aid kit!!

ThunderGoddess · Oct 18, 2015, 10:56 AM

Also any idea's on what the call our story are welcome! I was thinking of something like "Through Darkness, Hope is Our Light"

cryingontheinside · Oct 18, 2015, 11:10 AM

I think BPD needs to be talked about so much more in the world and this is one way of doing it. I want to make my family watch it. I want them to understand it . so bad. I want them to understand me instead of judging me .

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ThunderGoddess · Oct 18, 2015, 01:04 PM

I agree I want to show this to everyone I know who either took my behavior as attention seeking or just a careless person. People need to understand that when people act out something is wrong and that person is in need of some help not that we are trash and should be ignored!

I think we should all mention the fact that we either don't have a job or we have very unstable employment because I really think we should at least have the chance at temporary disability that opportunity has never come to me and I know a lot of people with BPD have this issue if we had a little bit of help we would be able to heal faster and take care of ourselves.

Also I would love to have this video done and posted by May which is BPD awareness month!!