defective

edited....

U okay..?

yea am ok ...

What do you mean by the word defective? Is it reflecting how you feel...?

Hope you have a good day,
HD7970ghz

We are hear to listen...

As others have said, we're here to listen

We are here for you

i feel like am broken like a mirror smashed because of the way the BPD makes me feel
my mother says my mental illness is a attention seeking she says am lazy because i dont work have no kids and disabled due to my mental health
i just feel that i am a waste of life waste of time am 40 and the only thing i have done with my life is marry my husband who i love so very much

A lot of people don't understand mental illness, because they can't see it or understand it, like you would a person with a broken arm for example. Stay strong )

I share your sentiments...

I'm 27 years old guy though... but people make me feel that way too...

Hi Asphyxia,

You wrote:

This is certainly a common feeling feeling amongst us sufferers. You are NOT alone. It does not surprise me that your mother invalidates you: that is usual in Borderline families. I don't say that to discredit or invalidate your pain, only to point out that perhaps you can separate yourself from feeling so hurt by your mother by setting boundaries and accepting the role she has played and continues to play in exacerbating your illness. Perhaps you need to reevaluate your relationship with your mother and really put your foot down; set boundaries so that you no longer feel hurt by her. (Hard to do and takes time, but it can be done)

I would say that having a marriage is an extremely successful feat! Longest relationship I have had is a little over a month. I don't know how you do it - but it shows to me that there is hope for us to have meaningful and successful (albeit, fallible) relationships with others. How does your husband respond to your mental health struggles? Is he more understanding and compassionate? How does he treat your mother in response to her invalidation? Do you think he would say something to your mom? Ever considered having an intervention? Sometimes all it takes is a bit of shared insight.

Also - have you ever told your mother that her invalidation bothers you? Helping her to understand how you feel is an obvious response to invalidation - but sometimes people don't even consider trying. Wouldn't be fair to expect someone to change their ways if they don't know there is a problem in the first place. Then again, sometimes people try and it makes no difference; thus, any attempt to help someone understand becomes futile...

I hope you are feeling better,
HD7970ghz

my mother is the kinda person that if you talk to her about thinks she tells you to **** off or she fights and becomes childish and says things that are upsetting and would make matters worse she never says sorry and is very narcissistic

Wow not nice