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#1
May 12, 2017, 07:31 AM
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The last years have been hell. I tried so many things that didn't work, and I moved countries three times.
I feel exhausted, and I just feel I don't want to do or try anything again. I have no friends here but I don't want any. I have no job but I don't want one. I have stopped playing music but I don't want to start again. I just feel I am surviving for other people (my BF and my parents), but if they were gone I would just give up. Feels so exhausting to live like this 
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 crimsoncat, LadyShadow, mixtape1234, sinking, subtle lights, Unrigged64072835
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 sinking
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#2
May 12, 2017, 07:41 AM
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((Hugs)) I know what it's like to feel this way. I have struggled for a long time without purpose, or anything in life. Do you have a therapist? Pdoc? On any meds? If you are you may want to discuss some changes to help get you through.
I personally fight through it. I am on meds now but I refuse to change to anything else because all I need is something to fight the mania, (I am bipolar). What I suggest is to try to listen to music like you used to play, maybe that will give you inspiration to play again? I don't know. You are lucky to have your bf and your parents. I am glad you are there for them. Hopefully you find some peace soon. 
__________________
Tales of Love, Motivation, and An Interesting Journey - Please Subscribe to my Website on WordPress: Inspired Odyssey's Journey of Grace, Grit and Starting Again |
| Ms.Lizette
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#3
May 12, 2017, 12:23 PM
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I can relate a lot with this. Also have tried a lot of things and was even excited about them at the time, but now all the excitement is gone and I cannot make mysef get it back.
Changed hobbies, learned stuff, planned new carreer(s), ended relationship, changed beliefs and worldviews. Always being so sure that now this will be it. Now I'm still trying, but don't have the motivation anymore and I'm terrified I need to decide because of my age, but I can't, just drifting. I have no job now either and also live in a place with no ties really. Sorry this wasn't helpful, I can only say "me too" on this one... |
| Ms.Lizette, sinking
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| Ms.Lizette, sinking
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#4
May 14, 2017, 01:13 PM
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I have struggled with this for so many years. It really is a terrible, living without a sense of purpose...especially when other people around you seem to have it figured out to some degree.
I'm only just now discovering my purpose/sense of self, and I have a LONG way to go. It's pretty scary.
__________________
Do at least one thing you enjoy each day.   Dx: BPD, OCD, GAD, and PTSD traits Rx: Lamictal 200mg and 0.5mg Ativan as needed "Now I can see all the colors that you see." |
| Ms.Lizette, subtle lights
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