[ThunderGoddess]

I have a boyfriend of 5 years who tells me how much he loves me daily and to me it feels like just words, my mom and sister tell me they love me but I don't feel loved nor do I feel love towards them. Like I'm grateful they are all around and say they love me but I can't emotionally connect with their love.

Then I lust over people and think that is love, now that's what made me realize I don't feel love.

Anyone else feel / understand this?

[Lonlin3zz]

I feel like this, as someone who is emotionally-independent.

I still yearn the first kiss I had with my bpd date, and the feeling of wanting to go back to her is so strong, it seem like as though it's love than lust.

Idk, i'm messed up myself

[jjh78]

I actually replied to a post about my girlfriend feeling distant over the past few months since quitting her job because of the cruel environment and then undiagnosed BPD creating a perfect storm of pain for her. Since that time she has been unable to find work and has depended on me to pay for everything, which has brought her tremendous undue shame.

I've done my best to show her love with doing as much around the house as I can and getting her gifts that she needed. Now when she says she loves me I don't always know if I believe her.

One of the things she has said to me is that she doesn't even love herself right now. It hurts to hear her say that. And when I saw your post it made me want to read and respond.

Do you have that same feeling toward yourself?

It's a hard position to be in, and I wish you the best of luck.

[crimsoncat]

I think i feel love but i can't show love very easily and often not at all in traditional ways, i tend to enjoy cooking for people i care about and stuff like that , i find it hard to say those 3 words and often don't know if i mean them but deep down i know i don't ever want my h to not be there !!!! So that's as clear as mud lol.

[jjh78]

Originally Posted by crimsoncat

I think i feel love but i can't show love very easily and often not at all in traditional ways, i tend to enjoy cooking for people i care about and stuff like that , i find it hard to say those 3 words and often don't know if i mean them but deep down i know i don't ever want my h to not be there !!!! So that's as clear as mud lol.

I wouldn't say it's clear as mud... Maybe clear as dirty water, but not mud. lol

I only ask you because it kind of helps me understand what my gf and how she responds to me.

She too does things in the non-traditional sense to show affection with cooking or doing something for me with getting things for my bedroom and such. Perhaps that's why the posts online tell people to read through the lines when you love someone with BPD. It isn't just for finding the trigger and ways to calm one down, but to maybe even find how they're showing you they love you.

[Althuzia]

Originally Posted by ThunderGoddess

I have a boyfriend of 5 years who tells me how much he loves me daily and to me it feels like just words, my mom and sister tell me they love me but I don't feel loved nor do I feel love towards them. Like I'm grateful they are all around and say they love me but I can't emotionally connect with their love.

Then I lust over people and think that is love, now that's what made me realize I don't feel love.

Anyone else feel / understand this?

I've never experienced love and once in a while i lust over someone.

[shezbut]

I understand what you're saying perfectly. I struggle with the same concept, unfortunately.

I don't know if I'm simply unable to trust anyone deeply enough to form "true love" , I just haven't found Mr. Right yet, or if I am just dead inside. I can understand how my mistrust of people in general formed many years ago...but does that mean that I'm doomed to live a life alone now too?? Awfully depressing to me!

As you can see, however, we aren't the only ones suffering this personality characteristic. (Yay)