Peer support for people with similar life experiences (e.g., people who’ve lost children, people with alcohol and substance abuse problems, etc.) has proven to be tremendously important towards helping many move through difficult situations (Reissman, 1989; Roberts & Rappaport, 1989). In general, peer support has been defined by the fact that people who have like experiences can better relate and can consequently offer more authentic empathy and validation. It is also not uncommon for people with similar lived experiences to offer each other practical advice and suggestions for strategies that professionals may not offer or even know about. Maintaining its non-professional vantage point is crucial in helping people rebuild their sense of community when they’ve had a disconnecting kind of experience. http://www.mentalhealthpeers.com/pdf...portUnique.pdf

There are a number of reasons emphasizing peer-to-peer support may not be a good fit at Psyche Central. Learning to speak to each other in a manner different from the terms and patterns now used here will take practice. Even with the new languages skills, we would have to learn a better alternative to shoot for. Pairing up would entail something akin to finding a therapist.

There are, I believe, some transferable skills of benefit. Martin Seligman is known for a positive approach to psychology and the theory of learned helplessness.

Seligman's foundational experiments and theory of "learned helplessness" began at University of Pennsylvania in 1967, as an extension of his interest in depression. Quite by accident, Seligman and colleagues discovered that the conditioning of dogs led to outcomes that were opposite to the predictions of B.F. Skinner's behaviorism, then a leading psychological theory.[5]

Seligman developed the theory further, finding learned helplessness to be a psychological condition in which a human being or an animal has learned to act or behave helplessly in a particular situation - usually after experiencing some inability to avoid an adverse situation - even when it actually has the power to change its unpleasant or even harmful circumstance. Seligman saw a similarity with severely depressed patients, and argued that clinical depression and related mental illnesses result in part from a perceived absence of control over the outcome of a situation.[6] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_...d_helplessness

Mead and MacNeil tell us:

Recovery in mental health has most often been defined as a process by which people labeled with mental illness regain a sense of hope and move towards a life of their own choosing (President’s Freedom Commission Report, 2003). While this definition on the surface seems obvious, what remains hidden is the extent to which people have gotten stuck in a medical interpretation of their experiences. With this stuckness comes a worldview in which one is constantly trying to deal with their perception of what’s wrong with them instead of what’s wrong with the situation. In other words, even if I have hope of moving into a better life, I have been taught to pay a lot of attention to my ‘symptoms.’ This interpretation of my experiences leaves me constantly on guard for what might happen to me should I start to get ‘sick.’ Even with recovery skills (learning to monitor my own symptoms), I find myself creating a life that is ultimately guided by something inherently wrong with me. With this understanding, I may continue to see myself as more fragile than most, and different than ‘normal’ people. I then continue to live in community as an outsider, no matter what goals I have achieved.

To regain a sense of hope means inculcating a sense of empowerment. Many here have experienced getting better. Others are able to relate how they coped and what skills worked for them. What many already do here is to raise the thought getting better is possible. If we stay in a mindset of cannot, we are unable to experience the joy of can do -- of accomplishment.

Mead and MacNeil also state:

Mutuality: Redefining help

Everything we have learned about help in the mental health system pushes us to think of it as a one-way process. Even when we refer to the helper’s principle we are only talking about role reversal and we simply mean that now that we are in the helper role, we feel better just by providing help. This kind of help continues to maintain static roles of helper and helpee. Further, as Friere (1995) points out it is not uncommon for someone who moves from helpee into helper role to build a sense of confidence and even to abuse 11 power in much the same ways as was done to them. One starts to identify as the more ‘recovered’ person and begins to see the relationship with his or her peer as one of service. Unfortunately, this dynamic will never really lead to meaningful community integration. Mutual help in peer support (and obviously in community) implies both people taking on both roles with each other. It means sharing our vulnerabilities and our strengths and finding value in each other’s help. If we continue with the example above, the conversation might have led to

Helper: I was just on my way to the gym, would you like to come with me? I’ve actually had some difficulty going alone, I always feel so overly conscious about my body. I feel like everyone’s staring.

Helpee turned helper: Wow I used to feel that way and it kept me from even wanting to use the locker room. Finally I just asked myself if I worried about what anyone else looked like. I realized that we all kind of think about ourselves and decided that probably no one really was paying attention. That thinking took practice, but now I feel pretty comfortable at the gym. I’d be happy to go with you if you think it might help.

The reciprocal nature of this interaction helps both people see themselves in multiple roles throughout the conversation. It is this level of mutuality that most resembles community type relationships and allows us to move towards full citizenship rather than feeling simply like the integrated mental patient in the community. It is crucial that even with paid peers we must figure out how the relationship can be more mutual and reciprocal Perhaps we can consider it our job to model peer support rather than to be a provider of service.

As others have struggled with before me, an area of concern is the mechanics of actually achieving something better for those working at it. We must get away from what some see as enabling to an honest assessment of the situation. From there, options may be proposed, goals set and methods of achieving them noted. To use a familiar term of art, a treatment plan is formulated and updated as needed.

It is my firm believe that all the wise counsel in the world is no substitute for doing the work that needs to get done to bring into existence positive change.

[Caretaker Leo]

As DocJohn wrote in Community Guidelines:

Forums Mission Statement

The purpose of the Forums at Psych Central is simple -- it's a small community devoted to support for mental health and relationship issues. In that vein, you should be civil and treat others as you expect to be treated here.

That statement pretty well sums up my "Posting Philosophy"

[Open Eyes]

I agree with Mead and McNeil,
Yes some people get stuck in an I am sorry for me, please be sorry for me agenda.
And I do recognize that it is important to express a struggle,yes, a struggle has to be identified in order for someone to acknowledge it and then begin to work on ways to resolve it. So a group strategy plan for healing methods is very helpful. I personally have difficulty going to forums when a presentation of this is bad, this is bad, this is bad takes place with no good input. I would rather not state anything and stay away until I can find a helpful tool to throw into that negetive process in an effort to break it up. I don't like the way those forums can get hypnotic in a sense, it is almost giving permission to continue to feel bad, feel bad, feel bad.

Open Eyes

[(JD)]

Just another thought... yes, there are those who need so much help and having never received any actual help, need to be helped at the most basic level: that of empathy. They do need to hear that "there, there" compassion. ( And everyone needs to know they're being heard and understood.) However, it's a thin line at some point where it goes into enabling, which does neither any good but perpetuates the disorder.

[arcangel]

Here's a simple thought that may or may not be related to "philosophy": How about clicking the poster's name and then clicking on "find more posts by" before replying.
Seems like such an obvious and simple thing.
Saves a lot of unnecessary questions and you get a better sense of the poster and his/her issues.
Just a thought...

[Ygrec23]

Originally Posted by arcangel

Here's a simple thought that may or may not be related to "philosophy": How about clicking the poster's name and then clicking on "find more posts by" before replying. Seems like such an obvious and simple thing. Saves a lot of unnecessary questions and you get a better sense of the poster and his/her issues. Just a thought...

It's an obvious and simple thing that I've never thought of. Thank YOU for the suggestion, which I'll ALWAYS use after now! Take care!

[Open Eyes]

LOL Ygrec23, I have to admit that I have never thought of that either. At the moment I don't recommend clicking on my find more posts because you might be reading all day. LOL

But it is a good thing to think about, a few times I posted and did not know the person and did not really recognize a lengthy history was there. I think it depends on how much time one has to post to a thread.

It is a good suggestion though.

Open Eyes

Many view some history before responding.