Does anybody have a way to control their anger that goes with borderline besides wanting to self injure or holding it in any suggestions

[jeremiahgirl]

Hello, I understand somethings about anger; my main issues with bpd is controling my anger when it arises. I've been told to do deep breathing, and also try to defuse it by waliking away from the present situation, and find something else to do besides harming myself. I have a tendency to internalize my anger upon myself. I know others with bpd strike out at others. I have also been put onedication to decrease my anger impulses; have you been told about medications? Lastly, when at home and I get angry I try to rip up old phone books, journal, or pound a pillow. Maybe these can assist you? Hope so (: JG+

I HAVE TRIED MEDS SUCH AS SEAQUEL I TOOK IT FOR 1 YEAR IT DID NOT SEEM TO WORK IT SEEMS THAT IT MADE ME ANGIER SO I STOPPED IHAVE TRIED ABILAFY BUT THAT DID NOT WORK EITHER THANKS FOR THE ADVISE

[shezbut]

I haven't found a foolproof method of releasing that anger, before turing it inward. BUT- a big help for me is to let out intense energy by going for a power walk. If I could handle running, I would do that! Jump rope, sit-ups, push-ups, etc. I wouldn't advise weight lifting until you gain better control over the emotion and simply focus on what your body is doing.

That is my unprofessional, experienced advice
Shez

[Rapunzel]

You need to understand the anger first, then you can work on controlling it. Know what you are angry about, beyond just the surface. Feelings have a purpose. I'm working on learning about emotion regulation and anger management, and have too many different things floating around right now, but when I get it sorted out a little more, I'll try to post some of the best approaches.

[ciefish]

I read or was told "depression is anger turned inwards". For me thats how I react so your post really touches me, I know it's not the best choice but lately thats were I am. Growing up I was never allowed to be angry, that wasn't safe. The models I had weren't the best at showing me healthy ways to express my anger. After reading the other posts I agree that understanding anger is a big part of it. I admit I have anger issues too, and I struggle with how to cope. The suggestion about pounding pillows reminded me of a type of therapy called Gestalt therapy I have done. My understanding of Gestalt was to physically release the emotion in a safe way. We were encouraged to pound pillows (being careful not to hurt self or others), we were asked to scream or cry in a safe setting to "release" our emotion. Gestalt felt like a redirection and release of anger in a safe manner. I also cope with anger by working out, I like to lift weights and ride my bikes. Great idea to discuss anger, great thread

[ECHOES]

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfu...mental-health/

Here is a wonderful article from the PC homepage that I just read today.
With so many of our borderline symptoms, slowing things down and looking to see what is there, applying mindfulness...is not only calming but a terrific opportunity for insight.
I am going to try this myself... Good luck to us both!

[Elysium]

LONG POSTING.....


Hey there!!

I went through 8 months of DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) which helped me a lot to learn about my BPD symptoms and taught interventions I could do for myself when I was feeling like I wanted to act out on someone or SI. The most difficult part of the DBT was learning to incorporate it into daily life, but I wanted to share some tips for you.

Give them a try if you like.

1) OPPOSITE TO EMOTION: This is just a method of helping pull you out of an emotion that you feel you may be stuck in, or getting sucked into, and you know you need to pull yourself back out of it. It sounds simple, but can be challenging. Basically, when you begin to feel angry, hurt, or like you want to SI, force yourself to do something that is opposite to whatever emotion(s) you are experiencing. (I.E. You are getting angry and want to SI...Go put on a funny movie, or put on some dance music and start dancing, read a light-hearted book, call a friend and have a healthy gossip session, have sex...(hee hee))

2) SMILE: Believe it or not, this does help. There have been studies done that show if you force yourself to smile when you are feeling poorly, it actually does begin to release chemicals in the brain that can help to offset those negative emotions. This takes practice if you want to increase your brains reactivity time. Practice during your day....just whenever your washing dishes, doing laundry, etc...force a smile and hold it there. The more you do it, the faster your brains response will become.

3) Quick tips for SI or harming others that seems imminent...
- GRAB AN ICE CUBE: Pull an ice cube out of the freezer and hold it
tightly in your hand. It will get EXTREMEMLY cold to the point it will
become painful. This external pain can help to offset the internal
anguish. Once the ice cube's melted, usually the intensity of the urge
to SI has passed or decreased enough that it is more tolerable and you
can move on to one of the other things like smiling, opposite to
emotion....not to mention you have not caused any tissue damage
to yourself, or damaged others.

- BUBBLE WRAP: I just discovered this one about a week ago. I felt like
cutting myself and all I had was a small sheet of bubble wrap. I grabbed
it and just started popping away aggressively. It took me about 5
minutes to finish popping all of them, but when I was done I felt better
and my urge had passed and I was able to do some self soothing.

- SNAP A RUBBERBAND: Tried this one too...it works, you just have to
keep snapping it for a minute if your urge lasts. Place the band around
your wrist and snap away.

SELF SOOTHING ACTIVITIES: For the less intense moments. Snuggle with a cat or dog, or a person if you are comfortable with that. Take a bubble bath and place some candles around you and try listening to some soothing music. Ask for a massage...if this would make you feel better. Go out and get your hair washed at a hair stylists. Treat yourself to a goody. Wear your pajamas all day.

***Another thing I learned in the DBT is that anger is often a secondary emotion. Meaning that it often follows closely behind other emotions such as fear, pain, disgust. It steps in to take over for those emotions so the self doesn't have to feel those other emotions. Very rarely is anger a primary emotion, so when you do feel anger or rage, do your best to take a moment and communicate with yourself to discover what you are actually feeling. You might find out you're really not angry, but you are in external or internal pain, or that you are disgusted with someone elses behavior. Once you can identify the true emotion, you can begin to respond to that emotion instead of react to the anger.

I know this was long, but it has helped me a lot so I thought I would share!!

Take care.