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#1
Jun 27, 2017, 02:57 PM
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Hello community,
I am lonely. Have been for a long time. A girl on online dating is messaging me a lot. She has been trying to get me to go for a walk. She seems like a nice girl, has been honest and upfront about a serious car accident she was in awhile back. She is in recovery. Normally it is the guy that has to reach out and actively pursue the girl, however, in this case it is the other way around. I feel the need to pull her but I also feel the need to push, so I have declined being able to go for walks and meet. I forced myself to answer the first phone call from her, but I have avoided the next two... I am pushing her away because I am afraid of rejection, abandonment, etc... What do I do? I am not healthy at this stage either and I worry about becoming attached. Some professionals are telling me to try it and date, it is a learning experience... Others are saying maybe it is too soon... That perhaps these are red flags that this girl has her own attachment issues and perhaps I should steer clear in case it brings up my own issues and hurts me... I want a girlfriend so bad... But maybe I am not ready for this.  Will I ever be? Is this passing up an opportunity to have fun?Thanks, HD7970ghz
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"stand for those who are forgotten - sacrifice for those who forget" "roller coasters not only go up and down - they also go in circles" "the point of therapy - is to get out of therapy" "don't put all your eggs - in one basket" "promote pleasure - prevent pain" "with change - comes loss" |
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#2
Jun 27, 2017, 04:00 PM
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push pull...
maybe just be upfront... that way if rejection happens you can push her away that way... thats what i have been doing ultimately... it hurts either way i have found out... becoming attached hurts... pushing away hurts... pursuing hurts... it just hurts, its gonna hurt... its gonna be scary... its just boring and tiresome and painful being lonely... maybe break the monotony... go for a walk, talk to her, maybe it will be fun... she seems interested in you, none the less right... i am not good at advice... not in a good place to give advice... and god knows (lol i dont believe in god) that i shouldnt give relationship advice... but what is there to lose...? more loneliness? i would be afraid... either way... afraid of being alone... afraid of being with someone... but its so boring and painful being alone just stop thinking about it so much and go for it.... think too long, you think wrong... stop thinking and just do
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 HD7970GHZ
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 HD7970GHZ
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#3
Jun 29, 2017, 01:08 AM
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Thank you ElevatedSoul! I really liked what you shared and I took it to heart.
I FORCED myself out of my comfort zone. It was excruciating and awkward and scary. But it was okay. Tomorrow she wants to hang out again.  I think I am liking this idea of jumping into participation in life. Thanks, HD7970hghz
__________________
"stand for those who are forgotten - sacrifice for those who forget" "roller coasters not only go up and down - they also go in circles" "the point of therapy - is to get out of therapy" "don't put all your eggs - in one basket" "promote pleasure - prevent pain" "with change - comes loss" |
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#4
Jun 29, 2017, 01:14 AM
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It's what I been doin , kinda just saying **** it why not in a sense and it really helping my social phobia, I still have bad days sometimes but it's getting alot better 😍
Now I just wish I could meet a girl too, I'm glad you guys had fun, keep it up and take life by the reins it's your life and you can do what ever you want
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#5
Jun 29, 2017, 07:28 PM
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Quote:
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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