[Arethusa]

sometimes you can't tell if the poster is a male or female due to the username being so ambiguous. Was wondering if we could have a little notation for gender under our names, to the left of the post
<-------------------

[H3rmit]

I hope they don't do that unless they have "choose not to say." My gender is not important to me, though I agree it feels weird when people assume my gender and mention it (and almost always get it wrong.)

[Phreak]

Originally Posted by Arethusa

sometimes you can't tell if the poster is a male or female due to the username being so ambiguous. Was wondering if we could have a little notation for gender under our names, to the left of the post
<-------------------

Why is my gender relevant? The less data I have to provide about myself the better.

Originally Posted by H3rmit

I hope they don't do that unless they have "choose not to say." My gender is not important to me, though I agree it feels weird when people assume my gender and mention it (and almost always get it wrong.)

So you mean you're not a guy then?

[Arethusa]

Originally Posted by Phreak

Why is my gender relevant? The less data I have to provide about myself the better.

I'm just tired of having to try to guess whether the user is a male or female and almost always getting it wrong....

[tinyrabbit]

I worry about offending people by getting it wrong, e.g. "As X said in her post," when it's a male, or vice versa. I have guessed wrong before!

[H3rmit]

Originally Posted by Phreak

Why is my gender relevant? The less data I have to provide about myself the better.


So you mean you're not a guy then?

Why is that funny? Yes, you'd think with a picture of a little girl people would assume I'm female, but they tend to assume I'm a guy.

Interesting, idea, Arethusa.

However, how are any of us to know whether the member is lying about their gender?
I have noted that anyone can say anything on the internet...how are we to know for a fact? Strange world we live in here in cyberspace.

I find it is best not to address anyone as anything other than their username.
Gender does not enter into most discussions I partake in.
The ilk, integrity of character of others is far more important to me, personally, than is gender.

Fact is...there is no way to know for certain in cyberspace other than that everything you post on an open thread is out there for the whole world to read?

[spondiferous]

At the same time, it's important for many people to be able to identify as something. I can't remember, but if the transgender option doesn't exist it should.

[Gus1234U]

if you're going to feel the need to know someone's gender, then why not their race, religion, height to weight ratio... where does it end ?

we are not our bodies
we are not our emotions
we are not our thoughts
we are waves of consciousness in an ocean of awareness
be here now

I think it would be a good idea if we had the option to show our genders and those who don't want to then can choose not to too, Like they could show "Not telling"

[shortandcute]

I guess I haven't really thought much about that option--altho there have been times when I wish I knew for sure the gender of someone. If they do have that, I agree they should also make a "choose not to tell," or make it so they don't have to choose if they dont want to--making it optional.

[bronzeowl]

I don't feel like gender is relevant. Plus, unless there is an "Other" option it might make those of us (like myself) who are trans or identify as gender neutral feel ostracized. Of course, they could pick the gender that "best describes" but take it from me, that can cause more problems than it's worth sometimes.

I don't care if people assume I'm male. I don't care if they assume I'm female. Either way, I'm still human.

[Inedible]

It really shouldn't be so complicated. It is just a basic piece of identifying information so people can get a better picture of who they are talking to.

Hi Inedible!

"...people can get a better picture of who they are talking to."--Inedible

"People" lie. Sides that, you say something? I can't hear you.
We are in the great wide world of Cyberspacewooooohoooowl--scary place!!......we are not "talking"..we are typing.

I sometimes wonder if I am writing to "people" Who are you? Where are you?
What do you do all day? Are you a male or female? (Do not reply to that question!) I like you whichever one you are....and bronzeowl and all...you are who you write you are... I hope I hope I hope?

I have been lied to many times in Cyberspace, my friend. I thought I was really cracking up .........AGAIN.......but, now I know, I know nothing of a certainty in this land....of technology; where no one truly hears another with ears? No one speaks with their mouth? We are all typing.

Many many many in this land choose to be anonymous, and make up stories about who they are. Honestly! I was shocked when I figured that one out! I was a "bumpkin"! Utterly naive to what went on in cyberspace!!!!! Scared me big time! Thought I was delusional! jeepers.
I do not know why they do it; but they do. Perhaps they enjoy deceiving people? Perhaps they are really aliens from another planet? I have no idea.

