[leomama]

My dx was PD NOS, not BPD, so if I don't read as a normal BPD that is why.

So, where to start.

Before I got all better, I friended and unfriended people on Facebook. My former t told me an inside joke among therapists is that's how they identify borderlines: by how often they unfriend people on Facebook.

That being said, I just found out today that my former best friend's sister blocked me on Facebook. Initially she was very happy I reached out to her but I suspect she talked to her sister who told her I was crazy or something like that. I also offended another former best friend by unfriending her on Facebook for not paying attention to me (this was before 4 rounds of DBT). She was very upset by what I had done, telling me I meant a lot to her and how could I do that to her.

Recently I tried to make an amends to her but she ignored it.

The other best friend ignored me when I tried to add her back as well.

This is the closest I've come to having to make any kind of amends and I have to accept the fact that my two friends don't want to accept me back and the one friend's sister blocked me.

It hurts.

I tried to tell the one that told me I hurt her by unfriending her that I had traits of bpd and that's why I did that but I've dealt with that now but she didn't respond.

Can anyone else relate, have similar experiences?

Please try to be sensitive, I'm feeling a bit vulnerable right now. I know people on this forum can be tough, myself included.

Love to you all.

I had similar experiences.

I won't go into a lot of detail but I am totally not on Facebook anymore because of this friending, blocking, unfriending issues

I can't really give you advice, only that I know that my true friends are outside of social media - they will call me, visit me and most of all they understand me and my issues (and I will do the same for them). Sure we had our bad patches but if they truly care they will be there and try to understand. Just to add - I only have two friends I can truly count on the rest I would call acquaintances. And I'm fine with that.

Hope you work everything out...

[leomama]

Originally Posted by mermaid55555

I had similar experiences.


I won't go into a lot of detail but I am totally not on Facebook anymore because of this friending, blocking, unfriending issues


I can't really give you advice, only that I know that my true friends are outside of social media - they will call me, visit me and most of all they understand me and my issues (and I will do the same for them). Sure we had our bad patches but if they truly care they will be there and try to understand. Just to add - I only have two friends I can truly count on the rest I would call acquaintances. And I'm fine with that.


Hope you work everything out...

Ty these were high school friends so it's not like it matters but I was just kind of shocked to find the one woman's sister had gone from hot to cold on me. You could say she acted borderline. I wasn't borderline in high school, that came later. Yes I have friends in real life although I had one friend in real life do that to me last year and I'm still getting over that. She was totally borderline but says she didn't believe in the diagnosis. I guess she and I were too close for comfort. I do have one female friend my age right now but it's kind of a loose casual friendship. Thanks for responding.

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I can definitely relate to this. When I was on myspace and Facebook a few years ago, I would unfriend then friend them back or block. It did bother some people and others not so much. As for you trying to make amends with you friends, I can also relate to this. I made a thread about my situation a few weeks ago. I tried to reach out to my female friend 2 weeks ago and again last week but she hasn't responded. I'm sorry that your friends aren't willing to talk to you or mend things. It does indeed hurt. Hope things work out for you and your friends.

[leomama]

Its just two of my best friends from high school, I can walk away. I'm really sensitive to harsh females. I appreciate you relating to me.

[Pastel Kitten]

I can completely understand the desire to remove people who aren't paying attention to you as much as they used to. It feels like "what's the point of any of them sticking around?" and sort of "mentally unfriend" them before even removing them. For me personally though, I've always been very afraid to remove people from my actual friend lists for fear of being **** talked behind my back (it's how I've managed to keep emotionally abusive people around in my life too). I need to stop being so concerned with how people view me, but it's been a big struggle for years.

[leomama]

You know what's funny is my friend was offended I removed her even though she wasn't interacting with me! She said I meant so much to her and she was so happy to reconnect with me. Then when I told her I had BPD traits and I got help she totally ignored me. The other friend's sister was all excited I connected to her and then I was going through my messages and noticed she blocked me. That hurt. The friend herself has been ignoring me. The ironic thing is she is an ND.

Originally Posted by leomama

Ty these were high school friends so it's not like it matters but I was just kind of shocked to find the one woman's sister had gone from hot to cold on me. You could say she acted borderline. I wasn't borderline in high school, that came later. Yes I have friends in real life although I had one friend in real life do that to me last year and I'm still getting over that. She was totally borderline but says she didn't believe in the diagnosis. I guess she and I were too close for comfort. I do have one female friend my age right now but it's kind of a loose casual friendship. Thanks for responding.

