[Bpd0228]

My story (quite abbreviated): I started "acting out" hitting my head on the wall, destroying my bedroom, screaming, etc at age 16. Put on Zoloft. Again. And Again. And Again. Never effective.

Now age 34 with a 4 y/o and 3 y/o. Divorced from their dad, who has always been a great friend and still is.

Currently with a partner who is the only one I've ever trusted and truly loved. But I'm going to destroy it. I freak out when he wants to do something as simple as go out with a friend (totally normal, right). My anxiety goes through the roof. Other times any little thing will set me off. Stupid things, and when I calm down I feel guilty as hell because of my behavior.

For the last year I have persistently and adamantly sought treatment and a diagnosis. I've seen four doctors, and have been diagnosed with PTSD from childhood trauma and abuse from age 0-4 by my biological mother, attachment disorder, BP II and now finally BPD. Note: It was a struggle to get the BPD diagnosis because I do not cut or have suicidal thoughts.

I just started Lamictal and Wellbutrin; I'm on 50mg of Lamictal and 300mg Wellbutrin. I have Klonopin to use as needed.

In two weeks I begin individual and group DBT.

I just need encouragement. I hate how I treat the person I love the most. He is so amazing and deserves the best. I need to get there. I'm doing everything I can. I want to be normal, I want to say go have a great time with your friends and I'll see you later. I want to not snap at him over stupid things. I just want to be "normal"

Please share your stories of DBT, medications that have helped and any relationship advice you have.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Bpd0228: I'm sorry I cannot comment knowledgeably with regard to your concerns. However this appears to have been your first post here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

[Trippin2.0]

Therapy, individual and DBT has saved my relationship.

I'm doing my third round of DBT, because I want to make sure the skills and coping mechanisms stick and become second nature.

Hang in there, there is definitely hope!

Also

[Unrigged64072835]

Therapy and DBT have helped immensely.

[smmath]

I want to commend you on noticing that you are struggling and getting treatment. That is not easy by any means.

I did two cycles of DBT and am seeing an individual therapist as well. I am also in relationship with the love of my life. I can't tell you how many times my BPD has caused me to say and do things I regret. What has helped me with my relationship is to make him fully aware of what is going on. He knows my dx and the symptoms. When I tell him I am struggling with X criteria of the dx, it helps him to understand. I also use skills as much as possible to reduce my emotion driven behaviors.

I too don't like it when he wants to spend healthy time away from me. His friends seem like a threat to me. In those situations, I check the facts of the situation and accept that he needs to do this. He is not leaving me and he still loves me. Reminding myself of this and doing some self care helps me in those moments.

Please feel free to ask me anything else!