I am too real here. A target. Bigtime Target on all sites I have been on; because I express my true feelings, thoughts in cyberspace. Which is why I prefer to private message these days.

This holds certain and real and true:

Whoever, whatever we all are, we all seek common solace, support here... Some are so isolated, hurt, and lost, and terrified of leaving these screens...
they are unable to step out into the real world

and have noodle salad in the park. (a quote from "As Good As it Gets"--Jack said it)
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and we know of a certainty...that what we write here does not stay here? (on open threads...all is out there on the world wide net for anyone to see!)

I send you hug?--a typed hug from my real heart?

Virago

[Inedible]

Even the lies people tell about themselves help to get to know them better.

[DocJohn]

Although we ask for gender upon registration, it's an optional field and not one we normally display. While I agree some people would prefer to know the gender of the person they're interacting with, we feel that's personal information that is up to each individual to decide whether to share with others.

So when in doubt, you could always ask in a PM, and if the person feels comfortable sharing that information, they could reply.

Best,
DocJohn

[Arethusa]

I'm not trying to be antagonistic but we do display user's locations. if we were concerned with maintaining people's privacy then that shouldn't be displayed as well as it could potentially be used to stalk said user.... I would think that the person's gender would be pretty safe to display and much safer than displaying the person's location for the whole wide world to see...

[bebop]

sometimes the location says something totally different as well. check them out. some might say "lost in the universe" or something wild like that instead of real location for safety sake.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Arethusa

I'm not trying to be antagonistic but we do display user's locations. if we were concerned with maintaining people's privacy then that shouldn't be displayed as well as it could potentially be used to stalk said user.... I would think that the person's gender would be pretty safe to display and much safer than displaying the person's location for the whole wide world to see...

From what I have seen location is optional too. you can go into your profile and remove your location or you can write in the space your location or like I have read on many posts people use location for putting ambiguous statements like I read one that said their location was somewhere in the universe. and I read other that stated fmtk (for me to know) and my favorite so far is somewhere over the rainbow (love that song)

there is an option for those that want to display their gender....place it in the status statement.. for example when I was not here during my vacation I placed in the status I was on vacation /getting married. when my babies were born I placed their names and weights in the status line until I could get in and make changes to my "about me"

I personally dont see a reason to include a gender icon when we already have options that allow those of us to show whether we are male/female/ bglt/ what ever in other ways like in our profiles and status.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

From what I have seen location is optional too. you can go into your profile and remove your location or you can write in the space your location or like I have read on many posts people use location for putting ambiguous statements like I read one that said their location was somewhere in the universe. and I read other that stated fmtk (for me to know) and my favorite so far is somewhere over the rainbow (love that song)

there is an option for those that want to display their gender....place it in the status statement.. for example when I was not here during my vacation I placed in the status I was on vacation /getting married. when my babies were born I placed their names and weights in the status line until I could get in and make changes to my "about me"

I personally dont see a reason to *** a gender icon when we already have options that allow those of us to show whether we are male/female/ bglt/ what ever in other ways like in our profiles and status.

for example I just changed my status to F/L/W/M/LCSW .....female/lesbian/Wife/mom/ therapist credentials.

by the way those astricks in the las paragraph is for the word "add" not a swear word for some reason the swear blocker is acting like the word "add" is a rear end today. lol

[unaluna]

Add my ***!

Must be fixed now!

[Phreak]

Originally Posted by Arethusa

I'm just tired of having to try to guess whether the user is a male or female and almost always getting it wrong....

Why guess? Just use gender neutral language I.e. "As x said in their post" rather than "as x said in his/her post"

I fully agree sometimes it feels like a pain, because you feel like you want to know, but ultimately it's not that big an issue.

If this had just been silently implemented it'd have just been accepted by the vast majority anyway.

It'd be good to have the option to not state though.

[Gus1234U]

Originally Posted by Phreak

If this had just been silently implemented it'd have just been accepted by the vast majority anyway.

i seem to remember the "vast Majority" not accepting some recent change to the forum window, and it was removed... hmmm what i would give for a memory~~

[Phreak]

People have a natural aversion towards change

Why? Change threatens them. That's why when they see someone in the minority, they will try to intimidate, tease, taunt, mock, and jeer at that person who's different.