Break's over

I thought I could do this on my own, but I find myself going back to the self destructive behavior and embracing it more than before.

So, I see that I must come back here and find out if the support and understanding can jerk me away from my own declining behavior and put me straight again.

Posting these things has been pretty traumatic and every day i struggle with leaving them posted on the forum. But it helped me a lot. I stayed away from the behavior for more than 120 days while hanging out with all of you. And in less than 30 days on my own, i was tempted right back into it.

I can only blame myself for all of it. PTSD and csa are no excuse.

So, I'll spend whatever time it takes here to escape again. WHen i was here before, i read too many forum posts and it dragged me down every day. This time, I'll only be reading PMs and replies to my posts. Chat is ok also ... holds me accountable.

Thank you to all who care.
T.

Troy I am so glad to see you back! you were missed. I don't read everything here at pc either. I can't imagine how I would feel if I did. read what you need and leave the rest hon. I know you can count on us here to offer you support. (((hugs)))

Hey Troy

PTSD may not be an excuse, but it sure is a reason

don't blame yourself for these behaviours, they did not debrief you adequately, if at all

it is not something you can handle alone

sounds like your VA there is as bad as ours in australia

here for you anytime

Welcome back (((((((( Troy ))))))))

Remember that all that you do is a learning experience. While you were away, you learned that sometimes in this life we need connections in order to help us heal. While there are some things that we can tackle on our own, there are times when we haven't learned the right lessons yet and need to continue reaching out, learning, touching and applying all we learn each day.

Nothing that happens is failure.....as long as the lesson is applied when needed to learn and heal from it. You are doing just that I'm sure.

In our quest for self help and healing we find our boundaries of what we can handle at any given time. You are learing your boundaries which may stay the same for awhile or may change at any given time. Step by step you will make it......like we all do

Glad you have joined us again Troy....and I wish you well.


sabby

Great note, thanks Sabby ... Good way to think of all this ... we'll see how well I learned that lesson.