Rejection

Is extreme. fear of rejection a bpd thing or just related to my childhood/PTSD stuff maybe?

Bpd is characterized by rejection sensitivity.

I have a serious issue with it...

I even confessed to my t I was afraid she didn't like me. And I've asked her before if she was mad because police came to my house

Hallie, rejection is part of the disorder. Also too when we feel drained or uncertain or insignificant we feel rejection at its strongest. I hope this is something that with your support system you can achieve overcoming it. blessings and hugs...

Thanks.

I'm still learning about BPd and accepting the dx. I tried looking info up on my own but I kept finding people saying how therapists and doctors hate treating bpd and we're manipulative and draining etc

I don't want to be seen as that. I certainly would never intentionally act like that

Personally, I think all humans are sensitive to rejection, just by our very nature of being a social species. We need one another to survive, so we have always created "community" as far back as archeologists have tracked us.

So when you are rejected, it touches a very basic, innate response in our minds. Somewhere a while back (sorry, I can't remember the link), I read a study that showed that the mind's response to percieved rejection or ostracism is precisely the same as how it percieves physical trauma and pain. So in other words, the same part of the brain that processes physical pain also processes social rejection.

The reason for this is purely based in our survival instincts. Rejection literally causes your body to release a whole slew of hormones, including cortisol and progesterone, in order to essentially influence our behavior to be 're-accepted' by those who rejected us (another study altogether, again, no source, but if you really want me to hunt it back down, I can try). This study interestingly showed that people who had not experienced extreme traumatic rejection earlier in life responded with higher progesterone, which increased their amenability and desire to reconcile with those whom had turned on them. In the cases where the victim of rejection had experienced traumatic rejection in the past, their P levels actually dropped. Progesterone generally is a soothing, sedating hormone, thus leaving these victims in an extraordinary state of trauma, and often causing them to be more sensitive and withdrawn.

So I guess what I'm getting at is that is this... it could be, and probably is from both, but it is also a very natural response to a very traumatic experience for all human beings. So please try not to stress over it too much, okay? The more you stress, the more your poor body and heart suffers from it.

As for the bit about being very manipulative, it is my understanding that BPD's are often percieved that way by others. But here's the thing (and this is just my opinion, no research here), you cannot control how others see you, even a therapist. You can only control how you see yourself, how you react to others and so on.

It strikes me that you are researching and trying to understand borderline PD, which tells me that you want to be better. That fact alone is worth self-reflection. Are you manipulative? Or are you being seen as manipulative by others. There is a big difference. In my opinion, this is where you start self-growth: when you start to be able to see yourself with clarity and learn to control your reactions to others, whoever they may be and however they may treat you.

Briefly, I only say all this because I recently suffered a traumatic rejection from one entire side of my family and they called me a lot of nasty things. So I started reading and learning about why and how I could feel that way and be seen that way. I've come a long way since that painful rejection, but I just want you to know that I know just how much a rejection can turn your life upside down and your heart inside out.

Ty so much for the replies.

I'm deeply upset when I am rejected. I am currently in DBT and going to weekly counseling to deal with the bpd, bipolar, PTSD and gad. I want to not deal with this stuff anymore

I realize I fit a lot of bpd characteristics abd recently found out I was initially dxd at 18 and they never told me. I was re diagnosed in 2013...that was removed by my former pdoc then I've been dxd with bpd again this ye. So I guess after three times I need to accept it

The fact you are here says a lot about you, positive affirmation of your growth towards health!

thanks I'm
Doing my best

Something else that bugs me is I don't have violent outbursts like people seem to expect with bpd and I'm not a drama queen. I do get irritable buit I don't get in fights or have I ever. I'm usually a very nice person.

I'm not an angry person at all! I'm also not a drama queen, but can get very irritable. There are nine criterions for BPD and to be diagnosed, you have to meet 5.

I have 7