[Troy]

Many days I just can't shake this feeling of anger. Some days it's like a rage just simmering under the skin, but almost always it's at the high anger level.

Nothing to be angry about. Everything going fine. Just feeling anger. I think others perceive it to be arrogance or a bad attitude toward them. It's not. Even when I'm around people I like a lot, I feel this simmering along.

The feeling is still there when I'm alone. It's like I need to strike out at something just to relieve the tension. Over the years I've learned to control this and no longer show anger about anything. Silence is the most observable sign remaining. The more angry, the more silent ... but it comes to the point where I hardly speak in a group anymore because so much of what is going on rubs against that anger.

And don't think the anger is gone if you see me smiling or laughing ... facade.

Please don't suggest anger management classes ... if those ppl could manage their anger half as much as I do, they wouldn't be there. No one is in danger. I don't break things. There's no road rage. I buried all of that long ago.

I almost hide it so well that I forget about it myself, but just the slightest tension and I know it's still there.

Is this all part of ptsd or am i whacko?

[bebop]

hon you need to find an outlet for the anger. otherwise it is like a boil under the skin. it just sits there and festers then comes to a head and ruptures. maybe a punching bag in the garage would work. suppressing it does more damage I think and yes I do believe it is ptsd. please find some way to let it go.

[thunderbear]

I have anger with my PTSD too. I can control it but it does feel just like you described. Have a good one

[skeeweeaka]

Yes it simmers daily, I had to talk myself down today because I was so angry and had a headache. I asked myself what was the alternative to the anger because I have been in that state for two months now... I guess I am just angry at myself, and everyone else. I think I just hate my life and am jealous of the life that others are leading that I used to have.

I want to be free, I want to be able to go outside without all of the paranoia and angst. I want to be able to go to my daughters events without caring about other people. I want to be there for her and show her love but have to work at it when I remember it... It isn't easy... I don't know what happened, well I know what happened, but I never used to be like this and it saddens me...

I'm happy that you are able to control your anger... I am working on it. I noticed jogging was helping, but I haven't done that in two weeks until today... It helped to get out in the fresh air and listen to music and just be...

TJ

[multipixie9]

Troy, the simmering rage is part of the ptsd. You are not, not, not wacko. Nononononono the rage is there because there are reasons for it to be there. You are not wacko!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Leslie

[Sannah]

Hi Troy, anger is always there for a reason. Do you have anyone to talk to about your anger? Talking about it will let it out.

[Lenny]

Troy, I have found that anger,,in my life,,, is fear under pretense.

My silly programming makes crying about or expressing fear shamefull and thus difficult.. So it gets expressed as anger internally or otherwise...Either expression is damaging...

When I find myself angry about something..or even angry without a specific something...I gently ask myself.."Lenny, what are you afraid of?"

If I sit quietly with that question,,and use self honestly as my mentor...I can usually find some fearfull illusion that is egging me on. Fear is not real,,it is an illusion,,though it can point us to safty...some fear has real associations.

But my anger,,which fear has manefested,,is misplaced. It is a feeling being born from a dream,,an inner repulsion to something that threatens me...usually imagined.

Fearlessness is a peace..a sanctom,,a feeling that all of what I am is in true context of my percieved universe. Whatever I have and whatever I am...is free to you or another,,without conditions or expectations..

By knowing this spiritually,,,there is nothing another man can do to harm me...no reason for fear,,and no mount for its mask...anger.

It has been my way for quite some time now,,,but I do slip,,,I become fearfull and wrap my inner hands around something that I believe belongs to me...it is silly,,,for everything in my universe is borrowed,,even this breath...

When I am in that true place,,,there is nothing more joyfull or free...in knowing beyond any question,,that everything is exactly how it must be in this very moment and that my place in it is as it should be...

Humbly,

Lenny

[skeeweeaka]

Originally Posted by Lenny

Troy, I have found that anger,,in my life,,, is fear under pretense.

My silly programming makes crying about or expressing fear shamefull and thus difficult.. So it gets expressed as anger internally or otherwise...Either expression is damaging...

When I find myself angry about something..or even angry without a specific something...I gently ask myself.."Lenny, what are you afraid of?"

If I sit quietly with that question,,and use self honestly as my mentor...I can usually find some fearfull illusion that is egging me on. Fear is not real,,it is an illusion,,though it can point us to safty...some fear has real associations.

But my anger,,which fear has manefested,,is misplaced. It is a feeling being born from a dream,,an inner repulsion to something that threatens me...usually imagined.

Fearlessness is a peace..a sanctom,,a feeling that all of what I am is in true context of my percieved universe. Whatever I have and whatever I am...is free to you or another,,without conditions or expectations..

By knowing this spiritually,,,there is nothing another man can do to harm me...no reason for fear,,and no mount for its mask...anger.

It has been my way for quite some time now,,,but I do slip,,,I become fearfull and wrap my inner hands around something that I believe belongs to me...it is silly,,,for everything in my universe is borrowed,,even this breath...

When I am in that true place,,,there is nothing more joyfull or free...in knowing beyond any question,,that everything is exactly how it must be in this very moment and that my place in it is as it should be...

Humbly,

Lenny

Wow again Lenny, you are so very full of knowledge! What am I afraid of? Seemingly everything!

TJ

[lovemesimple]

I definitely get like this too, and I get more worked up because I know it's ridiculous.. but trying doing something.. I hate running but sometimes thats all that can work

[skymonk]

What you're feeling is indeed part of the PTSD. Have you ever heard of the 7 stages of grief? They're in a book called "On Death&Dying" by Elizabeth Kubler Ross. That title doesn't sound like it applies, but it does make sense once you read it. And just because you go through a stage&think you're done with it, doesn't mean you won't come back to a stage again. It's the PTSD.