[OliverB]

I don't think I have BPD (and my current and ex psychiatrist didn't too), but I was diagnosed with it twice while IP (unspecified PD with borderline traits and mixed PD borderline and schizotypal).

I just wonder what unstable sense of self means, can you give me some examples?

Thank you.

[subtle lights]

For me it means that I feel like I'm a different person from time to time. My personality, likes, dislikes, values, beliefs change a lot. Today I'm sure I want to be a yoga teacher, tomorrow I want to work with children, then I want to make websites, then I am going on holiday and after a long flight I'm checking out careers in aviation. Maybe it doesn't change every day but it does often.
I usually end up wanting to change jobs often though in reality I stick to it but resent it. Then I like it again. Then resent it again.
I buy hobby materials and then I want to do a completely different hobby, I dive into it, it's like what I wanna do forever. Then I just don't care anymore about it.
I'm also unsure about my sexual orientation somewhat...
My self image changes a lot based on my environment and people around me as well. Some call this "absorbing" other peoples stuff, identity, etc. Sometimes I feel like I am getting defined through others. Like I'd disappear without being defined by or attached in a way to other people.
Today I describe myself in one way, tomorrow in another way. There are some relatively stable characteristics though about myself, and I'm trying not to forget those.

This is how I see it/ experience it, but I suppose others might have slightly different perspective on this.

[miss_rainy]

Wow... that describes me a lot, now I'm thinking...

[subtle lights]

Originally Posted by miss_rainy

Wow... that describes me a lot, now I'm thinking...

I'm not even sure that all what I described there is necessarily related to BPD. It's just my experience, but I think maybe a lot of people go through these to a smaller degree.

[Pastel Kitten]

Originally Posted by subtle lights

For me it means that I feel like I'm a different person from time to time. My personality, likes, dislikes, values, beliefs change a lot. Today I'm sure I want to be a yoga teacher, tomorrow I want to work with children, then I want to make websites, then I am going on holiday and after a long flight I'm checking out careers in aviation. Maybe it doesn't change every day but it does often.
I usually end up wanting to change jobs often though in reality I stick to it but resent it. Then I like it again. Then resent it again.
I buy hobby materials and then I want to do a completely different hobby, I dive into it, it's like what I wanna do forever. Then I just don't care anymore about it.
I'm also unsure about my sexual orientation somewhat...
My self image changes a lot based on my environment and people around me as well. Some call this "absorbing" other peoples stuff, identity, etc. Sometimes I feel like I am getting defined through others. Like I'd disappear without being defined by or attached in a way to other people.
Today I describe myself in one way, tomorrow in another way. There are some relatively stable characteristics though about myself, and I'm trying not to forget those.

This is how I see it/ experience it, but I suppose others might have slightly different perspective on this.

Ugh I relate to this so much. The worst is when people remember my different "personalities" and see how I am now, get confused, and question why I'm so different.

I can't explain why, and it sucks being reminded of all of the different "people" I've been when I've been trying so hard to be one consistent person.

Of course I don't blame them for questioning since I have definitely made some pretty drastic changes but it still makes me feel terrible nonetheless and, of course, makes me question who I am even further.

[subtle lights]

Originally Posted by Pastel Kitten

Ugh I relate to this so much. The worst is when people remember my different "personalities" and see how I am now, get confused, and question why I'm so different.

I can't explain why, and it sucks being reminded of all of the different "people" I've been when I've been trying so hard to be one consistent person.

Of course I don't blame them for questioning since I have definitely made some pretty drastic changes but it still makes me feel terrible nonetheless and, of course, makes me question who I am even further.

It's nice to know I'm not alone (even though I'm sorry that you are experiencing this too..)
The worst is when I somehow "slide back" to my old self with people I've known for a long time. It's like I automatically start acting and feeling like that person I'm not anymore.

[moonlitwish]

Wow...that sounds horrible! I'm so sorry y'all have to go through that! I wasn't sure what it meant either but I have to say, that's the one bpd trait I don't have unless you count my ambivalence towards my career. I'm not sure what I want to do when I grow up (ha-I'm 32!) but I do know it ain't what I'm doing!

[shezbut]

Hello,

I think that subtle lights and Pastel Kitten described BPD very well. I'd just like to add a couple more characteristics ~ because we don't all have the very same qualities.

I am an extremist. I either LOVE or HATE: people, things, music, or qualities. And I do jump around on that list myself. Sometimes, I hate grunge (or whatever). Then, I meet a decent person into that sort of thing, which entirely changes my point of view. Suddenly, I love grunge (or ___), and I go into it completely! Some time passes, and I change again into something totally different.

For myself, I can say that I have no idea who I am. People always say that you have to please yourself, you have to be true to yourself, etc. I say that I have no idea who in the heck I am ~ and I never have. I've been chasing whomever I might be for as long as I can recall!!

Personally, a sad effect (that I've noticed recently) is that I don't throw every little bit of trust into any of my relationships anymore. Even though I try .... I just can't do it. I hold back an important part of my core. Trust, maybe? I will not allow myself to completely relax and just "be". {Maybe this is a PTSD thing though, I'm not sure}

((hugs)) to you!