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I had this one female friend from university. You can say we were best friends. And she also acted like an complete idiot when she found out I was gay (the same time I realised it) and also freaked out re. my psychiatric diagnosis. She completely ignored me and just never spoke to me again. And seven years later she wanted to make small talk just out of the blue.. wtf?? Um no I don't think so, when I confronted her about it all she just went back to ignoring me again

I am also super sensitive... and it hurts. Trying to make sense of it all just makes it more confusing.

Maybe I'm also guilty of not accepting other people's apologies. But the ironic thing is when you need them they aren't there, and when they want to be there again you don't need them anymore. Maybe it is harsh but I just don't want to get hurt again.

You need good people in your life... even if it is only one or two. You deserve it. Everyone does.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by mermaid55555

I had this one female friend from university. You can say we were best friends. And she also acted like an complete idiot when she found out I was gay (the same time I realised it) and also freaked out re. my psychiatric diagnosis. She completely ignored me and just never spoke to me again. And seven years later she wanted to make small talk just out of the blue.. wtf?? Um no I don't think so, when I confronted her about it all she just went back to ignoring me again


I am also super sensitive... and it hurts. Trying to make sense of it all just makes it more confusing.


Maybe I'm also guilty of not accepting other people's apologies. But the ironic thing is when you need them they aren't there, and when they want to be there again you don't need them anymore. Maybe it is harsh but I just don't want to get hurt again.



You need good people in your life... even if it is only one or two. You deserve it. Everyone does.

Thank you and I do have good people including other friends from high school. One of the girls was a grade above me I think and another one went to a different school. We were friends because of our love for the environment .
There are very few people in my life I am no contact with. The only person I blocked on Facebook was my brother because he sent me really ugly messages.
I know not everybody's going to like me but I'm always shocked when people exclude or reject me. I just don't get it. I don't treat others that way.

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Originally Posted by leomama

Thank you and I do have good people including other friends from high school. One of the girls was a grade above me I think and another one went to a different school. We were friends because of our love for the environment .
There are very few people in my life I am no contact with. The only person I blocked on Facebook was my brother because he sent me really ugly messages.
I know not everybody's going to like me but I'm always shocked when people exclude or reject me. I just don't get it. I don't treat others that way.

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I also don't get it... I am really hurt when people do things like that to me. Because I wouldn't do it to them. And then I withdraw. Anyway... Thanks for the thread.

Take care and have a good day

[Pastel Kitten]

Originally Posted by leomama

You know what's funny is my friend was offended I removed her even though she wasn't interacting with me! She said I meant so much to her and she was so happy to reconnect with me. Then when I told her I had BPD traits and I got help she totally ignored me. The other friend's sister was all excited I connected to her and then I was going through my messages and noticed she blocked me. That hurt. The friend herself has been ignoring me. The ironic thing is she is an ND.

Agh I made the mistake of telling a childhood friend on facebook about my BPD and bipolar. I was trying to catch up with him because I hadn't talked to him in so many years...and I guess I was just really desperate and trying to reach out to people I cared about with my problems. He told me he'd get back to me and never did. That was in March so I feel like "oh god why did I even bother tell him. He probably thinks I'm just going to be negative."

[leomama]

I am sorry. My friend ignored me when I told her I had BPD traits and I treated them. That did not feel good. My other friend ignored me and her sister blocked me so I couldn't even tell her sister. I'm trying to let go of it. I've only had a handful of people block me on Facebook, my friend's sister and one other female. I feel very vulnerable talking about this out in public.

[leomama]

You're welcome. I've been learning about narc abuse and I learned that when it comes to narcs you don't treat them how you want to be treated because they are not nice people.

Originally Posted by leomama

I am sorry. My friend ignored me when I told her I had BPD traits and I treated them. That did not feel good. My other friend ignored me and her sister blocked me so I couldn't even tell her sister. I'm trying to let go of it. I've only had a handful of people block me on Facebook, my friend's sister and one other female. I feel very vulnerable talking about this out in public.

It's ok to talk about it. You're not alone in this. You were open and honest with your friend. You showed that you have a heart, still cared about them and put effort on mending things with them. If they don't want to do their on part in that, then that's on them. You did what you thought was best.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by Lil Rocky

It's ok to talk about it. You're not alone in this. You were open and honest with your friend. You showed that you have a heart, still cared about them and put effort on mending things with them. If they don't want to do their on part in that, then that's on them. You did what you thought was best.

Ty. Now that I'm all better I can move forward. I wish that hadn't happened but it did and I'm powerless over it. I can make new friends now. I have a couple of thoughts about bpd that I want to start on separate threads such as that bpd is due to faulty wiring.

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