[SoupDragon]

I think I would personally find the whisper option difficult but understand from the above the reasons why others find it valuable.

I guess we are all different and I have viewed my last 12+ months as a journey to gain a better understanding of myself. I know I have a tendency to feel excluded, but realise this is my feeling and linked to my low self esteem.

I am sure I may feel a little paranoid in the chat rooms and for that reason I have not visited them yet. I shall view it as progress when I feel able to try to participate in them, but for the moment I just want to be kind to myself and not put that pressure on myself.

I sometimes feel that when I discuss an issue in chat and another person will enter; if I continue with my topic it may discourage another member with a problem from discussing theirs so I'll whisper to a pal of mine on PC instead for a more one on one chat when things get crowdy on there. That or I might want to speak to someone I know about matters that seem a bit more personal and not for everybody's ears so you might find yourself doing that too one day. Or again you might just want to talk to one person rather than a whole group. I really don't think (well I hope so) that people would use the whispers or private messaging option for any other purpose than to talk to friends. I don't imagine anything being said is against you and I think, like other members have pointed out, that "whispers" might have negative connotations for you. It really is pretty harmless. You'll find that if you use it too!

[Sanada]

Originally Posted by purple_fins

I'm sorry you are struggling with these feelings.
I struggle with similiar and have not been able to get past them, so I don't use chat-- but so so wish I could, as I get lonely and would like to
make some more friends and could use that added support
... but....
the upset feelings are too overwhelming
....*sigh*....

hope you can find a way to cope and
are able to use chat to your advantage.

best to you

fins

hi fins. I overeacted(with reason, my lack of seeing properly), but overeacted. Chat i find is wonderful, i'm finding new friends there. I overeacted because i was just unprepared. I'm findind my feet now in chat, and its wonderful if someone is lonley. Preparation is an important tool, "i" was unprepared. Please don't be put off by my comments, it was just myself looking through glass thinking i saw it all, when really i was looking through misted eyes. I'm constantly learning through chat, i love it, i wont give up. Chat, with all its tools is very good, i recomend anyone lonley to try it. Preparation is important, that was my lesson, now its out there. So i am now more ready to be in chat. I hope to meet you in chat fins, it really is a good place to be to meet people and share. Again sorry to raise this issue, but its what i'm here for, "To learn, share and grow", i have learned in chat, alot. I'm glad for it. I recomend it to anyone lonley(like myself), its a good place to be.

[Sanada]

Originally Posted by Numpty

I sometimes feel that when I discuss an issue in chat and another person will enter; if I continue with my topic it may discourage another member with a problem from discussing theirs so I'll whisper to a pal of mine on PC instead for a more one on one chat when things get crowdy on there. That or I might want to speak to someone I know about matters that seem a bit more personal and not for everybody's ears so you might find yourself doing that too one day. Or again you might just want to talk to one person rather than a whole group. I really don't think (well I hope so) that people would use the whispers or private messaging option for any other purpose than to talk to friends. I don't imagine anything being said is against you and I think, like other members have pointed out, that "whispers" might have negative connotations for you. It really is pretty harmless. You'll find that if you use it too!

thanx numpty, i know now how it works. I overeacted(silly sanada), i have met you in chat and find you great to chat with. The points you've made here are totaly relavant and i understand that the need in a crowded room to chat to one person rather than the whole group, is double plus relavant. Thanx again numpty, i'll see you later, in chat. Lots of Love. sanada. x

[Sanada]

Originally Posted by hanners

I also want to point out that some of us in chat just don't have much to say at the moment, or aren't in a state where we want/are able to express what's on our mind. I know when I get dizzy and confused (which is often) I have a hard time responding to people on chat.

dittio hanners, i overeacted. I'm shy sometimes and not other times, i'll not be put off, thanks for your wisdom in this subject, i need it. Lots of Love. sanada.x

[Sanada]

Originally Posted by DocJohn

Chat rooms are not for everyone. While it may seem nice to have access to immediate support, a lot of times people are in chat for other reasons (social, hanging out, etc.).

We are not going to remove the private messaging options, either here or in chat. But I do appreciate the feedback.

DocJohn

i overeacted docJohn, i'm still learning. I dont want to put off myself about chat(or anybody else). Thanks for the feed back. Lots of Love. sanada, x

[Sanada]

sorry if i put anyone of chat, its ok once one knows how to navigate. Its hard, but i'm getting relaxed, and now any paronia has gone........cool. i guess my experience helped cure some of my paronoia......strange how something that one sees as bad, turns round and becomes a cure. Learning i am. x

[Flooded]

Originally Posted by Sanada

sorry if i put anyone of chat, its ok once one knows how to navigate. Its hard, but i'm getting relaxed, and now any paronia has gone........cool. i guess my experience helped cure some of my paronoia......strange how something that one sees as bad, turns round and becomes a cure. Learning i am. x

I'm learning too. Hard to navigate at times

[TL]

Sanada, pepole have told you their feelings about whispering and private chatting. It's there for good reason and should be used judiciously.

There's something else to keep in mind. As (JD) indicated, folks may be multi-tasking, or distracted while in chat. Having said that, there are also folks who come to a room just to sit and not talk. They want to be near people they're familiar with, but don't wish to participate in the conversation. I know a few folks here like that, all they want is to be around people, feel safe and not feel the burden of having to say anything, if they so choose.

The longer you are here at PC, the more familiar you will become with the members. You'll find (and you know what I'm talking about) that there's a place and time for whispering and private chats.

[littlebitlost]

I really agree. I would much rather a one on one chat sometimes because what I say may be triggering to others, and I may not want to share it with the wider group.

I don't really know, but I feel that this community of people is a friendly and accepting group, and can't imagine people *****ing behind backs. We're all here for support and sharing info.

Don't be paranoid sweetie. You're lovely and I doubt anyone would say anything nasty about you. ((((((Sanada)))))

[Indie'sOK]

Most people who "whisper" in chat do so not to gossip about others, but to discuss things that they don't want to share with the whole group, like previous posters have said. It's a great way to have a private little conversation with someone while still being part of the main chat.

Glad you feel better now