[lolarose]

I have always suffered from severe mood changes, but its recently escalated to the point where I start having extreme thoughts. After I've calmed down, I usually realise how silly I was being, but I can't take back whatever I've said to whomever witnessed my episode.

Most of the time, I get triggered by my boyfriend and the things he says and does. We have been together 3 years, but that past year has been long distance and we will be reunited in a few weeks, but recently my moods have been extremely unstable when speaking to him online. It's almsot as if I can't control what I say, and if I keep my emotions in then I'll have a **** day for the rest of the day.

Does anybody have any tips on dealing with mood changes and sentitivity while in a relationship? I'm scared that these episodes will put an end to our relationship, despite reassurance from him that he loves me unconditionally. Someone can only take so much, right?

[Skeezyks]

Hello lolarose: Yes... I believe you are on target here. Someone can only take so much. I really believe that those of us who struggle with mental health issues have to realize family & friends have their limits. So it is up to us to find ways not to continually transgress those limits. If we cannot, or will not, then we must be prepared to suffer the consequences. That's just the way it is. So I'd like to complement you on your insight here.

I don't know as I have any particular suggestions I can make. I know in my own case, I struggle with quite a lot of generalized anxiety. And it is this anxiety that I think has tended to fuel my own extreme emotional upheavals. So what I try to do is to be "mindful" of how I'm feeling & where my thoughts are going in any particular situation. I also maintain a regular meditation practice.

I strive to not simply react to whatever comes up. I find that if I can simply create a bit of space between something my spouse says that might set me off, & when I respond, this can make the difference between replying compassionately versus blurting out the first thing that comes to mind. I'm not on psych med's nor do I see a therapist. So it's up to me to see to it that I find ways to control what could potentially be my abrasive, sarcastic temperament. It's a work in progress...

[leomama]

Does he feed into your bpd at all? Does he have any dx?

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[Unrigged64072835]

I find it easier to journal how I'm feeling. That way I can get my thoughts out without verbally hurting anybody.

[lolarose]

Originally Posted by leomama

Does he feed into your bpd at all? Does he have any dx?

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No, he doesn't do anything to ever purposefully hurt me in any way. That's why this is so difficult: he's basically a perfect human being. It's innocent things like forgetting to reply to me or falling asleep while we chat online or coming home at 4 when he said he'd come back at 2. These are all so trivial yet they get me off so easily. I'm working on it, buts it's hard when I'm acting the way I do to the person I love the most, someone as kind, gentle and understanding as him.

[lolarose]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

I find it easier to journal how I'm feeling. That way I can get my thoughts out without verbally hurting anybody.

I do keep a journal, but often when I get triggered enough to have an episode (crying and screaming and often the need to hit something) I can't concentrate enough to write. I feel like all I can do to make myself better is tire myself out until I no longer have the energy to feel this way. But I am trying to write more in my diary about how I feel and if it's legitimate or not. Thank you for the advice