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#1
Jan 25, 2018, 04:05 PM
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I'm not sure... Id say i have problems keeping the same image of people over time... they keep switching from good to bad and back all the time. Its tiring for me and UNFAIR for them....
Right now its my T and my mom. I dont like seeing them as the ENEMY for something they did or said or that is not even their fault... But even if i can see it, i cant stop and/or change what i feel. Its bad, i hate this but how can i CONTROL or CHANGE my feelings? I dont think i can... Can i? I should be better, treat them better but i CANT! |
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#2
Jan 25, 2018, 05:53 PM
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This is part of BPD. Or us swings in emotion in part of our disorder.
I totally do this. I try and release these intense feelings of rage and remind myself of times when I didn't feel this way about them. Ex. That day when I called my therapist as an emergency and she was compassionate and helped me. Then, I turn down the volume. Don't contact them to fight or rant or try to fix anything. I Focus attention on other things or people. Work on a craft project, go swimming. Distract myself from the intense hate. Eventually I will try and approach feelings in a more reasonable state of mind. DW |
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#3
Jan 25, 2018, 07:20 PM
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I know this very feeling all to well. I see things in black and white. My therapist steered me to try to be "no judgmental", not only with the person but not judging the feeling. Be aware of it, recognize and slide. One thing that has helped me is "create doubt". In other words, when I feel like someone is treating me badly or I internalize things, when we think black and white it becomes fact. I say to myself, well maybe it isnt bad. Maybe its not me. That helps me stay somewhat centered.
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 DesigningWoman
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#4
Jan 26, 2018, 06:07 AM
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Yup.....I idolize them and then I hate them. It jus took one infraction(according to my brain) and they were evil in my eyes.
__________________
When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors. |
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