Coping with ended relationship

It's been a few months since my ex who i have 3 children with moved out. Our 8 years together was unhealthy and stressful and i thought the separation was going be a good thing, but I'm miserable and having trouble coping that I'm now alone. I feel her presence was enough for my subconscious and i was able to focus on myself and struggles with my recent mental breakdown and working to properly medicate my bipolar and BPD symptoms. I'm obsessively thinking about her and recklessly spent most of tax return on her hoping for relief and gratitude and when that didn't happen i went into an intense rage and then severe depression. I have no friends or family for support so it's been brutal for quite some time. I've recently started seeing my therapist and joined a few online support groups but the struggle continues. Just thought i'de share my story.

Hey man, it's hellish journey but we'll be there to listen to you.

You have taken the first step and I'm proud of what you're doing to raise yourself up.

Take care

Just continues to be a repetitive cycle of same recurring thoughts and hopeless emotions to having a decent day or 2 then repeat. The explanation of switching back and forth between personalities makes alot of sense.

I'm sorry you're going through a tough time, it sounds really difficult to deal with all that. You seem really strong based on how you're handling the situation. I can relate somewhat to the reccuring thoughts thing, changing and repeating, that really sucks.